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351
351
Review of On Three Cupids  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (1.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Richard ~ Shenanigans INC.
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review. *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our "Slam Cupid" bad-poetry prompt! *Bigsmile*

I could just picture you three WDC Cupid rabble-rouses within these lines of pure Cupid puke! *Vomit*

Well-rhymed lines, very image-intense, but there seems to be a fondness of that beastly little arrow-flinger in the last verse. Yucky syrup for the reader to digest. But then, I'm pretty much a Cupid-hater, being a witch and all. I hate interference of my daily witchly duties around WDC to be interrupted by Cupid's arrows and Air-head prison! *Laugh*

Okay, the bottom line:

This poem is bad--yet has some piece of salvageable poetry-parts outside the Slamming with the Cupid sweet-stuff. *Sick* True love?!!!

I'm somewhat conflicted, here. Could it have been worse? *Think*

That's a tough one to answer because this was pretty bad!!! *Laugh*



Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




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352
352
Review of Country roads  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Moonglade. Welcome to WDC! *PenV*

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the random Read & Review. *Owl3*

My initial Thoughts:

There was something very captivating about this poem. I was drawn by the scenes you painted within my mind's eye.

Form & Flow:

This is written as a free verse poem, which I really enjoyed. I am not a huge fan of much of the rhyming poetry. I love free verse that has its own rhythm and impact by using words that hit the senses. This poem did that for me.

Observations:

"i'll" [I'll]

*Thought* Although I'm a fan of free verse, I still have my pet peeves. By not capitalizing the "I" in the several contractions of I will throughout your poem, it gave me pause, thus interrupting the free flow of the free verse. I may not be the only reviewer who got distracted by this.

Final Thoughts:

*ButterflyO* Other than the above mentioned issue, I found this poem to be rich in the natural beauty of nature and its enjoyment. A quest for city-life, although an exciting pursuit, may lack in that gorgeous backdrop that made for a wonderful art piece for the reader to enjoy.

I enjoyed your poetic canvas of words! *PaintBrush*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



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353
353
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Spiritual Dawning
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I loved watching the Jason Bourne films! *InLove*

Your poem is quite a tribute to the actress in the film. The rhythm and rhyme were well metered to make it a fast-paced, quick and quirky read.

Observations:

I am more of a free verse poet, so I do not have a great love of rhyming done in full force. I'm also not disciplined enough to learn the many forms of poetry, thus I admire those poets with the ability to do so.

Since I'm not a form poet, I can only rate a poem on how it makes me feel when I'm through reading it. Yours was an easy read, however, I did want to change a common word here and there to add impact to the poem. In other words, I feel as if some last words of a line sounded a bit strained in order to make it rhyme. But then, that's because I'm not a huge fan of over-rhyming.

That aside, you did a fine job creating an image of this woman. The reader could feel how she was admired and yet seemed to be out of his reach. There's a sense of urgency woven within the lines. *Smile*


Favorite lines:

"and a vibe that was second to none." (Love the whole "vibe" thing!)
"for I'm the great pretender." (Pretender--good strong word with impact.)

Overall, well done! *TeaGr*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
354
354
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there Odessa Molinari
This is a
GROUP
The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  . Thank you for entering! *Bigsmile*

*Starstruck* Burgh Island! What a lovely backdrop to your story. You create a sense of mystery and luxury within the surroundings of the Burg Island Hotel. I could picture the Art Deco ambience through your descriptions. Naturally, my curiosity compelled me to look it up on the internet. Very cool! *Cool* It also added to the setting of the story as it unfolded in my mind's eye.

*Thumbsup*You followed the prompt being a reporter tossed into the Roaring Twenties. The Nazi presence and timeline meshed believably.

*CheckP*I liked the strength of the time-traveled reporter and her caution about letting on she is a reporter by stating she's a "writer." Way to watch her back around some unsavory characters! *Laugh*

Observation:

"The door was thick oat." I think you meant to write oak?

