Nothing But A Good Time

June 26, 2022

So, I got a contractor working on the house. He is doing an excellent fast job and had given me the best quote. All these others saw me and probably just was like,

"oh, he just some punk kid, let's rip him off."

Well fuck you, buddy; the joke was on you because I went with someone else. I'm not just a punk kid who knows nothing. I could have done the work myself if I really wanted to, but I am on stereotype when It comes to hard work. I'm lazy these days. I got too much other bullshit to do then to do work on the house, so why not just pay someone to do it for me?

I saw her today.....
The one...
She is all I can think of now.

I went to pick up Derbis and Dweeb some rabbit food today; yes, I named them and kept them. I was in the pet store picking out some food and some toys for their enclosure. Do you usually buy rabbits toys? Well, I did, never claimed to be normal.

I heard her first. I knew that voice, fuck did I ever know it. I heard it for 3 years in the history classes I mostly slept through of her's. I've never seen her outside of school though, she looked entirely different, almost human and not the monster I made her in my mind with all the failing grades over the years. I peeked around the aisle to get a better look and saw her holding a cat toy above a tearful customer service representative yelling that the toy was not scanning on sale. God! She was a monster. One of those crazy cat lady ones!

She had the poor girl in tears. I had to stop myself from running, grabbing my ex-teacher and throwing her through the store's glass window. I watched as she threw the toy on the counter and stormed out of the store. I walked up to the counter and put my stuff on the counter. She was dabbing the tears in her eyes. I knew the correct response for me was to say something nice, so I kind of laughed and said,

"Hey, don't let her get to you. I had her for three years in high school that was tame for her."

A smile crossed her lips, and I paid for my purchases. The minute I got in my car, I knew I just met with the next horrible person that the world needed me to cleanse it off. I'm telling you, I really should charge for this shit. Only one problem and that was I couldn't remember her name. Isn't that just freaking ironic. Nothing breaking out an old yearbook, and then the newspaper wouldn't fix...

Well, hello, Ms. Eliza Davis of 233 Pine Ave North.

Oh, how for making that girl cry today, I will be thinking of many ways to kill those fucking devil cats you own right in front of you before I slowly kill you. Honey, we are going to have some fun together soon.