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 |  Blog for this groups entries~will probably be rather interesting!~ |
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I am going to try out the Welcome To My Reality contest and this is my blog for all of my entries. Each entry will be based off of a different prompt! I am looking forward to doing this! This may be interesting!! |
| 17. Name one situation in your life or that of a family member or close friend that seemed insurmountable, but was indeed overcome, and how it was overcome. Just ONE? Wow....there have honestly been SO many times in my life that I have thought, "OMG I am never going to get through this"....but I have. I would say one that is a BIG one, was having Raegan. Having a 26 week micro preemie, surgery after surgery....being told 3 times that she was not going to make it and that I should make arrangements...dropping to my knees, broken so many times...yet she would pull right through. Sitting by her tiny little bed everyday for hours and hours..I had 2 other kids at home and a failing marriage going on during all of this as well. I would go to the hospital and sit there, staring at her with all of her tubes and machines...watching as she showed that while she may have some physical problems..there was nothing wrong with her development..she had the sweetest, most expressive eyes and because she had a trach she could not speak, she used her eyes to "talk" a lot..as well as I taught her sign language..did not hear her voice till she was 4 years old and got the trach removed. Raegan will be 13 this July, she still has to be cathed to drain her bladder and she has future surgeries and unknown outcomes as to if she will ever be able to urinate on her own or if she will always have to be cathed. There were so many times that I truly thought I was going to lose my child...I watched her have 39 surgeries so far...and even though the future is still unknown...she has come a LONG way from where she started! I have never been as scared in my entire life as I was when I had Raegan...and even though she has had such a rough life so far, she has the best personality...she is caring and kind, thinks about others and so smart...Oh don't get me wrong, she can throw a fit with the best of them LoL We overcame this by being strong and believing that Raegan was put here for a reason...a big one! And here we are, almost 13 years later...trucking right along in life! She is my miracle!  |
| 16. Who had the greatest impact on your life, in a positive way, and why? Hmmmm...there are a few people that I can think of that have made a positive impact on my life....and even more that have made a not so positive impact... However....I must say that Raegan, my youngest daughter, has had the biggest and most positive and life changing impact on me. She was emergency c-section at 26 weeks...weighed 1 pound and 10 ounces...she was a micro preemie who spent the first 10 months of life in the nicu...she came home with a trach, feeding tube and stoma that we cath to drain her bladder. She has had 39 surgeries with more to come in the future. She will be 13 years old this July. She is my hero...she had no idea what life had to offer and she fought so hard to be here. For all that she has gone through and goes through on a daily basis, she has an amazing personality and outlook on life, she is so caring, kind and thoughtful. At Christmas time she came to me and asked me to help her put something is everyone's stockings...she had taken the time, on her own and her own idea, to write everyone a sweet little note and it was so thoughtful. We have no idea what the future will bring but we will make it through no matter what. She has taught me to look at life in a whole different way, to not take things for granted, to stand up for what I believe in and how to be a stronger person. She truly is an amazing little girl who has made the biggest impact on my life in the most positive of ways! |
| 15. What has been the best purchase of your life? It was a year and a half ago, on July 2nd, when my youngest daughter Raegan and I were on our way to pick my fiance Steve up from work. We were running about 30 minutes early so I decided that we would swing by the animal shelter....simply just wanting to kill some time. We go in and go to the back and all the dogs are barking and it is so loud that Raegan kind of gets nervous so we start making our way back to the front so we can exit. As we get to the door, to my right is 4 cages, in the top right is the dirty, long tangled hair, matted raggedy looking little dog. She walked to the door of her cage, made eye contact with me and rested her head against the cage....my heart flip flopped...I was instantly drawn to this little dirty dog with the most loving eyes I have ever seen. We have the lady get her out and we take her up front where it is more quiet...I sit down on the floor and this dog climbs into my lap instantly. Raegan and I are petting her and asking the lady who works there what the story was on her. They said she was found running the streets and that she was 3 days away from being put down. I asked why, and they said that since she was older, 3-4 years old, and that they were over ran with animals, they only held older, mixed breed basically mutt dogs for a certain amount of time...and this dogs time