*Checkg*Good job! It was fast-paced and filled with people and places that reach the reader's senses.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
355
355
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Odessa Molinari
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the November contest! *Smile*

This letter home was very touching. The Serviceman prewrote a letter home to his wife just in case he would not make it home. However, his not making it home meant that he was writing a "By the time you read this ..." letter.

*Shock2* The poor wife received the letter meaning he was killed or MIA. How heart breaking the thought of receiving such a letter on the cusp of the holidays. Very sad! *Cry*

Observations:

I caught a few Grammatical errors upon reading the story. They are simple to fine when you reread the story and are not in a holiday rush mode. *Wink*

*Thought* I would have loved to have more story line going along with the character. Perhaps some build-up to the point there is a request for the troops to pre-write a letter home as a final goodbye should it be necessary to mail.

The reader is hungry for more story. It does capture one's attention and tugs at the heartstrings. *HeartBroken*

However, you took the letter home prompt and made it work. The prompt was covered nicely and according to the rules. I loved the ending!!! *Delight*

Good job! *Bell*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


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356
356
Review of River and Swamp  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch





Hello there Mastiff
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
review. *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your story as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering! *Bigsmile*

*Rain* I loved this Southwest Louisiana method of celebrating Thanksgiving! The "house-chef" and enjoyed preparing different dishes for the feast. The only thing missing was the huge platter filled with poultry. It was slim pickings in the rainy swamp area -- not even a duck to bring down! *Duck*

*TreeCypress* Luck as it may have it brought a change for the better with the son, a shotgun and a dog. *Ha* They would have a meat platter to place on the center of the table and could also invite their neighbors down the street.

Observation:

I noticed that the narration of this story's dialect was perfectly executed. However, when the dialogue between parent and sons began, it quickly turned more colloquial with a heavy accent. The speech and sentence formation changed.

“Cut the best two or t'ree feet off the tail.” (Same narrator telling the story)

The children definitely had the colloquial speech during that exchange. It just hit me that none of that usage was used during the narrating of the story. Nothing hugely distracting to the fine story, it just made me pause and think about that point. *Wink*

Rules and Prompt were followed perfectly. *Check*

*Utensils* Alligator? But of course! *Bigsmile* The tail is wonderful. I have had it in Florida -- it tasted like pork spareribs! Moist, and delicious! *Frog*

I really enjoyed this Thanksgiving without a turkey! *No**Chicken*
Thanks again for entering the contest. *Bigsmile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
357
357
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Angel&Witch




Hello there Angelica- Happy Mothers Day!

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review. *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Thanksgiving without a turkey, contest! *Bigsmile*

Wow! Sextuplets?!! Now that's a handful-plus of babies to raise.

*Delight*I liked that they all gathered for their Thanksgiving, twentieth birthday. I cringed a little at their mom's choice of names for them, though. *Laugh* Hey, it's original!

You followed the prompt and the rules spot on! *Check*

Observations:

There were several distracting errors that made the read a bit bumpy.

"Go buy some from the store," Elk said taking off the leg of the turkey to observe how, on the inside, the meat looked uncooked yet,..." Would the woman's child command her to go to the store and buy chicken? Sounds disrespectful. She raised the sextuplets all alone after their father died when they were infants. Why didn't he go to the store himself?


Palo, their father, had died when they were just a tiny infant(s)

Now that they're older some of them became married and ha(s)[d] children.

Elk replies and then gathered everyone into the children, young and old alike. Gathered everyone into the children? (dining room?)

Those errors aside, your story has charm, filled with lovable yet quirky characters and quite a unique use of the contest prompt. *Smile*

Thank you again for entering the contest. *Cool*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
358
358
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch




"~ My First Thanksgiving Alone ~ " 

Hello there, ruwth
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your entry as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering! *Bigsmile*

*Cry* This was such a sad tale. Being only seventeen and a runaway makes for a perilous existence out there on the streets. Thankfully the youth was offered a place to stay in a couple's home.

