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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Open Your Eyes  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a poem after my heart because it exhorts me to stand up and pull myself up from grief and sorrow.
I needed this encouragement to be brave and take on a future, which paves way to rediscover happiness.

“Free your soul from sadness
Feel the sun’s cleansing rays.”

I can see the use of nature imagery to bring solace to soul and spirit.
The wind, the sun, the clouds and the sky are the elements that help us in getting inspiration and joy.
In a joyous heart are sown seeds of hope that lend courage to a stricken soul.

Beautifully crafted poem with a perfect ABCB rhyme and a well-balanced rhythm.

It flows well.

Write on!
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2
2
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Even an ageless one like a fortune teller succumbs to age and a foggy mind.
No one is beyond the dictates of time.

Hello Joto-Kai,
I am Jaya and I am glad I came across this telling poem in your portfolio.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this cheerful occasion. *Cake*
Have a great day.

The fortune teller had me attracted to his trade from the beginning. Perhaps because we too have similar professionals in our town.
Despite our better thinking, we get interested in the mysteries of fortune telling. It is definitely a weakness born out of worry, fear and sheer curiosity.

"I took joy in sharing happy news.
I comforted those whose futures were not so bright."

These lines show that he is very humane and feels joy and sorrow as others.

"In their place, a cold gray fog that hurts the eyes."
His limitations are out in the open.

It flows well.

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3
3
Review of A dream of a muse  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Someone in the dream catches his imagination and he actually tries to pursue the attractive blonde.
Sleep to dream appears to be his motive.

That's great theme for a story. He might in possibility find her in real life shocking him out of wits in a nice way.

The description of the woman of his dream seems worthy of his single minded concentration on knowing from close quarters. He might succeed in finding her in flesh and blood. I hope so.

It is fun to read this dream like story.

Language and style kept me to it and made me think about it.

Thank you for sharing talent.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations! *Cake*

Write on!
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4
4
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I find this poem submitted to the Poetry Newsletter(December 11, 2012), quite inspiring.

It is true that life is full of blessings for which we need to be thankful and wish it so for others as well.

Hi, I am Jaya and my review of this appealing verse is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this happy occasion that marks another year of creative activities at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day.

The number of things that bring pleasure to you are more or less similar to my own list of things of joy.

"I love my life, hate my job, could take or leave a shopping spree;
at the end of the day I'm just glad to be me."

You have rightly concluded that we need to be happy for what we are and who we are. The sense of contentedness comes through clearly.

The blessing of looking at self and feel happy at what it is, is granted to a few. To be satisfied with one's own's lot is so vital to leading a healthy life.

Pleasant rhyming and rhythm and smooth spontaneity help poem in flowing well.

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5
5
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This instant market place is interesting if also dubious.
You gave some information about the flats and the way streets confluence. Houses with common walls are now built all over the world. With a hike in city population, independent houses are no longer possible in cities and towns. In a big commercially significant city, getting living accommodation is more difficult than climbing the Everest if you don't mind the hyperbole.

Setting up a market place without the authorities permission is usually nonexistent. But in these days of "talking to the right persons" anything is possible at a cost. Perhaps, they will last as long as the authorities look the other side and do not object. Smart and streetwise.

Thank you for sharing information about Thailand.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!*CakeP*

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6
6
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A memory clings. The photo refuses you the freedom to live the future. The end of the poem is truly thought- provoking.

"And leave me, for I can no longer walk our path.

I am frozen in the past with you."

Hi Graham, I am Jaya. This humble review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on this nice occasion.*Cake*
Have a cheerful day,

This romantic poem is impressively composed.
The memory of a past love that is vitally and vibrantly present, is depicted effortlessly.

"Fragments of a life so short yet endless,
A dream lived by two hearts and two minds."

Beautiful memories made of love live forever on their minds. A photo on the dresser keeps it going despite the "ravages of time."