was almost up. They closed at 5pm which is when I was supposed to pick Steve up, so I convinced her to stay open so I could go get him and bring him to see her...I needed him to see her and hopefully fall in love like I did and let me have her! Raegan and I zoomed to pick him up right away! On the way Raegan said that if we are allowed to have the dog that we should name it Zoey..hmmm...it kind of just fit...so I picked Steve up and zoomed back to the shelter. He came in and come to find out the lady who runs it is a close friend of his! Yay I thought LoL...so they brought the dog out and Steve was petting her, you could tell she had been through a rough time in her short life. It took him one time of looking over at this dog sitting in my lap just staring up at me in awed love and he started filling out the paperwork to adopt her! I had no idea how much I needed her, and oh how she needed me. ZOEY, is my best friend, my furbaby...I talk to her all the time about everything lol she is the best listener...she goes kayaking, fishing, road tripping, rafting, camping...everywhere we go, she goes! She is always by my side no matter what...as I type this right now, she is laying right next to me snoozing away! Come to find out that the name Zoey supposedly means "Life"...hmmm rather ironic don't you think...we saved her life 3 days before they were going to put her down and her name means life..and she has changed mine so much. She is like a therapy dog to me, she knows when I am down and need her...she will comfort me and she can sense things. She is the best dog ever, she listens and is so smart and catches on to things quick. We can tell that she had a rough life before us..she is terrified of gun shots, fireworks, thunder, bonfire crackling, loud machines, nail guns...we think that someone tied her up to a tree or doghouse outside and she was around all that stuff and basically tortured. She has gotten a lot better as time has passed some, she knows that we would never hurt her or hit her...it took her awhile before she didn't freak out when I pulled out a hanger to hang a shirt while doing laundry....she was scared as if she thought I would hit her with it...after awhile though she has learned that life with us is NOTHING like what she went through. We love her and spoil her rotten..I even carry around a pop up dog bowl and a bottle of water in my purse with me at all times Ha Ha!! ZOEY was the best thing that I ever spent money on...and it was the best $70.00 I have ever spent!! |
| 14. What was the most awkward thing that happened to you this week? We live on a busy main road in our town, and the speed limit is 55mph on the road and where we live there are only 3 houses, we are the middle one. Down the road is the tiny little police station and on the other side of our neighbors is a Dollar General....so as you can tell...there is constant traffic and people going by. I went to leave earlier to go pick up my oldest daughter and give her a ride to her house from work right at 4:45..ya know...right when Friday rush hour is starting...so I get my coat on, tell my furbaby Zoey that I will be right back and I open my front door...take a step out and Whoosh...I was doing that "OMG crazy, I'm about to fall and bust my ass HARD" dance..trying to regain my balance so that I did not fall. See, I tend to fall every winter...I thought this was it and I was going down...but nope..my crazy arm waving and legs shaking dance saved me from falling. Thankfully cause I do not think that with the back problems that I am having that I could handle a fall right now! So as I am regaining what's left of my composure and dignity, I look up to see that there was stopped traffic as people were turning into the Dollar store and I am 99% sure that this dude was laughing his ass off in his truck at me....so um yea...Yay I didn't fall but dang I bet I looked super goofy!! What made it even worse was that once I started to walk again I about slipped again walking to my truck! I am sure that had I gone down that there would have been several people entertained on the road by watching me do stupid people tricks for them! Ha Ha It is funny because our house is not right up on the road and we have a big backyard, with only a neighbor on each side, it feels a lot more isolated then I suppose we are. The traffic on the road I thought as first would be so hard to deal with but actually, inside you don't even hear it at all and it is really quiet around our house...so sometimes I forget just how major of a road we are on and the fact that people passing have plenty of chances at catching me doing something dumb like falling! |
| 13. Flick through a dictionary and pick a word at random (or use the random word picker on a dictionary website) and relate it to the events of your day. Alternatively, choose one word to sum up your day and tell us why it is so appropriate. I used the random word picker and it came back with the word "need".....hmmmm.....well it is easy to relate that to the events of any one of my days in life. I am constantly in need of so many things...more time..more energy...more sleep..less stress...more money...better health...on and on I could go. However today I am in need of finding a cheap tv that I can hook up in the spare room for when I am in there working...I like to have it on in the background, it helps to distract the chaos in my head enough to allow me to work freely...if that makes any sense at all lol So if the one that we had in the attic does not work then we will be going to the local pawn shop to see about getting a cheap one. I am alone a lot so I think that I like the background noise for that reason as well...who knows...but all I know is that is my "need" for the day LoL A word that I could use to sum up the day so far would have to be multi-tasking! I am doing several things at once and so is my fiance and friend that is here...working on our projects..everyone doing a couple different things each...busy multi-tasking peeps that we are! Ha Ha |