*Frown* Sadly, the youth was by herself for Thanksgiving. Holidays can be very tough for those who are alone, and do not find the joy of those times within their hearts.

Prompt Followed:

Yes, you did indeed portray a Thanksgiving without a turkey.

Rules Followed:

All the rules were followed including the necessary words at the end of the story, "Happy Thanksgiving."

*HeartBroken* This was a heartbreaking story because not even a police officer questioned this young woman who was alone on the streets and underage.

Suggestion:

*Thought* I think there was room to slow down the pace of the story a little bit. Perhaps give the reason she felt compelled to leave home.

Conclusion:

*HeartB* Touched the heart. It makes a reader see that not all Thanksgivings are warmly met and celebrated with loved ones.

Thanks again for entering the contest. *Smile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
359
359
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Jeannie
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at the "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering! *Bigsmile*


*Laugh* This was such a charming and humorous read, Jeannie! I loved the vision of the giant Birdzilla being dropped off at your house, those many years ago, by a very proud turkey raiser. He was very generous and kindhearted, but had a tendency to overdo the growing-process on a bird. The bigger they are, the tougher they can be. Yes, smaller size does matter when working with an oven with limited space! *Ha*

The scenes of hubby and wife trying to push that huge poultry into the oven is priceless! It's the classic proof that bigger is not always better. It was definitely a visual experience for the reader playing out in the mind's eye.


Observations:

Jim helped my [me] up.


*Down*



Rules:
*Leaf2O* Short Story, 1000 words or fewer. *Check*

*Leaf2R* New entries written this month, for this prompt *Check*

*Leaf2Br* End the story with the words *Right* "Happy Thanksgiving!" *Left*

You forgot to end your story with *Right* "Happy Thanksgiving."
Why, Jeannie, WHY? *Sob*


Parting Thoughts:

Your story is humorous, and an entertaining read, especially so since it's a true story. Sounds like something that would happen at my house. *Rolling*

Good job! *Bigsmile*

Thanks again for entering the contest! *Cool*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
360
360
Review of The Lone Survivor  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there willwilcox
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Read & Review. I mean it really did pop-up, as I unintentionally hit the button. *Laugh* No matter, I figured what the heck, I always enjoy a good Olympics show.

Characters with odd characters:

Troy Kealy -- The great one. The one representing America in these future Olympics.
Warren Bost -- the previous first choice to represent, but stuck as the back-up
And assorted military officials and robots. Persons or things not to be messed with. *RollEyes*

Location, location, location:
New South Africa -- Cape Town

Superior Strength:
Troy was the lone survivor of a Mars fiasco.

Sprouting body Parts:
Yup, he was a sprouting them up down, left and right and with a 360 view. Well qualified if not over qualified as his very own humanity was at stake. *AlienGr*

Observation:

"The man’s grip could have a cracked a walnut." Doubled up on the "a."

Conclusion:

*Bug* As with all of your stories, whether human, alien or machinery, you pull your reader into the show, front and center. There's sufficient mystery surrounding the character and also, a cringy aspect of dark to horror that infuses the senses.

Good job, Bill! *BareTree3*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WW

This is one of my new sigs








*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
361
361
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello there Whata SpoonStealer
This is a
GROUP
The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering our annual Cop Shop Mystery! *Magnify*

*Rolling* Adrie, you ran this perp through the grinder at 90mph, with the quick and quirky set-up and solving done.

Entertaining Characters:

I'd say yes! Whata ya think, with Porky 5 Ohs, a food stamp defrauding ex-wife, a Librarian Killer, An officer with wet knickers, a fresh corpse -- and throw in a yellow duckie ... Whata could go wrong? *Ha*

You did the deed, solved a mystery in 19 supersonic sentences. May have a tiny punctuation issue, but it flew by so fast it got away from me. *Shock*

*Cheshire* I could just picture this mild-mannered locksmith grinning while he slipped away with the stash.

