Short Flash Fiction Tales

For the Birds

“You brought a purse on a hike?”

“Yeah. So?”

“That’s just an unusual thing to do.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Most people bring a backpack.”

“Yeah. So?”

“That’s kind of annoying.”

“What is?”

“That constant ‘yeah so’ stuff.”

“Good.”

“So you want to annoy me?”

“Right now? Yeah.”

“Why?”

“What else is there to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Enjoy the plants and wildlife and stuff?”

“Nature is boring.”

“Spoken like a true outdoorsperson.”

“I never claimed to be an outdoorsperson.”

“Then why did you come on a hike with me?”

“I was bored.”

“You’re bored a lot, huh.”

“Yeah.”

“But isn’t it beautiful out here? I mean, listen to those birds, just chirping away.”

“They’re giving me a headache.”

“A headache? Bird song? It doesn’t relax you?”

“Nope.”

“Seriously? You don’t find the cool mountain air and stunning views refreshing?”

“Well, they’re not so bad. It’s really just the birds that annoy me.”

“Well, let’s walk a little further. Once we get past those trees, maybe there won’t be any more birds.”

“I still hear a bird.”

“That’s a bald eagle. See? Over there?”

“Whatevs.”

“You seriously aren’t interested in seeing a bald eagle? They’re super rare!”

“What’s the big thing about bald eagles?”

“I think they’re endangered.”

“Yeah? So it’s like a crime to kill them or something?”

“I guess so. Why do you⁠—?”

“Ha! Direct hit! Look at that puff of feathers!”

“I can’t believe…! Why did you do that?!”

“It was annoying me.”

“But…!”

“Just putting my college softball skills to use.”

“But…!”

“Plus I kinda dig being a bad girl.”

“But…!”

“You know what? That constant ‘but’ stuff is really kind of annoying. I think it deserves a little eagle treatment…”

“Ow! That hurt.”

“Yeah. So?”

297 words