Evolution of Love 2

English Proficiency

In the era of medical schools for mass production of doctors, nobody tests for English proficiency when getting into medicine and command of English is sometimes hilarious . . . Enjoy what these medical students / doctors actually wrote . . .

* ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS' HOSPITAL CASE PAPERS:*

*1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.*

*2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.*

*3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. !!*

*4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.*

*5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.*

*6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.*

*7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.*

*8) The patient refused autopsy.*

*9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.*

*10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.*

*11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.*

*12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.*

*13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.*

*14) She is numb from her toes down. !!!!!!!!!!*

*15) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.*

*16) The skin was moist and dry.*

*17) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.*

*18) Patient was alert and unresponsive.*

*19) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.*

*20)Skin: somewhat pale but present.*

*21) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.*

*22) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities....!!!*
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