Hey, my name is Kristi and I am a guest judge for the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of "Leaving It All on the Page" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish! Good Luck!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
I first would like to thank you for entering your work in this contest! Now, I will tell you what I think of your entry. It is superb! Stupendous! It is a perfect work of art! I am not exaggerating when i tell you that I had goosebumps from the beginning to the end. You have an amazing ability to evoke the senses with your colorful, descriptive, living words. I have to admit, though, that I was wanting more. I did not want it to end when it did. I also would have enjoyed learning about your first inspiration to write.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
The only suggestion I would have would be to give the reader more. But that is because I am greedy when it comes to artistically written pieces! I did not find any spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes, nor did I find any typo's!! AWESOME JOB!
OVERALL OPINION
Overall, if you haven't already figured out, I loved this write! Thank you for sharing it with all of us here at WDC. I appreciate the opportunity to read works such as this. Please do us all a favor -- Never let the ink in your pen run dry! For that would be a definite tragedy!
Once again, thank you for entering this in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
I am delighted to offer you my review of your short story, "The Required Pain and Suffering" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
This is a wonderfully written short story full of moments of riveting fear. It is proof that what goes around comes around. This story conveys a bittersweet message and
contains a mixed element of grief and satisfaction.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
I have only a couple of suggestions.
I watch My palm turn white as I bend my fingers back. "My" should not be capitalized.
tighter around sleeves of my sweater. Should "the" be inserted before "sleeves"?
“Come on, your the only family he has left,” "your" should be "you're"
OVERALL OPINION
Overall, I think this is a great short story with a strong message. I enjoyed reading it as it held my attention throughout the entire piece. I was slightly confused when the mother asked about wrecking the car. It kinda came from nowhere with no warning that any time had passed. After reading that part a couple times and then continuing with the rest of the story, I finally figured it out. I appreciate having had the opportunity to read this and I am looking forward to reading more of what you have to offer! Thank you for sharing!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
I am delighted to offer you my review of your piece, "I Wish You Were Here" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
This is an awesome writing that depicts a strong yearning of love. Your descriptive style is perfect; not too much, not too little. The metaphors are very good and clear and most of all, realistic. There are only a couple of suggestions I have for you.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
I waited patiently for you thinking that someday you will also feel for me, the way I feel for you and come to my rescue. Will should be would since the sentence begins by using the past tense. Also, the comma is not necessary.
soft caress of your lips on mine, gives me goose pimples. The comma is not necessary.
I spent the day, walking with you, holding hands. Neither commas are necessary.
My shoulders refused to describe me the feeling of having made you fall asleep. I am confused by this sentence. First, I would include the word 'to' between 'describe' and 'me'. I had to read the rest of the sentence several times to understand. It is written correctly, I think, but I would suggest arranging the words differently to make it "easier" to read and understand.
I want to bring smile on your face whenever you feel sad. I would consider changing 'bring' to 'put' or 'place' and then include 'a' before 'smile'.
OVERALL OPINION
Overall, I like this piece because it is a nice change of pace; a different way of presenting the desire that we, as humans, have all experienced at least once in our lives. I like the inclusion of a dream and how you entwined that into the plot. I commend you on a job well done! I am anxious for your next submission and I thank you for this one!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
I am delighted to offer you my review of your memoir, "Bedpans, Bingo and Blackjack - Chapter 1" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
This is a nice memoir that you have decided to share with us. Actually, it is a nice portion of a memoir, with more to come! The title is truly a winner! It is up to me to speculate, at this point, the rest of the story and the title gives me just enough to make me want more! Not to mention it is very catchy and quite comical! I noticed just a few small technicalities, that if corrected, would enable the substance of the story to stand out much more!
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
few months of 2008 in nursing home. I think the word "a" is missing between 'in' and 'nursing'.
Being very tired, I was quickly heading The tenses in this sentence switch back and forth making it a bit difficult to read. I would suggest: "Being very tired, I quickly headed back to the bedroom..."
Crawling over to one of the upholstered chairs in attempt to I believe "an" is missing from between 'in' and 'attempt'.
What a site ! Should 'site' be "sight"?
how much television can one watch. I think you are asking a question here so a question mark is needed.
in a bed by the door of one of floors. I am not exactly sure what you meant to say; it could be a couple of different things. Maybe: "...one of 'the' floors"?