This was a wall cracking, side-splitting fun read! *Tophat*

Good job! *Toy*

Until next time--write on!

This is one of my new sigs


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
362
362
Review of Fuzzy Fun Pages  
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love these fun games and am so excited they are here for the birthday month of Pay It Forward! You do so much to uplift spirits when least expected and always pay it forward throughout the site. *HeartV*

Your folders of cNotes, Fuzzy-grams and adorable bears doing good deeds is such a fine fixture in this community, and I know so many here appreciate YOU! *Teddy*

Thank you for all your generosity including opening up these games for a month. The price of premium is costly, but we will certainly enjoy it and make it worth the cost. *HeartP*

*Hug*
WW


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363
363
Review of A Clown's Funeral  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Luis Rivera Welcome to WDC!

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because I saw it highlighted on today's Newbies Newsletter. *Smile*

*GoLucky* This is quite a humorous show you portrayed with your characters and their dialogues.

A Clown Is Dead!

*Shock* Oh, the humanities! The whole troupe saddened at the thought of their clown, Fischietto being dead. However, the clown had different plans, like planning his own funeral. I believe he actually put FUN in FUNeral! *Laugh*

Observations:

"The group head for a bed where the Dead Clown." [dead clown lay?] it seems a word is dropped here that should be here.

*NoteV* Formatting: I suggest you tighten-up the huge gap between the opening title and the beginning of the dialogue.

Parting Thoughts:

This was a fun and humorous read that pulls-in the reader's curiosity about the dead clown and those around him with big plans. *Ha*

Well done! *BalloonY*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
364
364
Review of Ready to Fall  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Beholden
I am reviewing your entry as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering! *Smile*

My Thoughts:

Interesting take on the music prompt. You painted a picture of aging and life's losses. You make the reader understand this man's loneliness and pain. It's as if we were watching his life pass-by along with him. Good way to pull the readers into the story and keep them reading more of this man's life. *CheckGr*

Location:

His home is the only place that he is, physically. He narrates his thoughts, thoroughly, thus we are taken outside the home and to other places, a neighbor's yard, work, and a bar. We travel through the years with him in his descriptive thoughts without ever having to leave the home.

Characters:

Most of the characters were part of his everyday life from years ago. The readers could picture each one of them interacting with the protagonist.

Doris: His wife who appears to the reader to be sweet, loving and caring.


Observations:

He had seven kids and couldn’t afford to work ever again. I could and a job eventually dragged me away and we forgot each other.

I didn't understand this underlined phrase. I would think with seven kids he couldn't afford not to work. Perhaps I'm missing something?

Parting Thoughts:

I found the ending to be both a little bit of satirical humor from the gentleman, as well as quite poignant. This is where he decides to face his fate, move forward and leave a life filled with ghosts behind. It gave me chills.

Well done! *Quill*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
365
365
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello there, Mara ♣ McBain

I am reviewing your entry as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thank you for entering! *Smile*

*Bird* What a lovely experience one encounters when they are free to let all the shackles of self-doubt break apart and lead to a new beginning. This is what I gleaned from this story. Ivy was reborn!

The Prompt:

*Quill* Nicely penned to give the sense of connection to the music prompt and lyrics.

Character:

Ivy was a determined author trying to get rid of her writer's block and leave all the negative forces behind her. She went through much loss and hurt by those she loved. She was on the edge of giving up but made herself revisit her past and see the good times that they held. She's strong and likeable to the reader.

Setting:

At a lakeside cabin that brought back beautiful childhood memories. Just to note, I loved the refrigerator!!! Through the eyes of Ivy, we are given a tour of the cabin that burnishes images into our minds. It was such a treat picturing the vinyl sofa where many a wet bathing suit rested. Add a loft to the mix -- pure perfection as a backdrop to begin writing again.