| 12. Some say that crying is a sign of weakness. What are your thoughts on the matter? Crying....ahhh I used to hold in tears...I have learned now that they are a release and cleansing of my heart, body, mind and soul. Especially when my Dad just passed away...the tears poured for days and now, almost 3 months later, they randomly will just pop up... Some see it as a weakness perhaps because they themselves are to afraid of letting their own emotions out. Feeling as if they do they will be viewed as weak, yet not realizing the damage and pain they are causing by holding everything inside all the time! It will eat you up if you let it! I used to not let mine out...I really do not know why I used to HATE crying and I would be so mad when I did...now I have learned that it is OKAY to cry sometimes... Now...with that being said...I am not a OVER emotional person either...I am very guarded with my emotions and what, who and how I show them to. I am guarded with who I trust as well, because honestly, those are the people that will probably see me cry. I sometimes am surprised the times that I get teary and want a good cry...I guess because I am not a girly girl Lol But as I am learning and growing, bettering myself step by step...I am opening up a little more each day. Losing my Dad forced me into the shock then grief process suddenly and forcefully....Raging and flooding me with emotions and tears. It sometimes makes me angry that I cannot stop them, but I never think that it makes me weak at all. And anyone who does think that, honestly....can kiss my ass!~ Ha Ha!!  |
| 11. Is there something that you now enjoy (a thing or an activity) that you never thought you would? As I have said before, I lived a VERY sheltered life growing up and was not introduced to very many things. I have never been a outdoor type of gal...skeeters seem to eat me up..BUT...about 6 or 7 years ago me and a few friend went on what was supposed to be canoeing but we ended up having to take single person kayaks because the river was high...so we all decided we would try it. I was scared to death at first..thinking I will tip..I have a dumb fear of floaters (aka dead bodies or body parts) popping up in the water..then after about 20 minutes, I found myself relaxing and totally loving kayaking! I NEVER thought I would be someone who would do something like that after the way I was raised.but OMG I freaking love kayaking! Steve, Jason (my friend/Steve's nephew who is 39 years old) and I go every summer...normally go 3-4 times a month if possible...basically every other weekend when the sperm donor has the kids lol However we have taken the kids before, my oldest is not into it but my 15 year old son and my 12 year old daughter loved it soooo much!! So now I think I have created mini kayak addicts lol It is awesome to just float along..get some sun..nature looking so beautiful..seeing critters..relaxing and just literally chilling out..there are all these "islands" as well call them where we will stop at and eat lunch or just relax and we find so many amazing fossils and rocks....I have a HUGE bucket full of all of our findings!! It is my favorite thing to do...but with my health sometimes it is hard for me to do...thankfully we have a raft so I can just kick back and not have to do a thing..Steve and Jason paddle and me and my furbaby dog Zoey just relax and enjoy the ride lol I am so glad that I stepped outside my comfort zone and tried this out all those years ago....I love it so much and now that I am talking about it..it makes me wish for summer even MORE! Hurry Up!!~ I am ready to hit that water and so is my kayaking dog Zoey! She loves to go with us!! |
| 10. Have you ever discovered you'd been doing something the wrong way all your life, or you'd been wrongly informed about something for a long time? Tell us about it. These prompts can be taken in different ways...I am sure some people will write about doing something physical wrong or using an object wrongly...I think I shall dive deeper into it...I mean this is supposed to prompt us to write about what we feel regarding the prompt questions right?! Well...here I go... I was raised being wrongly informed...about so many things that trying to write about it all would take me years...one thing that stands out more then other right now though is being wrongly informed about things about my dad all my life... I was told he never called...didn't write...cancelled weekends....blah blah..In the past 2 to 4 years I have learned that was not true at all. That my dad DID call, and was told he could not talk to me...He DID write..I never got them...He DID try to get me and was told no...but I never knew. So a large