It is my pleasure to review for your item: Suede Patches
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Nice flow in your story and easy to follow
2. Strong Points: nice use of verbs to drive home description
3. Points of Improvement: none that come to mind... awesome job
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Forever, My Daughters''s
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: a beautiful breathtaking write!
2. Strong Points: Emotion and imagery our brilliant...
It is my pleasure to review for your item: To Be Known Epilogue
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Great energy in an "article" sounding write ... a broadcast nature to it. Flows well to that tune...
2. Strong Points: Nice description and intesity flowing througout. You set it up nicely at the beginning for the format of an interview style broadcst theme.
3. Points of Improvement: Work on the dioglogue part, putting quotations in proper places to note when speaker begins and ends, etc. Perhaps google script writing diologue. Great ideas though... keep it flowing!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: The Perfect Rose
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Wow, a great title -- enchanting and appealing. Makes the poem almost mysterious.
2. Strong Points: Perfect dynamics in such short phrases. Great description and a wonderful message underneath.
3. Points of Improvement: Since you have so little room to work with being this is a short write, make every single word count. I think the second line could use just a little fine tuning...even just a simple rewording for example: "In the next moment the rose will change, and so will you." -- ust makes is a little more concrete and absolute, driving the point home. Well done Tessa!
Hello Winnie! And welcome to this site--a great place to share your ideas and gain some wonderful feedback!
Swan Lake captured my attention right away--such a complelling entry in the line of your description unde the title. I think your story and idea is great--very descriptive and a nice flow overall. However, I would like to add just one suggestion that I feel would make your write much more dynamic and colorful. When you start a sentence, it helps to add the verb immediately following the subject--not in every single line because that would become boring. However, the heart of your description is generally in the "action" given.
For instance, just one line as an example..in one paragraph near the end you state: "The porch on all sides of the beach house was covered, between sitting areas, with plants…hundreds of plants." -- This sentence can be reworded like this to make it more powerful. "The porch was covered thoroughly on all sides of the beach house, every space between was engulfed with plants, between sitting areas were hundreds of plants."
Does that make sense?? See how I didn't take away from your overall general idea, but replaced some of the verbs and rearranged in just the slightest way to make it more concrete? (That was just a quick little example. You can reword it to become even better!--because you know what it is that you are really trying to say--you have the image in your head.) This is just a small area of opportunity that can help you become better and more poised as an accomplished writer.
Thanks for sharing! I look forward to seeing more from you!
Hello Michael! Welcome to Writing Dot Com! I hope you will like it here...
Wow, what a wonderful poem full of emotion and honesty. Not many people have the courage to put these feelings out there.
Way to tell it like it is and just let the thoughts flow. This is awesome writing! Keep writing and keep it flowing.
This is a great place to let the energy roll. Looking forward to seeing more from you, a fine writer indeed!
Hello Lynn! And welcome to Writing Dot Com -- a great site to let the energy flow!
I think you ask some great questions in this write, followed by some well thought out answers. Your summation at the end is brilliant!
I believe that most problems leave us with a simple choice based on attitude: choosing good over bad, light over darkness, or as you have
eloquently stated, "love over hate".
Very nicely done! I look forward to seeing more from you.
Hello Lifelane! And a big welcome to Writing Dot Com from your friends at Simply Positive!
Wow, this poem is like a stab--a soft blow to the gut. You touch on some real issues we face each day. I like your positive ending,
despite the negativity from the situation at hand. I think you have summed it up quite nicely, the bottom line that is, to just keep going and living.
It's all about attitude really.
Hello Iris Flower! Welcome WRITING DOT COM.... a wonderful community!
This is a cute poem, very inviting and open for the reader. It's a great introduction to yourself as a poet.
I like the lightheartedness in it and yet it carries depth as well, allowing all the emotions to run free.
Great job and some nice metaphors!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Crumby Steps
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A poem? The beginning of a short story?? not sure what this is...but a good start nonetheless..
2. Strong Points: Nice imagery!!
3. Points of Improvement: You ask some great questions, but you need to work on your writing skills. Expressing yourself within the "texting" society of today only takes you so far, when it comes to actual writing and literacy in the art of writing....I see a need for improvement. Your writing almost seems lazy...but easy to fix! Look at capitalization and punctuation first, then work on sentence structure.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Slow Rush
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A great title for the subject discussed
2. Strong Points:You offer balance between the descriptive words and the underlying feelings of lust that seem to be held back, supressed, wanting to come alive
3. Points of Improvement: nothing that comes to mind
It is my pleasure to review for your item: One Person Can Make A Difference
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Great questions and thoughts on pondering life and the many problems at hand.
2. Strong Points: Structure is well set. You keep in simple but state so much.
3. Points of Improvement: Ends somewhat abruptly, my suggestion would be to go on a little more. A great start, but build on this...
It is my pleasure to review for your item: I Found My Strength
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A great reflection type poem -- border line prose.