OVERALL OPINION
I can't wait until the next chapter, or completion, is ready and submitted for me to read. I am past the bedpan and ready to play Bingo!! I enjoyed reading this portion of your memoir, although I am terribly sorry for your "crippling" accident. Maybe next time, you will make it more a point to attend that Chanukah party! Only kidding, but I can just see the Rabbi now, looking at your right leg and shaking his yamaka covered head! Thank you for sharing one of your personal experience with us. I am looking forward to reading the rest of this memoir!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Painted Pink" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
This is a very good poem but I am not so sure it contains the right message for a broken heart poetry contest. Maybe I missed something. I couldn't find any inference of grief, or sorrow, or pain.
RHYTHM/RHYME
The rhyme is intentionally not a factor of this poem and the rhythm is very nice to follow.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
There is not one spelling error or typo in this piece. Very good job!
WHAT I LIKED
Well, I liked the entire poem, just not for a broken heart themed contest.
FAVORITE PART
Painting my flesh flush
IMPROVEMENTS
There are no needed improvements for this piece. It is a very good poem.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Tristan" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
Perfect depiction of a broken heart! Very good poem telling the exact feelings and asking the exact questions of the heart.
RHYTHM/RHYME
Both rhythm and rhyme are very good and don't seem to be forced.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
On the third line of the first stanza, "shinning" should be "shining". On the first line of the third stanza, "i" should be "I" as you have it throughout the poem. Also, on the third line of the third stanza, "dispare" should be "despair".
WHAT I LIKED
I like how you went through the motions of the day without the one you love.
FAVORITE PART
I open my window and I hear the ocean roar
and then it hits me and I fall to the floor
IMPROVEMENTS
Other than the few items I mentioned above, I can find no other suggestion for improvement.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "My Sunday Boy" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
I really like this poem. It seems like you put alot into it and thought it out very well. Only, I didn't detect a broken heart! Instead, I saw a girl that was happy and relieved. Not that I thrive on people having broken hearts; it's just the theme for this contest. But a great poem nonetheless.
RHYTHM/RHYME
The rhyming is very good and does not appear to be forced. The rhythm is good for the most part. There is one spot that didn't flow with the rest. I will mention it below under "Improvements".
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
I did not notice one error! AWESOME!!
WHAT I LIKED
I like the cocky attitude that is present in this piece! Cocky, independent and confidant! Three ingredients for success.
FAVORITE PART
You were my Sunday boy, but I was your Friday gal.
I thought you were my heaven, but you turned that to hell
IMPROVEMENTS
As I made mention above, the second line of the third stanza is a bit long. I would suggest omitting "Truth is" to make that line flow with the rest. Other than that, this poem is fine as is!
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging ""My Love"" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
This poem sounds like it is right in the middle of a heartbreak. I could actually feel the pain as I read it. Perfect material for this type of contest!
RHYTHM/RHYME
I think that the rhythm is fabulous from start to finish! The rhyming scheme was not one that I recognize, but I don't know them all. I did some research to become familiar with the scheme you used, but was unable to find anything. I would love some insight if you feel inclined to offer!
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
This poem consists of no misspelled words. BRAVO!!
WHAT I LIKED
Like I mentioned previously, I like the fact that this is not written in the past tense; it is right in the middle of the heart breaking.
FAVORITE PART
And upon my bed;
said things unheard.
IMPROVEMENTS
The first two lines of the third stanza don't seem to fit in with the rest of them. "But in all that is said, and ever will." I don't understand the meaning of these two lines. Is something missing?
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Love's Bitter Pill" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
This is a very nice poem about a heart that has been broken. It appears to be well thought out and from the heart.
RHYTHM/RHYME
The rhythm and rhyme are very good. However, the rhyming of the first two lines of the first stanza is off just a bit. The only reason that it is noticeable is that all of the others rhyme perfectly. Nonetheless, a good job!
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
I absolutely love it when a piece is free of spelling mistakes such as this! Awesome job!
WHAT I LIKED
I like the obviousness of this piece being from the heart. The reader is able to feel the emotions in which this was written. Great job!
FAVORITE PART
And then I watched it slip away,
like darkness steals away the day.
IMPROVEMENTS
The first line of the fifth stanza sounds a bit odd with "the" not being included between "In" and "future". I would consider omitting "though" and adding "the". Besides that, there is nothing I would change about this poem.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "The Tomb" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
Until I visited your port, specifically the folder containing poems "...borne of miscarriages", I was stumped as to the message you were delivering. After visiting, the message became crystal clear, as well as the broken heart. I feel that I must add, briefly, that I detect no selfishness in this writing; only the true hopeless anticipation that you endured. I had already decided on a rating before I visited your port, at which time the rating changed. I sincerely hope that this did prove to be therapeutic for you.