Imagery brings the two of them to my mind's eye. High imagination and perfect imagery, a potent mix, results in a telling verse.

It flows well.

Write on!
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7
7
Review of Nature Haiku  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

the twilight play of light and colours is well depicted in this haiku.
Scenic beauty comes through in simple description.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congrats on this occasion. *Cake2*
Have a nice day.

Time of the day
Location
Season

are poetically and appealingly dealt with in this poem.
Perfect syllabic count.
5-7-5

Visual imagery takes me to a late evening in autumn or the beginning of winter.
Colour imagery is used while painting the setting sun.

“Orange sun”
A tree “cast in gold”

It flows well.
Appealing and attractive haiku.

Write on!
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8
8
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mage,
this poem rightly describes a mother's feelings confronting her just born baby. I appreciate your recollections of the event with clarity and vividness.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on a lovely occasion.*CakeB*
Hope you will have wonderful day.

"On the day you were born
I found timeless love
And infinite gratitude ---"

On the day of my son's birth,
time stood still
tears flowed when he cried
tenderness in my heart overflowed.

A woman becomes more kind when she becomes a mother. Feelings of love multiply.

Indeed, it was a fulfilling moment.

Thank you for sharing.
It flows well.

Write on!
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9
9
Review of Just Believe  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi
it is a feel good story for the harassed housekeepers. No doubt, everything should be taken with a smile and cheer. I find that any complicated matter finds a solution when you deal with it pleasantly. That's the key. Few have that spirit, when faced with a difficult cooking range or fridge full of unwanted things. It happens.

"“Universe!” she lamented, “What have I done to deserve this?” Tears slid down her cheeks as she started to throw the defrosted contents of the freezer into a black bin bag."

Sure, leave it to the universe to take care of trouble shooting.
Solutions are found in unexpected quarters and voila! No more problems.

The good philosophy of sticking to the positive attitude pays off.

"“What did I tell you?! The universe takes care of us. Just believe!”"

Great story with appropriate dialog and scenario.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary! *Cake*

Write on!
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10
10
Review of Interloper  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A telling poem on the destruction of beauty. This applies to the ancient buildings around my town, which are still strong and capable of facing the test of time. But they are brought down and replaced with tall structures where live a hundred or more. Obviously, we need space for the growing population. Now beauty is in memory.

This dandelion you found is being cut down because it is redundant among roses and lilies. Nobody spares even a single glance at the dandelions. Like a mother's love they spread everywhere and being cut down when not needed.
"Why? Is the question
Why is this beauty destroyed?"

You drew the right conclusion.
"Even beauty must be gone
If it does not fit"

Written in tercets, this poem provides fodder to think of the way certain things happen.

It flows well.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary, Zeke.*Cake*

Write on!
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11
11
Review of Like the Tide  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Indeed, when the battles lost causes and when despair and desolation engulf, a person seeks solace only in prayer and only on leaning on His mercy, which never fails.

"Then in the midst of the storm,
The wind did cease,"

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you go on to the next wonderful year at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day1

I appreciate the wonderful word play you challenged yourself with paying off.

"Washing me away.
Away, away, away, away,
Washing me away,"

You depicted a tormented soul impressively with fine imagery of the sea. The rage inside and out is connected logically.

It flows well.

Write on!
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12
12
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The tragic story of a woman who failed in securing love is truly well narrated.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.*Cake*
Have a nice day.

The young woman standing on the edge of a cliff is visually described. Her thoughts are tragic yet the surrounds are beautiful. The sea, the breeze and the evening sky.

I can see that love failure can be traumatic and it drives a person crazy to the extent of committing suicide.

But the spirit drifts still crying for fulfilment. That could never be.

The description of the woman's churning thoughts and her sudden fall into the chasm is impressively shown. It is so heart breaking.

Well written.

