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 |   You never know what you'll find - humor, ramblings, rants, randomness- it's all me! |
| You Know the Feeling When You Finish Your First Half Marathon? Yeah, me neither. But I couldn't think of a title for this blog entry because I have no idea what I'm writing about. This, folks, is what we call winging it. I'm drinking a glass of wine. . . wine from a box - don't judge. It's cheaper and lasts longer and if I never drink the good stuff, I don't realize it tastes like cat piss. I'm not buzzed or stressed. It just seemed like a better idea than going out to the car and carrying in the bottled water. Well, maybe not better, but definitely more convenient. Last summer we drove to Montana for vacation. This summer we are driving to the Bahamas. . . I mean New Mexico. Any suggestions for things we should see or do? Why do I keep having dreams about school during summer break? Honestly, it seems unfair. I mean technically if I'm in school when I sleep that's taking almost a half of my vacation away. Oh, and to clarify these aren't amazing dreams like everyone actually understanding what a pronoun is or maybe the whole class turns in all their work. They are nightmares akin to dreaming of being in college and realizing you've forgotten to go to a class all semester and it's time for the final. Plus, I hold conversations in my sleep, so it's just a matter of time until my husband requests I sleep in the other room. Nah, he wouldn't do that; I might, but he wouldn't. I just realized that alcohol must not be required to put the caloric intake information on the box. No one regulates boxed wine! What kind of an atrocity is this!? Come on, USDA! You make them put it on Oreos, and you have to be in some pretty great denial to think those aren't bad for you. Let's be real, you eat too many of them and they turn your poop black. Or so I've heard. And on those Styrofoam Rice Cakes which seriously if you chose those over Oreos you are a saint anyway and shouldn't read the fine print. I'm pretty sure they NEVER expire before or after you've eaten them. I think my mom still has some next to her 1978 box of Triscuits with Bruce Jenner on the back holding his decathlon medal in one hand and a triscuit in the other. Yes, kiddos, Bruce Jenner used to be a male. I think I've written enough and apparently had enough wine since I've run the gamut of subjects from transgender, USDA regulations, black poop, and the unfairness of job-related nightmares. You are welcome, Audra |
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