RHYTHM/RHYME
Neither rhyme nor rhythm are factors in this poem.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
Not one error!! Bravo!!
WHAT I LIKED
I like the fact that this piece is based on pure reality and proves that a broken heart comes from many places besides the ending of a love relationship between a man and a woman.
FAVORITE PART
I am a tomb of flesh and blood
sealed tightly,
waiting only the tedious
passing of hours
'til death's last duties be discharged.
IMPROVEMENTS
I have no suggestions for improvement. This poem should be left just as it is.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Hi! My name is Kristi and I will be judging "Springing" for ~A BROKEN HEART POETRY CONTEST~
THE POEM
This poem is written very uniquely! Short and sad, but to the point.
RHYTHM/RHYME
Rhyme is not a factor in this poem. The rhythm, as I stated before, is quite unique. Very nice change of pace from the ordinary.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
Both the spelling and grammar aspects are error free!! Bravo!!
WHAT I LIKED
I like the fact that I can't tell if the speaker is male or female. I believe the confusion to be intentional. I read this poem, analyzing it, several times in order to determine the gender of the speaker. The reason I like this confusion is that it could go either way as well as both!
FAVORITE PART
Actually, I don't like any one part more than the other. I like the entire thing!
IMPROVEMENTS
No improvements necessary.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
The message within this poem is unique; one that is rarely written about, although it exists in many love relationships. For me, other than physical abuse, there is nothing worse than the silent treatment. Communication is vital for a relationship to work.
RHYTHM/RHYME
Your chosen style of delivering this poem was a bit difficult for me to read as far as rhythm and rhyme are concerned.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
Impeccable spelling! Proper grammar and poetic grammar are so different as far as rules are concerned. In poetry, much leeway is given to the author (poet). Therefore, your chosen grammar is fine.
WHAT I LIKED
I like the fact that this poem discusses the issue that led to a broken heart instead of just discussing the broken heart.
FAVORITE PART
i still wonder what is said
with the very silence itself
for even silence says much
beyond the spoken word
though not realized as such
IMPROVEMENTS
As I stated earlier, the style made it difficult for me to read, but I don't know how that could be changed without changing the entire poem and I do not suggest changing the entire poem. Other readers may be able to read it without any trouble.
Thank you for entering your poem in the contest. I wish you the very best of luck!!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
I am delighted to offer you my review of your poem, "Poem: You Are My Rock" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
I like this! It is full of energy and the flow has a certain dance beat to it. It is short, sweet and to the point; no guessing involved, no hidden meanings.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
It could be intentional, but the first three lines have no punctuation whereas all of the other ones do. ?Maybe? insert a comma or two?
FAVORITE PART
My gentle Midnight Fragrance,
My Morning Cup of Tea
OVERALL OPINION
My overall opinion of your poem is a good one. This was very easy to read and the optimism you feel shines through brightly! Thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the good work!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
I am delighted to offer you my review of your short story "Underestimate Me" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
This is very good! You make good use of a very extensive vocabulary and your spelling and grammar are perfect! The imagery created was very vivid. One spot caused me a slight bit of confusion, but that could just be the way in which I read it. When the phone rang and he didn't answer, it was unclear to me as to who was doing the thinking. At first, I thought it was the girl in bed with him. But, like I said, I could have just been reading it wrong. I think that the descriptive nature of the whole story is a bit strong, taking away from the plot.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
The only suggestion I have is to maybe tame the descriptions just a bit in places. To me, the over emphasis was slightly distracting.
OVERALL OPINION
Overall, I really like your short story. I like the subject that you chose to write about and I particularly like your exactness. My favorite aspect of the whole piece is that I did not notice the first typo or misspelled word. Your punctuation is accurate as well as all the other major grammatical rules. I really appreciate the professionalism behind your writing!!! Thank you very much for providing us with a very well thought out story to read.
Wow! This is really, really good!!! I was just checking out some entries to see what kind of competition I was up against. This is very impressive, as well as you are! Keep up the awesome work. This is sure to be a winner!!! Always remember to NEVER let the ink in your pen run dry!!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
and the "Invalid Item" . I am delighted to offer you my review of your short story, "Forest Dreams" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
Wow! If I had an imagination such as yours I would be a millionaire! Your descriptions are so vivid that they come alive. For a few seconds I was sure that I heard a rustle in the bushes!