Write on!
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13
13
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You are so right about the sea being your sole company.
I enjoy the sea more when I am alone gazing and contemplating its beauty and mysterious movements through out day and night.
It is eternal with no stopping the ebb and tide.
The moon and the stars seem to attain extra glory as they shine on the sea.

"It’s an experience like nowhere else on earth, just me and the sea"

These lines make me aware of my blessings.
I live in this coastal town, where for many, the sea is taken for granted. That is not the way I view it. However number of times I sit on the sand looking at the endless blue ocean rushing to shore, I am forever mesmerized. So I come back again and again, either alone or with family.

Indeed, the white foam brings many things ashore. Shells are the best gifts of the sea. My mom used to collect them and turn them into beautiful people and attractive things.

It flows well.

Enjoy your WDC Account Anniversary. *Cake*

Write on!
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14
14
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I like the first two varieties of sandwiches for their special touch.
A sandwich with greens and a bit of mayo helps enjoying eating it. It is also healthful as it has plenty of nutrients and protein. The addition of ham appeals to me. Of course as an alternative I might add salmon instead of ham. It gives me vitamin A too.

I love the crispy bread of multigrain kind.
The second sandwich made of bagel has mouth watering ingredients cleverly spread with cheese, salmon, lemon and onion with capers is equally appealing.

Attention to health in the details is a plus point in all the three sandwiches. More so in the first two.
I am going to try them on a relaxed day.

Description is what makes it so attractive.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary. *Cake*

Write on!
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15
15
for entry "Prayer request" 
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Dear Kenzie,
this is the time to keep up your courage and cheer.

I know this kind of situation when being alone and with no help whatever.

You are right about the power of prayer.

We in India believe in it like no other.

I am making your family an intrinsic part of my prayer from now on.

Remember we all love you and your family. Let us hope things will get better in the near future.

Love and regards
Jaya


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16
16
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice moral story to read and understand the implications.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations! *CakeB*
Have a wonderful day!

An inanimate thing like a little roller coaster is perfect in its human role. It learnt the lesson in a hard way and regained its lost friends.

Life's lesson is taught well. It is not fair to please a person and ignore the others. Better to have more honest and loving friends than lose your worth for the sake of vanity.

Dialog and description are appropriate and descriptive section is just adequate.
Language and style are fine.

Write on!
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17
17
Review of my way  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Right!
one has to choose her or his own way. Despite advice and help or solicitations, one is alone in deciding which way to go. Your own individual way or the run-of-the-mill kind.

My review of this cute and sensible verse is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this important and happy occasion.*Cake2*
Have a nice day!

In short crisp lines you showed your grit and determination to follow your heart (as long as it leads to good and not to to something disillusioning).

It flows well.

"cuffed ears
narrow eyes."
Narrow eyes?

Write on!
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18
18
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

this is a heartening account of a great memory. Memories become a great source of happiness in later years.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion. *CakeP*
Have a lovely day!

The narration of the situation around your wedding is interesting. I can feel the candidness of the writer.

You proved that if a person asks for something like giving away the bride with honesty, it will never be denied.
As a person one needs to be sincere and straightforward. I am glad I found it here.

" "Pop, my father died many years ago. Would you give me away at the wedding next month?" '

No wonder Pop accepted your request wholeheartedly without second thoughts.

Sensitive and lovable.

Write on!
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19
19
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kalai,
Congratulations as you ring in a brand new creative year at the WDC.*CakeB*
Have a wonderful day!

Written from the point of a dead person's view, this sounds pretty awesome. Posthumous fame doesn't matter. Ironically enough, several people are awarded and rewarded only after they pass away.
It doesn't matter to the departed spirit. But it could mean a lot for those who love her or him who is no more.

it is all in the way we think about things.

"making me grin in the space
where there is no identity
being mine or none forever!"

Title says it all.
It flows well.

Write on!
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20
20
Review of Pumpkins  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elena,
you brought the picture of round and orange pumpkins to my mind with this little lyric.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!*Cake3*
Have a lovely day!