Observations.Suggestions?

I found nothing out of place that jumped out at me.

Conclusion:

*Rabbit2* The story is one of facing past wrongs and rising above them. She let it all go and in a dramatic "baptism" when she jumped into the water, she arose reborn within her own mind, body and soul.

Well done! *Butterfly2T*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
366
366
Review of Uncertain Paths  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, debmiller1

I am reviewing your entry as a judge at
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support
Thank you for entering! *Smile*

First Impressions:

A young man embarks on an adventure, seeking answers from a shaman. Good way to pull the reader into the story. I was curious and wanted to read more.

Character:

Natock, a Neolithic man, was trying his best to support his mother after his father was killed during a hunt for food. He seemed to do this grudgingly, as he felt the gods were calling to him to be somewhere else.

Natock's mother wanted her sone to start a family of his own. She wanted to remarry. That fact bothered her sone very much.

Setting:

This is the Neolithic age, or last phase of the Stone Age.

Observations:

Natock['s] vision zoomed down to merge with one of the hunters and looked out of the hunter's eyes - his own eyes.

He had gone [on] a three day journey toward the new day.

Natock lowered his spear, accepted the neckless [necklace], and put it on.

Parting Thoughts:


This was an interesting take on the music prompt. I liked how Natock pulled himself together and decided to forge ahead with his life and become his own man. He hoped one day he would have followers. The good thing to remember is that he did indeed have the gods on his side and a protective charm to keep him safe on his adventures.

Well done!*Bird*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review. *Angelic*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
367
367
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Hello PureSciFi

I am reviewing your item as a judge for
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support
Thank you for entering! *Smile*

This was an interesting take on the music prompt. I actually didn't know what to expect about the strange goings on at the old house. But then, I do like a good haunting.

Imagery:

The children playing tag was such a natural thing. Kids will find a place to play no matter how potentially dangerous it could be. I could picture each one of them in my mind. The dialogue fit the antics of kids at play.

Wow Moments:

The fallen staircase! Oh, my, my heart jumped a bit for the two kids stuck under the rubble.


Observations:

“No, I’m not.” James into a push-up position. You need to add a verb to make this a sentence. [James got into?]

“We were just playing tag there.[new sentence, Capital T, here] there isn’t any other place to play except for that old house ever since the tornado came through here a few years ago.”

Story Flow:

A little bit disjointed, probably due to having to cut out some parts for the word count limit.

*Apple* Also, the family names all starting with an "A" makes the reader pause to try to remember if it's a parent or kid. I know some parents whose names start with the same letter give their children names beginning with the same letter, but when we readers have only a small piece of their lives, their characters, it can be difficult to follow.


The Ending:

*Tempcold* I got chills at the end about the parents, who originally owned the home. I wondered why the daughter and her husband didn't try to keep up the maintenance on such a dangerously inviting place for curious children.

Ending was wrapped up pretty quickly with the visit to the neighbors' home. I guess I just wanted more clarity, more development of the attitude of the townspeople. It has to be tough living in a town where your family is disliked over a piece of troublesome property. I wonder if James' parents are going to sue for his personal injury. *QuestionGr*

Parting Thoughts:

This story has good potential. It just needs a little editing so the flow is better and some parts developed further to bring more clarity to the reader. It's a fine gem in the rough. *CheckG*

Good luck with the contest. *Smile*


Until next time--write on!


Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


Angel&Witch
This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
368
368
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there SandraLynn Team Florent!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angel*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the random Read & Review generator. *Glasses*

You had me at "I miss you Mom!

Once I saw that title I had to read your poem. I knew there would be a connection straight to my heart. You say all the things mothers and daughters would say or think. I could feel the emotions both joyful and some bittersweet moments as well.

Who is Mom?

Mom is the woman who can talk on the phone for hours and never miss a beat. In case that had the tiniest chance of happening, she'd repeat the whole conversation again. *Laugh* But you always knew it was because she loves you so much and wants to hear your voice.