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
Tending to his wounds, he winced His gash hurt. Did you mean to end the sentence after 'winced'?
The second arm-- a rotting stump, with long strips of meat and red hanging and swaying. This sentence confuses me.
The slime dripped onto the and dirt. Does 'and' belong?
when he heard the sound of bushes What sound of bushes? Rustling? Rubbing against a tree? Being trampled on?
You had me worried when just you ran off like that! Did you mean 'you just'?
I won't try any more. I am not one hundred percent positive, but I think 'any more' should be 'anymore'.
OVERALL OPINION
Overall, I was quite impressed with your detailed descriptions that caused images to come alive in my mind. For a minute I thought I was reading a Stephen King short story! Thank you for sharing your talents with us. I will be watching to see if any additions to the story are introduced.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
and the "Invalid Item" . I am delighted to offer you my review of your story beginning, "my paradise" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
This is very nice so far. You are wanting to know if you should continue or chunk it, I say please continue! You made me journey out to a secluded area of the beach where I could almost, but not quite, smell the taste of salt in the air!
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
The first paragraph may be just a bit too long. Generally, but not always, the first paragraph is supposed to be short and concise - just enough information to attract the reader and make them want more. This is only a suggestion.
...only these ones were more distinct. 'these' needs to be omitted.
As more things bacame apparent... 'became'
...unfathomable distance in the sky I realized... I would insert a comma after 'sky'.
OVERALL OPINION
I am quite certain that if you kept going with this, that you would end up with an extremely good book! You should never doubt yourself and once you get started keep going until you just can't possibly go any further. Don't stop to ask yourself, or anyone else, about the current worth because it makes it that much more difficult to start back again. So, pick that pen back up, or grab your wireless keyboard, and get busy! I think you will be surprised at how well the results will be liked by you and most everybody else!! I will be sure to be watching for new additions!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
and the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of your piece, "A Powerful Idea " . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
One question that I usually ask myself when reviewing is whether or not the first paragraph successfully provoked me to continue reading to the second. I would say that about half of them do and out of that half, maybe a quarter of them convince me to read further in a very professional and powerful manner. The first paragraph in this piece falls under the very professional and powerful group! Styled and worded very gracefully! Another question I tend to ask is whether or not the item still had my attention at the mid-way point. Again, a resounding yes. Your piece definitely held my attention right up to the last word.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
It’s been almost five years since I have come across that idea. And I am glad... Would this sentence sound better as, 'It's been almost five years since I came across that idea'? Also, would it be better to combine the sentence that follows to make just one?
...we don't deal with mathematics but a whole lot of ambiguities. It may sound better to include 'rather' directly after 'but'.
And this is the genesis of most of human conflict throughout ages. I think '...the genesis of most human conflict throughout the ages.' sounds a tad better. Read both aloud and see which you prefer.
Interestingly people who are most unsure... I would insert a comma after 'Interestingly'.
...that can be universally proved To me, and that doesn't etch it in stone, 'proven' fits better than 'proved'.
OVERALL OPINION
While I may not necessarily agree one hundred percent with the idea that you have proposed, I am not going to argue about it! (ha ha ha) Original, thought provoking writes such as this are absolutely my favorite. So much in fact, I could read them all day, providing I had only a couple short breaks to stretch my legs and rest my eyes. I have come across pieces that attempted to relay a certain message but, instead created more confusion for me than I had before I read it. That is not the case with this piece. This one will have me testing its theory for some time to come! I, personally, thank you for sharing this and can't wait to read more (so I hope you submit at least five new items daily! Just kidding! I will settle for three!) Keep up the awesome work and if the ink in your pen begins to run low, let me know and we will get you a newer, much bigger one!
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1389764 by Not Available.
and the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of your short story, "Abuse, My short story" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
I believe that you have taken a very important step in the process of self-recovery by writing and sharing your feelings concerning your abusive childhood. While it is very important and therapeutic, it is also very difficult and painful. You couldn't have selected a better place or a better group of people to share with than you did. So, take advantage of what the people here have to offer and couple that with your writing skills, talents and desires to rise above the painful memories and begin living the life that you are worthy of living (and not as a recluse!)