Pumpkins are the most attractive reminder of Halloween. Scary and silly they are supposed to keep the spirits at bay. The Jack-o-lanterns lit up with bright eyes are a feature we cannot miss on the night of Halloween. They remind us of the ancestral spirits who wander at random on this night.

"All wanting to be jack-o-lanterns
Those special pumpkins"

They also signify nature's abundance being associated with the harvest time.

It flows fine.

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21
21
Review of Alone  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The state of loneliness is well depicted here. Concentrating on self, only to find it thrown into a plane of desolation can drive person to the edge of sanity.

"Clashing against my mind,
Relentless agony,"

Expertly used terminology of depression and loneliness shows your command on vocabulary.
Not a single word describing loneliness is repeated except the refrain "alone".

Favorite lines;
"Tidal wave of sorrows"
"Embers of emptiness."

The shape and quality of aloneness can be fearful. Life without a companion is tantamount to a curse without a cure.

The flow is almost torrential.

Write on!
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22
22
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can connect with this poem, which portrays a child's wonder looking at nature, people and much more.
"Imagine first flowers,
Pearled with first drops,"

This review of a telling verse is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on stepping on another year at the WDC. *CakeB*
Have a wonderful day!

I remember the surprise and the feeling of wonder when for the first time I became aware of nature's beauty and those of the human world.

"Imagine first parent’s sight
Of first parents’ child;"

Everyday, there was a new discovery. It hasn't changed even today.

I think everyday is a wonderful journey to new horizons of beauty and joy. The positive things overweigh the negative ones. I am grateful for that.

I love the imagery you brought to the reader's mind, depicting various phases of life that shock or surprise the child's first experience.

Free style poem flows well.

Write on!
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23
23
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a practical study of human psychology.
Imagination flies and mind listens only when it wills. Absolute truth.

Hi I am Jaya and chose this impressive poem to review for your WDC Account Anniversary
Congratulations on this very special day. *CakeB*
Have a wonderful day!

Title-
Title got me reading the poem. It is poetic and stirs curiosity in the reader.

Indeed we do what the mind wants. We are mercifully at its command if we don't command it.

You have shown that a normal human being is often subject to his emotions and thoughts. Our sense and sensitivity depend on our mental frame.

We miss all the good things when going through a bad mood.
"When the flowers emit fragrance no more,
.............
the watcher is not watching."

You have shown through vivid images what we could miss if our senses take leave of us.

Mind is indeed our master.

It flows well.

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24
24
Review of After The Fall  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Situation after the ambush is visually shown.
A locale signs of bloodshed and people suffering from hunger and lack of sleep.

Hi, I am Jaya and this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you cross over to another year at the WDC. *CakeB*
Have a wonderful day.

Battle of Mogadishu ended successfully when the US regime came to an end.

The ruthless sun and lack of food and sleep could be absolutely maddening.

"We dream of rest,
oil bores,"

The dream for freedom and then hard work to build up a sound economy, while harsh realities await.

This poem brings a war torn land and the fighters to the reader's mind in crisp visual images.

It flows well.

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25
25
Review of Restless House  
Review by jaya
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Certainly interesting.
The introduction to the house is suspenseful. The expectation that something is brewing behind the dark walls pushes the reader to read on.

Space, either single or double between paragraphs, brings clarity.

"The taste of fear was evident in his mouth."
I think it is bitter in his mouth.

Here are a few edits, which might be useful.


"the dream seemed more real then the hard plastic phone pressed too hard to his ear."
(more real than..)

"To try and reason with Debra Whiting was beyond reason."
I am not sure I like the repetition of 'reason' in one sentence. You can change one of them.

"by there looks"
(by their looks)

" in his office now,"
(into his office now)

"what did someone exterior say"
(what did someone's exterior say)

"there true nature"
(their true nature)

I do look for the next chapter.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary! *CakeB*

Write on!
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