When my mother passed away, I still had her voice on my voicemail. I never erased them because they were beautiful moments of her life that she shared. I can still hear her voice now, both by her messages and still within my mind and heart. So, I know how this poem about your mom pulled at your heartstrings. We do miss them so once they are gone. In fact, I just started emptying the boxes I packed from her home after she passed away. It's been six years that they have been stored away because I would cry if I opened them.

As the years pass, I believe we still remain close to our Moms. We relive those memories in our minds and hearts.

Final Thoughts:

Your poem touched that depth of the love between a mother and daughter. It was beautiful to read!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
369
369
Review of Sad Country Song  
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello there, Prosperous Snow celebrating

This is a
GROUP
The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
Review! *Witchlegs1*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review.

My Initial Thoughts:

Country music and broken-hearted love go hand in hand. There is a catchy melody and the sweet lamenting that pulls the reader right into the tone of the emotional pain.

Mechanics:

*Music1* Rhythm and Rhyme, beautifully executed.
*Vine1* The feelings it evoked, very "Country!"
*Tackg* The strong words were woven handily for proper impact.
*Guitar* I could picture a guitar strumming along with these lyrics. It could actually be seen, heard and appreciated in my mind's eye. I like that!

*Butterfly2V* I found no spots that jumped out at me and gave me pause. Smooth as silk perfection!

Good job!*CowboyHat*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
370
370
Review of Ladybug Beach  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Itchybarn
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angel*

*Binoculars* I came across your item while perusing things to read on WDC. Your title captured my attentions!

My Initial Thoughts:

*Ladybug* I love ladybugs, too! They are so cute and wouldn't hurt a fly, although what they consume must be quite tiny. There is a certain time of year that they seem to show up. I figure they know what they are doing and let them be. *Laugh*

Your poem had a lovely rhythm and rhyme. It was almost lyrical. *Music1*

I did not know this:

Orange colored ladybugs are older, and red ones are younger? You learn something new everyday. Thanks for that bit of information. *Bigsmile*

*Ladybug* Loved this poem and the happy way it made me feel reading it over again and all the way through! I found no spot that made me pause. It was a smooth and pleasant read.

Good job! *BurstB*

Lots of luck with your creative writing and poetic muse!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
371
371
Review of Camp Hostage  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there SandraLynn Team Florent!
This is an
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering the July prompt. *Bigsmile*

*Delight* I really enjoyed the antics of Joey and Danny at the campsite. They were wonderful complements of one another to keep the dialogue going in between the scary moments they experience.

*Smirk* I loved the local horror-tale by the camp Counselor!!! There's nothing like a campfire, kids gathered around, and a scary story being told. All that was needed were the S'Mores! *Ha*

*Laugh* The dog, the skunk the not-to-well constructed tent and the humor it all invoked was enjoyable! *GoLucky* Kids are wonderful subject matter for humor mixed with camping. You made them likeable and real in my mind's eye.

Observations:

This would have been easier to read if there were spaces skipped between paragraphs. I know indenting is classic book-style, but on the monitor it is more difficult to look at. Think "wall of words bleeding together." Anyway, this is just a suggestion and is probably the most used format on WDC --the spacing between paragraphs.

Some punctuation issues are present. [commas, and ending punctuation in a sentence should precede the end quote.] A couple other spots could use a quick check in the punctuation department.

*PaintBrush* Otherwise, this was such a fun read. It was descriptive and lively. It brought the scenes and characters to life so I could picture the,

Well done! *TreePine*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
372
372
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Circuit Rider
This is an
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest" . Thank you for entering! *Bigsmile*

*Sneaker2* I enjoyed this story through the eyes of a Boy Scout leader bringing the troop on a camping trip.

Unique Location!