2. Strong Points: truth and insight into one's life. Wonderful title!
3. Points of Improvement: It would help strengthen your write to add punctuation, but not absolutely necessary.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Darkness of the Night
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Extremely dark and moving...
2. Strong Points: Very descriptive and powerful emotion!
3. Points of Improvement: some of the rhyme scheme starts to weaken a little toward the end, but overall nice job!
This is a great start to a good story. It just seems so short. I think you display nice imagination in your lines. There are a few mistakes in grammar. For instance, you start one of your sentences with, "Not the cold of rain or freezing wind..." You don't typically start a sentence like that. You would state the noun first and leave out the "not" or perhaps place the word later in the sentence. It may be a good idea to take a class or study basic sentence structure. This will help you become a better writer and make sense, especially if English is not your first language.
This is a great place to be to write and air out some of those emotions. I think you ask some great questions here! It's almost like a person having a little argument with themselves...but in the end you offer such hope, such encouragement. It's like a "yes, I can!" statement. This is a great write.. thanks for sharing!
River
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Love's Too Blind
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Story of loving and losing - and the drama/heartache that goes with it
2. Strong Points: Way to get the thoughts and feelings out there! This is a great start...nice emotions.
3. Points of Improvement: Continue to develop this into a poem by revising as you see new ways to state emotion or better words that would fit. For instance, when you state "colors flamed out" it may sound better stating "colors faded out" -- just because that's more what a color would do.
Hello Manixander and welcome to this site! I do hope your enjoy it and find positive feedback within!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: A Darkest Sleep
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: This reminds me of a nightmare or finding no peace in sleep but instead -- fear.
2. Strong Points: You weave quite a lot into this, lots of angels. Definitely dark and erie! Nice flow overall...your first/last stanza is particularly well stated, a great way to introduce the story/theme and end it as well!
3. Points of Improvement: Really examine what it is you are trying to say--then fine tune it. Run a few of your words through a thesauraus
and you may find it helpful in adding color and more depth to your theme. This can be especially helpful with verbs.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: The Blue Hankerchief
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a powerful and moving story!! Great title!
2. Strong Points: Your emotional appeal expressed, very real and sentimental, touches the heart of your audience!
3. Points of Improvement: Work on basic structure of writing. Sentences in places are broken, similar to broken English in speaking. You have a great idea now I would work on the fundamentals of writing. Work with a partner or english instructor to fine tune these rough spots to make it blend more smoothly following the poper grammer rules of English composition
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Promise Me
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A Love song full adoration and admiration, but also mixed with hints of anguish and hesitation -- like someone wanting to get close but a bit of fear stands in the way.
2. Strong Points: Your depth and passion is real and evident...nicely done!
3. Points of Improvement: there seems to a slight bit of disconnect in the flow of emotion. You may want to revisit this. Sometims just changing a word here and there can make all the difference. However, this is always hard to judge on just lyrics alone. Music does so much for a piece like this!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Heaven on Earth
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Great questions and some wonderful answers you state as well! What a better place we would live if more people thought this way.
2. Strong Points: Clear comparisons, easy to understand. Great imagery!
3. Points of Improvement: Work on overall rhyme and rhythym to really drive the point home. This is a great start! Just keep revising as it comes and it will flow naturally -- don't force it.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Don't Worry Mom
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a great tribute to your mother!
2. Strong Points: your emotion -- empathy and appreciate -- very well stated!
3. Points of Improvement: Build on this... these are great thoughts but think how much more you can do with it!! Expand and grow overtime, revising can be such a wonderful tool.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: I'll Try
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A sad song of anguish and all the emotions that come with letting go...
2. Strong Points: Your depth and emotion are great, one can't help but feel and understand the overall language of the poem.
3. Points of Improvement: Rhythym and overall flow could use some work. Song lyrics are always difficult to judge because it's not the same thing if you can't hear the accompainment to go along with it. However, I am a musician myself and feel some of this could use some work. I do thank you for sharing though! As stated, you put some wonderful feeling into this. keep working on it and it will only get better! This could be a great song!!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Thinking of You
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: This reminds me of a journal entry...wonderfully stated feeling.
2. Strong Points: Wonderful depth and emotion. Great words to describe the thoughts and feelings!
3. Points of Improvement: Develop this into a poem, using some sort of structure. Free verse is great and I'm not against it, but think how much more you could do with theme and structure!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Daffodils Haiku
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A Haiku on nature, but could be more to it depending on perception. It is very clear to me your interpretation of Spring and flowers blooming...
2. Strong Points: Nice build, you bring a lot of energy in the "suddenly warmer" stanza. The "quietly blooming" is a great contradiction and closing.
3. Points of Improvement: middle sentence could use revising, seems to be missing something and not in blance with the other two lines. A great effort though...
Overall Rating: 3.0
Thanks for a wonderful read! Keep writing!
-River
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Overall Impression: Nice flow in your story and easy to follow
Strong Points: nice use of verbs to drive home description
Points of Improvement: none that come to mind... awesome job
Overall Rating: 4.5