part of my life was spent with me resenting my dad for these things... I sit here crying now as I type this...I feel cheated and angry...I JUST found all this out and was on the road to really having the father daughter bond that I always wanted...I have always been a Daddy's girl..even when I resented him...maybe because I resented Satan (aka my mom)...and now that I know all of this information, I have yet to confront her about any of it...someday I hope to. For now I am grieving the loss of my dad...we were getting to such a amazing place in our lives and with our bond..and boom....he is gone. And I am left here to deal with the lies, abuse and deceit from Satan....till the day comes..and it will...that I will step up, not be afraid, and I will tell Satan exactly what I know and how I feel and I may end up walking away forever after I say what I want to say...maybe that is why I cannot confront or stand up to her now...I am afraid of walking away forever and being left with no parents, no family at all other then the one I have made....and that may end up being the perfect choice. I just know that the day is going to come when I tell the fear to shut up, and I tell her how it really is and how it is going to be and if she doesn't like it..well then she can walk away herself... So yea...I have been wrongly informed, lied to for almost 38 years now...but thankfully my dad informed me CORRECTLY...now the ball is in MY court... Game On... gardengirl and Patrece ~  you both give me the strength to write about these things and get it out. Thank you...I am getting stronger and your undying love and support it what keeps me going! Love you both! |
| 9. Tell us about your dream job, and what it would take for you to get it Well of course I want to get my books written and published and be a well known famous author LoL To be able to write these books that I want to write, get them out there and HELP people. Have people pick up MY book, be able to relate and them feel like someone out there knows what they are dealing with! I want to be able to help people..no matter what.... I would also love to start my own business that is a multi variety of things...I want to make things to help special needs kids with trachs and stomas, I want to make artificial flowers for headstones and decor, organizing and cleaning and who knows what else I could do! I would love to be paid to help people organize, houses, crafts, offices, whatever...I love to organize and clean so it would be fun for me! And my flowers...well I am working on doing those now as well as some wood crafts that we will be selling in a few months. I have always been told that I could and should be a comic or talk show host because of how freaking blunt, honest and real I am! Dreaming however, as though it was a possible thing, I would DREAM of working with dolphins every day of my life if I could. That would be a true DREAM! Something like training them at sea world or somewhere like that, being able to work with them everyday would be so amazing. I love dolphins, they are beautiful and so smart...they are free and happy...just the way I want to be!' But most of all my dream job, is to be happy in life! That is what we all want right? Just to be happy in life no matter what it is we are doing. Be happy with ourselves and with our life. |
| 8. How do you cope with grief? Well this is a good one to answer for me right now I suppose....I just lost my dad almost 3 months ago...I lost my grandfather, his father, when I was 10 years old. I have never gotten over losing my grandfather, he was my best friend and thought that I had hung the moon, just as I thought the same of him. I have grieved for my grandfather for over 17 years now..and I just lost my dad..OMG...I feel broken, lost, alone, angry, hurt, scared...every emotion possible! It has shaken me to my core losing dad. I was in shock literally till just recently...I have finally started to move into grief instead of shock..although that shock will come out of nowhere once in awhile and smack me in the face like "OMG Your Daddy is gone, forever!"....like a punch in the gut. I miss him beyond words could ever express. I know that my grandfather has always been with me through life and still is...and so is my dad now to. My grandfather has watched over me, shown me signs and helped me in life...he showed me a sign the day I got the news about my dad. I know some people do not believe in this type of thing and that is just fine..but I know better! I have had wayyyy to many experiences to NOT believe. I am learning how to process my grief over my grandfather and my dad at the same time, yet I feel like I will never have closure....I will grieve for them always...they live on forever in my heart and my memories. They are by my side always and I can feel them here with me, their presence known. I miss them both so much...I truly still have trouble as I write this, saying that I just lost my dad...that throws me right back into that shock feeling...How I wish I had one more day with them both...there is so much I want to know and say... But I will be thankful that I have them here by side to still continue to help guide and support me in life. I know that they are proud of me and that means the world to me. Another tear jerking prompt today! |
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