Very well done. Your writing is smooth and provides a gentle read. The story itself is excellent. It brought back memories of my trips on the train, clickety-clack, clickety-clack. I really enjoyed this one.
This was well done dogpack. As writers we must write daily if possible, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves that 'I wrote today'
We are all writers on this site, not want-to-be writers, but writers.
I have read through several of your items and enjoyed them.
I'll be back to read more.
God Bless
I have to admit, this is quite different from the run of the mill stories I have read. It reminds me of the Twilight Zone, without the shocking end. The writing is skillfully done and keeps the readers interest to the very end. I almost forgot that moderators are also good writers, a bad habit many of us develop. Thanks for this quirky, enjoyable ditty.
Actually, I think you're onto something here. You could go in many directions. If you like history and ancient civilizations you could have your character travel to different time zones and portray the hero-god, you could travel to other dimensions and create your own civilizations, you can have your character travel the universe in search of other intelligent life, you could even have him find others like him and create a league of hero-gods, or whatever. The scenarios are endless.
Plus, you have a smooth gifted way of writing which should help in this endeavor.
Best of writing!
Hello fellow writer. Each of us joined this writing site (WDC) for various reasons, but primarily because we are writers and poets. We are not ‘want-a-be’ writers and poets, we are writers and poets. We may possess different levels of writing skill; some may be professionals, others adept and noteworthy, while still others may be testing their writing skills for the first time. Regardless, on WDC we are a band of brothers and sisters who have a love for the written word. When we post our stories, poems, etc. we expect a modicum of courtesy and hope for a bit of constructive dialogue and an unbiased, informative, and productive assessment of our creative efforts. Any writer, who reads your writing and destroys it with intentional malice, does not belong within our writing family. A final point I would like to stress, (especially for new members) is to remind you that if a writer takes the time to review your work, it is only fitting that you reciprocate by reviewing some of their writing.
Regarding my personal review of your writing, please remember that I am a fellow writer with my own significant faults, and while I am far from being the best writer or reviewer on this site, I will do my best to be open, honest, and courteous. This analysis is simply my opinion and everyone has one. Thank you - Oldwarrior.
I'll have to give you a pat on the back with this sweet little jewel Nanna. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and could find no obvious punctuation or grammatical errors. Thanks, and welcome to WDC.
Absolutely loved you play on this classic story.
I forgot that moderators were writers too, sorry I haven't read more of your work. I will do so in the future.
This little ditty was well done, easy to read, and smooth.
I really enjoyed reading it.
I am also a big fan of the Twilight Zone, and this is right down my alley.
Hello fellow writer. Each of us joined this writing site (WDC) for various reasons, but primarily because we are writers and poets. We are not ‘want-a-be’ writers and poets, we are writers and poets. We may possess different levels of writing skill; some may be professionals, others adept and noteworthy, while still others may be testing their writing skills for the first time. Regardless, on WDC we are a band of brothers and sisters who have a love for the written word. When we post our stories, poems, etc. we expect a modicum of courtesy and hope for a bit of constructive dialogue and an unbiased, informative, and productive assessment of our creative efforts. Any writer, who reads your writing and destroys it with intentional malice, does not belong within our writing family. A final point I would like to stress, (especially for new members) is to remind you that if a writer takes the time to review your work, it is only fitting that you reciprocate by reviewing some of their writing.
Regarding my personal review of your writing, please remember that I am a fellow writer with my own significant faults, and while I am far from being the best writer or reviewer on this site, I will do my best to be open, honest, and courteous. This analysis is simply my opinion and everyone has one. Thank you - Oldwarrior.
Actually, not much to say here KJ. Your writing is smooth, transitions well done, choice of words appropriate, and it has a smooth flow to it. Since it is a fantasy, I know you cannot go into a lot of detail in the first chapter. One of my books has 154 chapters and even then I tried not to give too much away in each one. I would recommend you break it down into smaller paragraphs for the readers on this site, it would make it easier to read.
Overall, well done, interesting, and I look forward to chapter 2.
Hello fellow writer. Each of us joined this writing site (WDC) for various reasons, but primarily because we are writers and poets. We are not ‘want-a-be’ writers and poets, we are writers and poets. We may possess different levels of writing skill; some may be professionals, others adept and noteworthy, while still others may be testing their writing skills for the first time. Regardless, on WDC we are a band of brothers and sisters who have a love for the written word. When we post our stories, poems, etc. we expect a modicum of courtesy and hope for a bit of constructive dialogue and an unbiased, informative, and productive assessment of our creative efforts. Any writer, who reads your writing and destroys it with intentional malice, does not belong within our writing family. A final point I would like to stress, (especially for new members) is to remind you that if a writer takes the time to review your work, it is only fitting that you reciprocate by reviewing some of their writing.
Regarding my personal review of your writing, please remember that I am a fellow writer with my own significant faults, and while I am far from being the best writer or reviewer on this site, I will do my best to be open, honest, and courteous. This analysis is simply my opinion and everyone has one. Thank you - Oldwarrior.
Actually this was well written and an enjoyable read. I could find no obvious mistakes. The subject matter was well addressed abeit with a bit of welcomed humor. The transitions were smooth and it was easy on the mind. So, with this short little review, all I an say is that I depart with "A blaze of glory."
Thanks for sharing this ed, enjoyed it. Welcome to WDC.
Hello fellow writer. Each of us joined this writing site (WDC) for various reasons, but primarily because we are writers and poets. We are not ‘want-a-be’ writers and poets, we are writers and poets. We may possess different levels of writing skill; some may be professionals, others adept and noteworthy, while still others may be testing their writing skills for the first time. Regardless, on WDC we are a band of brothers and sisters who have a love for the written word. When we post our stories, poems, etc. we expect a modicum of courtesy and hope for a bit of constructive dialogue and an unbiased, informative, and productive assessment of our creative efforts. Any writer, who reads your writing and destroys it with intentional malice, does not belong within our writing family. A final point I would like to stress, (especially for new members) is to remind you that if a writer takes the time to review your work, it is only fitting that you reciprocate by reviewing some of their writing.
Regarding my personal review of your writing, please remember that I am a fellow writer with my own significant faults, and while I am far from being the best writer or reviewer on this site, I will do my best to be open, honest, and courteous. This analysis is simply my opinion and everyone has one. Thank you - Oldwarrior.
This was well done Laurax. The writing is very smooth and the transitions make it easy to read.
The dialogue is well done and I could find no obvious punctuation errors.
There is one misused word in this paragraph
"Down bellow Kody seen" Should it be saw or noticed or noted?
Also, in this paragraph, "Down bellow Kody seen another bright.." Perhaps it should read saw?
Overall, well done and an interesting read. I look forward to reading more chapters.
Excellent. You deserve a pat on the back for this engrossing piece of work. I am no poet, but this poem gave me a chill and a smooth easy reading. You are a very good poet.
I see the 'trickster' got to you on this one. You may have been down, but the poem is excellent. I am no poet either, but this was an enjoyable piece of work.
The writing in this short story is very smooth and descriptive. The last paragraph is graphic, but, that's the way it really happens in life.
This deserves a good rating for a good write.
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