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184 Public Reviews Given
197 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Worduko  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Too bad all instruction manuals can't be as entertaining to read. Nice piece and informative too. Thanks
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A very interesting Poll. The compelling thesis is well presented save for some concerns regarding the voice of the main character moving back and forth from the first to the third person narrative and some minor typo's. FYI I personally chose to change `Nothing' on the poll for the reasons stated by your second character that your outward appearance is only a vehicle tool your Spirit being is given to gain insight unto itself. If one changes only to serve the ego they have not realized this lesson though to change in order to elucidate and comprehend what affect the change serve to have as a lesson to Spirit, then there is merit in doing so.

Keep writing..in fact you may want to look at this as a short story because it has all the makings of an intriguing sci-fi. If you are not aware explore an old TV episode of the 60's: The Twilight Zone that dealt with such mind questions as yours. In fact there is a specific episode that deals with exactly your question - seek it out!
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lesson learned - don't be a sardine sandwich! lol (Thanks for the insight)
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I always wondered what bulls did as they stood there chewing their cud - insightful and entertaining I'd have to say
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Review of Clearance  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I like your style of writing.. I somehow sensed where it was going and you did not disappoint. I like it
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31
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the depth of your words. It may take me a couple of reads to close in on your message and if I can be forthright to suggest this is about 9-11, the rage and disappointment of what has followed it - the sadness and disappointment over the loss of a great country's values by the hands of those who purport to represent these values.
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Review of For Awhile  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting - all I can do is be curious as to what seed of experience sparked this creation<?>.
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Review of ???  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I might title this: `Truth's Introspective' as it seems to me a hard look at what really is going on inside and its troubling manifestation - I like the dark honesty that it projects.. well done in my opinion for being an `just the top of my head' origin (where most of the good stuff waits to be discovered and purged into words lol)
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Review of Ode to the Busker  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem. Not only in style but your observance of a moment on a busy street and the manner by which you captured as were it a photograph of a moment expressed into words - great imagery of emotion...
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Review of Road to nowhere  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the style you've chosen and the development is good - though it can be taken as `free-style' form of expression however, there are several punctuation and some spelling or possibly typo's namely: hats to stay of <off> the road as an example.

Overall an interesting read..thanks
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Review of A Bitter World  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Fear and insecurity are at the root of generational, human hypocrisy. . Will it ever change? Not likely I think. Thought inspiring poem.. good work. The rhyming pattern is random but that's ok in view of the intended message.
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Review of My thoughts  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Not much to suggest except for slight spelling and punctuation:`Tiered frustrated I become'
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Review of Your Lying Eyes  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well written. Reflective of a naive time but not lost to wisdom gained. Good read.
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Review of Love  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
No one likes to be too critical of another persons work but I have to say this is a difficult piece to understand. The opening two lines set the pace but personally, I lose it after that. I am not sure if it is the lack of punctuation but at times I am not clear on what is being said. For example: `Now the morning calls my name and like the child I hoped my sadness to be a darkened dream' It is not clear what this line represents and this occurs throughout the piece.

I know this sounds very critical and harsh but it is only intended to be constructive. We all have fallen into the same category from time to time but, it is through this type of feedback that allows us to improve our writing skills.

Keep writing as the subject of your writing(s) is very compelling and for want to be read.
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You've caught the mystery of these artifact well by your words. Good read, thanks
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A very compelling write. You illustrated the characters life both physical and emotional, in a fashion most can relate to especially with his being drawn to writing to excise his demons. Something that anyone who writes can easily identify with. This `quick' morning write illustrates your talent to capture and translate an idea/ situation into an emotional and inspiring expression. Some minor editing required but all in all a great piece.
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Review of He's listening  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
If you want my take on it when you are speaking to `God' you are in essence, introspecting i.e.: talking to your inner-being. The Bible you refer to suggests that God the Creator made Man in his own image. My translation of this is that I, we are God. Each and every living thing is God - so the answer you seek is within you to find (and maybe from time to time some external help). Each being has to find their own translation of what `God' represents to them and however that manifests - it is all good.
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Review of Funeral  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I get the sense that you are saying those who attend funerals are not as heart-felt as their outward actions may suggest however, as reader, the message is difficult to translate from the structure of what you have written. The second, third and forth stanza are most difficult to gain a picture from what you have written. They seem a bit of a disconnect from the balance of your poem. All this said, with a bit of clarifying I think you will have an excellent, expressive piece. Good work
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Review of Trapped  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Looking for a cabin in the woods? Inspiration can come from meager places, the key is to catch them while they are fresh.

If I can offer up these suggestions that may make your message clearer:

You wrote: Suggestion:
The walls close in around her
As she sits quiet in her cell
Ignoring fused loud voices Trying to ignore loud voices
Her daily living hell.

The phone rings, another voice
Demanding of her time.
When all she longs for in this life
Is peace and love and rhyme Is peace and the love of rhyme

My love, I cannot express, This love, she cannot express
With all these loud distractions
It drags me from my special place It drags her from her special place
Of wandering abstractions. Of wandering into abstractions


An inspirational and reflective piece..good work!
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a brilliant and passionate story. It is so real the question that comes to mind is it a work of fiction or are these true letters to a mother? This account of a young black man's struggle to resolve his love of country in the midst of its racial persecution, the blending of your character's real war experience interlaced with his all too real reflections of the equally brutal civil rights movement of the 60's and 70's is strong and compelling.

I read your bio and there is no doubt writing such as this, is your true calling. Excellent work.
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your writing is interesting. I must say it is quite a puzzle to know if lying is good or bad which makes the reading interesting to read to understand what your message is. Keep writing
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Review of War of lies  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The premise of your article is interesting. The exploration of the pro's and con's associated with lying is one of those topics that is open to opinion and debate. That said, I believe you should carefully re-read your article as there are several instances of confusion as to singular, plural, past, present, future tense used.

Your opening line is prime example of this: 'Lie is a way to avoid trouble, avoid happiness, avoid sadness and avoid ourselves.' I would suggest the opening line could better gain the attention of your reader: `Lying is a way to avoid trouble, happiness, sadness and, possibly, ourselves.'
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Review of Clones  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
An interesting parallel cited by your poem. I agree with the premise that we are basically a copy of the same thing with only suttle differences but to conclude the way you have I am sure would raise a lot of `eye brows'.
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Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I had to look up the word `paragon' to be sure and in so doing I think I might have titled this piece Lost For Loosing or something like that for that is what I got from your words. The dream was the vehicle but the emotion came from

`And I wondered how
I could have ever considered
that you were mine.'

Interesting piece - good work
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Review of I am ALONE  
Review by NAYKD POET
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I take it the glasses referred to are of the `rose colored' variety<?> Yes life's realities can be and typically are, harsher when not seen through colored lenses. But reality is what it is and needs to be confronted.

As to style and structure you should take a closer look at spelling, punctuation and grammar as there are a few `foibles that warrant correction. But a good piece just the same.. Good work'
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