Random Ramblings

Donut Get Upset

I try to be a gracious host. Try being the operative word there, for even the most patient and accommodating person wishes to wring a few necks when their good nature is strained. I'm sure you know where this story is going. Let's get some perspective on this, shall we?

After a classmate and good friend wanted some tutelage on Humanities, I put forth the concept of an informal study session on the weekend. Several weeks later, the group spontaneously doubled. Fine with me, I thought. Now we can pair off into groups and I'll hang back, oversee things and quiz everyone afterwards.

Perhaps I was a bit too successful in this venture. Once grades began trending upwards, word of mouth spread that I was an excellent translator for the dense and incomprehensible Russian literature we were currently assigned. I rolled my eyes at this, amazed that people thought the Brothers Karamazov was a tough read. Just wait until Ulysses made the rounds.

Before I left my dorm, I sent a group text out asking if anyone wanted coffee and donuts. I was feeling especially generous after receiving a paycheck from my job at the cafe, where I was picking up said refreshments. It wasn't because I got an employee discount or anything. Perish the thought.

You'd think I used to be a waiter if you saw me enter the study hall with those loaded arms. Carefully balancing a tray of hot coffee and a box of donuts, I kicked open the door as my proteges watched, seated around the table closest to the entrance. Not even one of them offered to help. But I managed, nonetheless.

Once I finally placed the steaming beverages and pastries down, I did a head count and came up one too many. "Who's this?" I inquired with a frown.

"Oh that's Cody! He heard you were a godly tutor so he's here to soak up some knowledge." Ian waved a hand at him, as if it was no big deal. It was a very big deal to me. I only brought enough for five people, including myself.

Sighing, I gestured to the sugary offerings. "Well, nobody warned me we had a plus one so I'm a bit short on snacks. It's fine. Help yourselves, I'll just grab an orange juice from the vending machine."

Derek put a hand over the box, glancing around solemnly. "There is only one answer for this problem."

I covered my eyes and groaned inwardly. Here he goes again.

"We must settle this like men," Derek continued gravely. "I propose a death match. First one eliminated receives all of the shame and none of the caffeinated glory."

"Look," I protested. "There's no need for dramatics. I'll just get a drink upstairs and call it a day. We'll just be more mindful next time, okay?"

But my words were lost on that group. They nodded in agreement with Derek, the idea of testosterone fueled combat was far more appealing than rational compromise.

"We shall fight like demons!" Sherod crowed and jumped on top of the table behind us. I threw my arms up in defeat. There was no talking sense into them when they got like this.

Beating his chest, Sherod scowled as his head swiveled around the group. "Who dares challenge me?"

"Hol' up," Matt interrupted. "If it's the first one out, then why do we all have to fight? Shouldn't we just draw out of a hat to pick?"

Nodding, the dudes agreed there had to be some guidelines for this tournament. They weren't barbarians, after all. Trying not to pull my hair out, I calmly proposed that we just move on to the textbooks and forget the whole thing.

"I'm actually going to go upstairs and get my drink right now. Hell, I might even get a honey bun with it. So we can all just settle down, right guys? Right...?" I glanced around as they ignored me and began arguing over the rules to the Great Donut Death Match.

Walking away, I struggled not to unleash a scream of frustration. It was going to be a long day.


30 Day Blog Challenge Day 5: You arrive at work today with five donuts and five coffees for the people who are scheduled to be there. But you have a problem. Counting you, six people are there, and all of you love coffee and donuts! How do you and your friends resolve this?