*Bat1* Having a cave as the campsite made this extra fun. It goes beyond a tent or sleeping under the stars and brings the reader into a dark, claustrophobic spot. Hey, it got me gasping for air just reading it. I happen to have claustrophobia, so even though this is a comedy, it made me shudder! *Bats*

The Characters:

Besides the boys and the bus driver, the main character is Mr. Jones. He's the one who has a dialogue with Spivey, a youngster who couldn't spend the night in the cave. It worked out well for Mr. Jones, he couldn't sleep in the cave, either. *Laugh*

Loved this Part:

"And I had brought along my squeezebox that I still didn’t know how to play, but it made a good deterrent if I threatened to play it."
*Rolling* Good way to keep order among the 18 boys, threaten to play an accordion.

Observations

"I guess we could have, but working with young boys and fitting it into family schedules, you take whatever adventure you can get in the wintertime and I didn’t have to worry about frostbit [frostbite],..."

"Finely [finally] the last flashlight beam quits dancing across the damp ceiling and all seems at peace."

Conclusion:

I loved the ending. Spivey vowed to protect Mr. Jones' reputation by not divulging his fear of spending the night in the cave. It made me laugh. *Laugh*

Additionally, there was a "bonus" ending because Spivey was able to bond with a father-figure and know trust and honor. Great character strengthening. *Salute*

Well done!*Fire*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
373
373
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, willwilcox
This is an
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our July prompt! *Bigsmile*

What Intrigue is This?

*Blackberry* It is a spine chilling story that pulls the character into frantic fear, because of what is on the loose -- is what this is!

There Must be a way OUT!

One would think, eh? However, this beast has a mind of its own and does not believe in quitting until the job is done -- or should I say overdone? *Shock2*

The Character of the Character:

*Target2* Jake Springer is a pretty cool guy. He loves camping and nature walks. You made me like him. I thought here is a guy who is strong, athletic and self-sufficient out there in the wilderness. Or, at least I thought he was all that. Actually, Jake had a huge target on his back. HE was being hunted in the most unnatural way.

My Favorite Lines:

"Jake's eyes bulged, greasy nausea gripping his guts. He turned his head to meet it face to face."

*Ninja* I believe that image will be planted in my brain long after this review gets planted in yours. However, in that line I saw Jake's courage bloom. He was no longer running; he couldn't run anymore. He faced those eyes and fangs. That was brave -- very brave!

Technical Issues?

I found none the jumped out and bit me on the neck. *Poison*

Conclusion of the Conclusion:

*Shuffle* I liked it! His last thoughts as he crosses out of this life leave the reader to wonder what would that answer be from the rattler of vengeance. Would that scream vibrate through the fangs? Indeed!

Well done! *Shovel*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
374
374
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Princess Megan Rose 22 Years
This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review. *Smile*

*Cry* Oh, my, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Tigger." She sounded like a real bundle of fun and love. I love the way you describe your memories of her.

*House* House fire! So scary! I'm happy you all made it out safe!


*Cat* I feel like I know so much about Tigger and her devotion to you. You were fortunate to have her in your life for so many wonderful years. And yes, she'll be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

*Hug*
Webbie *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
375
375
Review of beach walk  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Rhyssa
This is an
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing this item because it popped-up on the random Read & Review. *Smile*

Initial Thoughts:

*Wave1* Your poem about walking on the beach is glorious! I say that because I felt as if I were right there on that walk with you. I love the seaside with all its sights and sounds and ambiance. It is an explosion of senses.

Construction:

This is a free verse poem, which I love when well-executed. I loved this one! *Bigsmile*

Brief Observation:

"and dune grass dry
and whispering secrets"

*Thought2* Don't know if it was intentional for emphasis, but the double "and" might be better as a single use in the second line and eliminated on the line above it? Just a thought.

Loved this!

"sand squelches between
my toes"

I could actually "feel" what you are describing! *Delight*

The "and" aside, I feel this poem deserves five stars. It awakened all my senses -- and that's worth a great deal to me after reading poetry. *Quill*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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