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
The second paragraph is not indented while the others are.
As a child And an adult... 'And' should be lower case.
...being to scared to speak... 'to' should be 'too'.
I know now it wasn't my falt...
I thought that I Must have done Something to
cause this to happen... Both 'Must' and 'Something' should be lower case.
...that you may think will cause... Did you mean, 'that you think may cause' or 'that you think will cause'?
OVERALL OPINION
I am very glad that you shared a piece of you with us through your writing skills. I hope as you progress further with your writings, you also progress further with your healing. I, personally, can not think of a better way to do either or both than collecting thoughts and feelings and connecting them with words to put on paper just as you have done here. I hope you continue to write, as there are plenty of people here who love to read. I am looking forward to reading more of what you have written very soon. And always remember to never let your pen run dry!
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Hey, it's me once again! On behalf of the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of your article, "The Happiness Mantra" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
The morals in which you write about are very important and your messages so full of lessons. This particular piece really caused me to re-evaluate myself and the way that I perceive certain things, such as my worth. I learned from reading this article that "worth" is non-existent if comparisons are not made. Wow! What an eye-opening realization!
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
He immediately called the Genie and ordered him to fulfill his wishes. The Genie warned the man... ...Finally he decided to ask for one more wish from genie. He asked the genie to make him blind You capitalized 'Genie' the first two times but didn't the third and fourth. Also, 'the' needs to be included before the third 'genie'.
Isn't it time we thanked god for whatever he has given us 'god' and 'he' should both be capitalized.
OVERALL OPINION
I absolutely loved this piece for all of the valuable, life-living lessons that it contains. Thank you for sharing with us your "more than obvious" wise perspectives on issues that surround us all. I have reminded you before to not let the ink in your pen run dry, but now I beg this of you. It would be quite a shame to never have the opportunity again to read your writings!
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Hey, it's me again! On behalf of the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of your article, "The Economics of Life" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
I absolutely love the book in which you have referenced! I have the hard copy as well as the e-book version! Do you know that professors now use this as the preferred text book in college economic courses? Very interesting topic you have chosen to write about with a very intelligent viewpoint! I enjoyed reading this article very much!
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
Steven Levitt in his book... A comma should be placed after 'Levitt'.
...defines Economics as... 'Economics' does not need to be capitalized.
...the existence of human being. 'being' should be 'beings'.
Economics is the one of the most important... There is one 'the' too many. I would remove the first instance.
Thus if we extend the logic A comma should be placed after 'Thus'.
But do these people really don't want anything? Grammatically speaking, this question should be: 'But do these people really not want anything?'.
Most of them seek the highest form of learning, The comma after 'learning' is not necessary because it is followed by 'and'.
OVERALL OPINION
As I said before, I really liked this article of yours. What I like the most is the way you have incorporated what is usually viewed as a monetary subject into more of a moralistic issue. Superb!!! Now, I am on my way to your next article! Thank you for sharing such a delightful and witty perspective! Always remember to never let the ink in your pen run dry!
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Hey, it's me again! On behalf of the "Invalid Item" I am delighted to offer you my review of your non-fiction piece, "Adam's Apple: A Moral Dilemma" . Please note that my method of reviewing is based on honesty first and how I hope to be reviewed second. Any suggestion I offer is for you to do with as you wish!
STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART
Another very compelling issue you have raised. I appreciate your straight forwardness that is evident throughout your writings. This is an easily read and followable piece that questions an otherwise "unquestionable" belief. I would consider placing this under the 'opinion' genre instead of 'non-fiction'. Although it is non-fiction, it is more suitable to being considered as an opinion. Just a thought and a suggestion.
SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS
Is ignorance a bliss then? I would remove 'a' to make it 'Is ignorance bliss then?'.
If we believe Bible it is. 'the' should be inserted after 'believe'.
Now you may dismiss me by saying that I am not a believer of God. But then I am not an atheist either. I would remove the period after 'God' and insert a comma converting the two sentences into one. If you do this, 'But' will have to be changed to lower case.
OVERALL OPINION
Once again, I commend you on your courage to speak out about a topic that is considered taboo in most areas of the world. You raise an interesting view and ask important, valid questions. Overall, I enjoyed reading this. You have enticed me to continue reading your works through your easily read style. Remember, never let the ink in your pen run dry!
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Now, I will tell you what I think of your entry. It is superb! Stupendous! It is a perfect work of art! 
Love
