Cupcake Trouble (Chapter 1)

Mr. Howard would put the grinch to shame. Ever since I came to Clark County High School, he's been a thorn on the side of my back. I mostly stayed out of trouble, and he still found a way to harass me. Telling me my clothes were too weird, or my handwriting was sloppy, even told me my hair was "confusing" (what's so confusing about a dread bun?). But it was my senior year, I wanted to let him know I had enough of the nonsense. Me and my partners, Jerry and Stacy, always joked about putting a tray of cupcakes in the teachers' lounge and just letting it explode in his wrinkly, sunk-in face. But as it got closer to graduation, we felt like it was time to make this a reality. The only question was how?

One afternoon, Jerry, Stacy, and I were eating at James' Burger Spot. It was a tiny outdoor diner that was honestly a bit run down. Rusty chairs, paint peeling off the tables, and a subtle lingering smell of bird feces. But we did not mind because James was a kind host and he looked like Danny Devito. He'd tell us fun stories, give us advice, and occasionally let us have free desserts. Today, he served us a giant, juicy bacon burger on a stick as we got ready to plan our million-dollar scheme. Well, except Jerry, who was face down reading Chocolate City Murders.

"Alright we gotta focus," I said, "We need to find somebody that can rig these cupcakes and make them explode".

Jerry looked up from his book. "So we really doing this, huh?".

Stacy lightly smacked him on the back of his head. "We been said we was gon' do this. You in or not?"

"Look, even if we did it, where the hell are we gonna get something to make em explode?".

I told him, "I'm good with the nerds, I'll get in a word with them, and see what they could do".

"Make sure you get Marcus fine ass," Stacy said with a mouth full of food. "You know they say nerds got the biggest..."

"The heck are you guys talking about," James interrupted, casting a shadow over our food.

Jerry started to fidget before he answered. "We're talking about nerds having giant hearts."

"You guys don't gotta lie to me," James replied, "I know you guys are tryna do a senior prank. Hell, there was this one professor, I called him strawberry cause how red he got when you pissed him off, but anyways, when they review the teachers for performance and all that, I slid a live Anaconda under the door. Boy I tell you, he jumped out the window and ran like he was in the damn Olympics!"

"That would be cool," Jerry said, "I'm allergic to Anacondas though, they give me bad rashes."

"Shut yo ass up," Stacy told him while nudging him.

Jerry just held his shoulder. "You such a bully".

"Anyways," James said, "Your plan sounds pretty funny, I'd tone it down a little though."

"What would you do?" I asked.

James put his hand on his chin for a minute. "Why not just get one of them nerds to put a battery in the cupcake, make it move around, make it chase him a bit? You'll still scare the crap outta him, and no one gets hurt".

"We ain't toning down a damn thing," Stacy said, "We said we gon explode the damn cupcakes, and that's exactly what the hell we gon do."

"It's worth hearing him out," I said, "Honestly, it could still be very funny".

"It's trippier too," Jerry added, "Imagine him seeing that, he'd think he's high or something".

"Seeing Mr. Howard stubborn ass act high would be funny," Stacy said, "Forget it, I'm in".

"See it all worked out," James said. Before he walked off, he said, "Don't forget to clean that table when you leave, by the way".

"Yes sir," Jerry replied while taking a huge bite from his burger. Stacy just looked at him and shook her head.

"You one square ass dude, you know that?"

We cleaned up and walked back to class, all while joking and teasing each other about the plan. Marcus was in my next period, Mr. Shepard's class, so I knew I had to talk to him about it. Mr. Shepard didn't do much - he'd just put up a word search, have us turn it in, and let us chill for the rest of the class. Even then, some people would still fail. I walked in the class, picked up a word search themed after trees, and sat next to Marcus. He wore a plaid red shirt with Khakis while sketching Gir from Invader Zim.

"What's good Simon?" he greeted me while waving his hand.

"Nothing much Marc," I replied. "Hey look, if you ain't busy, I need a big favor".

"For the last time I'm not gonna let you use my augmented reality 4D glasses," Marcus replied, "You're just gonna use it for p..."

"Nah nah not that," I assured him. "It would be nice though, but anyways..."


I looked around for a second to make sure no one was listening in to our conversation.

"What are you looking for?" Marcus asked. "Halle Berry to fall out the sky?"

I laughed a bit and said, "No dummy, this is a top-secret thing I need your help with. Me and the gang are tryna play a prank on Mr. Howard, and we need you to rig the cupcakes and make them move".

"Damn I wish I could," Marcus said, "But I can't, I'm still in the doghouse for cheating at the spelling bee".

"I told you everybody could see those glasses spelling the word for you".

Marcus folded his arms. "I thought I had invisibility mode dammit, but my girl April could help you though."

April had been Marcus' on and off girlfriend since the tenth grade. One week you can't pull them apart, and the next they're calling each other names that'll make even the most vulgar comedians blush. Either way, I didn't wanna deal with her.

"I'm not going to April's crazy ass, no offense," I said, "Besides, she be taxing."

"It's the only way man," Marcus said, "I love ya bruh, but I just got this scholarship, and I'm not risking that for you, my momma, or a collection of the original Teen Titans in the 80's".

I just sighed and thought about it for a second. "Fine, I'll ask her about it after school."

"Nah, she's helping me with a robot," he said, "Come to my garage tomorrow after school and bring the cupcakes, she'll be there".

"Thanks man," I said.

"That is, if she doesn't ditch me to hang with her friends," Marcus muttered before going back to his Gir drawing.

When I got home that day, I overheard my parents arguing and screaming like that song We Cry Together. It was something about my Dad sleeping with a co-worker and forgetting my Mom's birthday. I'd just wish they would shut the hell up and get divorced already. I went in my room and half-heartedly did my homework while Aqua Teen was in the background. But I just couldn't stop thinking about the prank. A million thoughts were rushing my head -- is it gonna go right, will we get caught, will it be funny, what unexpected problems should we prepare for? We were days away from turning something we long joked about into a reality. Sure, it wasn't the exact plan, but it would still be something to laugh about and tell our kids in the future. And hey, who doesn't like cupcakes?