Toadette's Story

Chapter 15 - Bus Bitches

Princess Daisy laughed the whole trip to the ground floor. Great, my suffering was just another comedy routine for this woman.

“Hey, I feel your pain, shorty. It’s way more fun to be on the receiving end of foot worship.”

I quivered. “Maybe it’s possible that both sides are awful.”

The ground level had yet to fill to the total capacity. Judging from what little I knew, it would only become full around the afternoon. So, aside from the Toads chattering about, guess who was also there? Her Highness’s spawn.

I should’ve remembered from last night that she’d be coming. Just great. On the positive side, at least she was fully dressed today. A shirt, shorts, shoes, a backpack. Anything was an improvement over a girl walking through town in a swimsuit.

Or so I thought. One more scan of her outfit made me slap my face.

“What are those?”

“What’s what?”

I pointed right at her feet. How in the world did she think flip-flops were an excellent idea to bring to an ice-cold sewer system? How was ANY of that clothing going to help her down there? So much of her skin was left exposed.

“Get some warmer clothes, or you can’t come, got it?”

She folded her arms. “I’m not changing my—”

“You wanna end up like your non-aunt over there? Change or stay!”

The girl groaned and shoved past me. Trust me, once she entered those sewers, she’d learn that I just wanted to save her butt.

“Where was that tough girl energy in the club when we needed it?” Princess Daisy asked, tugging on my braid.

“Kept under wraps like it should be. I haven’t had to act like that in…”

When was the last time I ever had to act like that? Jeez, that must’ve been so long ago. Maybe around that time we moved.

OH! Penelope came back. Or I had my head in memory lane for too long. I digress. Her outfit here fit much better with where we were meant to go. She’d wrapped a sweater around her waist that she could throw on at any point. Jeans covered her legs, so no need to worry about those giving way. And as for her feet, they were out of sight and snuggled in sneakers.

She tapped her foot. “Is this better?”

“The most normal I’ve ever seen you dressed.”

With all the walking we’d have to do in the sewers, pacing myself was of utmost priority. So, rather than spend the whole day on foot, we would rely on one of the world’s great inventions: public transport. The blue and red bus proudly pulled up in front of the castle’s bus stop, the smell of exhaust filling my lungs. Once the doors slid open, passengers flooded out the bus like scatter-brained flies. It took 23 seconds before we even got a chance to step into the vehicle.

Gripping Penelope’s arm, I immediately targeted the back of the bus. Always the best spot to sit, let’s admit. To my horror, despite the large crowd of people who exited, this bus was still jam-packed with people. Standing, sitting, it didn’t matter. Trying to reach the back to see if there were any available seats was rustling through trees and plants in a crowded jungle.

“You’re gonna rip my arm off!”

Ah, that brought me back to when I told my mother the same thing in public. As soon as we made it to the back, I claimed the few accessible seats there were. Three right next to each other, thankfully enough. After settling in our seats, Penelope yanked her arm back, rubbing it. Typical kid stuff she was pulling here, pretending like I really hurt her. If only she understood that I was once a kid. All the tricks, yeah, I was the one who mastered them.

Both the royals sandwiched me, and across from us sat a family of humans. Brown hair, light skin. Must’ve been tourists from some other place. Outside of Princess Peach and her apparent daughter, humans living in Toad Town was a rarity.

The last bus incident made me really conscious about taking off my shoes in public, now. But these flats were getting so tight on my feet. Constricting my toe movement, making it difficult for my soles to breathe. Ultimately, I had to at least dangle them off my toes. Such a mundane action couldn’t attract any undue attention.

Just as I believed I was golden, Penelope swiped my shoe and began rubbing the top of my stockinged foot.

“Ew. You like these things, Miss Toadette?”

“They’re a bit of a pain to put on every morning, but yeah. Something wrong with them?”

Now she ran her fingers across the bottom of my foot.

“They’re too slippery to walk around in.”

Princess Daisy shook her head. “If you’re walking everywhere with them, that’s mistake number one, Penny.”

Stockings never gave me issues. How could they give royals? The things take some getting used to on smooth floors. Maybe I busted my ass one or two times. But once you get the hang of it, jumping around in them is a piece of cake.

“They’re better than socks,” I said. “On top of that—"

SPLAT!

What the hell? The kid across from me shot a spitball at my cap! Once I made eye contact with him, he peeled into a fit of laughter. But... ugh, just let it slide. No use beating up a kid on the bus.

Picking up where I left off, “I like that they always cover my whole leg—”

SPLAT!!

Mess with me once, I’m mad. Mess with me twice, I’m furious. Now that I actively focused on the boy, his shirt said everything I needed to know about him. Mushroom City. Of course, he was from that nightmare of a city. Furthermore, his mother sat doing nothing about this blatant disrespect.

My teeth ground against each other. “Can you cut that out, please?”

“Make me, bitch.”

Adding insult to injury, the boy stuck his middle finger up. Natural instincts took over, and I swung at him. If only my first made contact, he would’ve been in for a world of pain. But the oh-so kind princess held me like I was a stubborn child.

“Hold on, hold on. Can’t have you getting arrested for fighting a kid, now.”

She loomed over the little brat. “Hey, little boy, didn’t she just ask you to stop?”

He ripped another piece of paper and crumpled it. Then, placing it in straw again, he spat at Penelope’s face. Wow. He was either very stupid or had some big balls.

While I swatted it off her cheek, she growled at this boy. His response? A cheeky little grin back. Before he could ball up another paper, Princess Daisy plucked the straw out his dirty mouth and backhanded him in the nose.

“Hmph! Rude way to address Sarasaland’s leader, don’tcha think?”

Immediately, the boy’s mother dropped her newspaper and bowed to the princess. She had her hands together and everything. Where was this energy when I was getting spat on by her demon spawn?

She cried out, “Your Highness, I apologise for my son’s behaviour.”

“I’d believe you if you stepped in when he spat on my assistant there. Or when he called her a bitch.”

Princess Daisy stomped the heels of her sneakers in, lifting her socked feet out of them. And as the mother fumbled coming up with excuses, the princess sat back in her seat, peeling her socks off.

“If you wanna let your son act like an animal, that’s fine by me. On your knees, boy!”

The whole bus’s attention was drawn to the back. Even the driver couldn’t keep his concentration on the road. Between the princess’s yelling and the endless eyes locked onto us, I couldn’t tell what was more nerve-wracking.

The mother jerked her son on the floor. Princess Daisy chuckled, shoving her big toe in the boy’s mouth. Seriously, on the bus!?

“Enjoy licking my feet for the rest of your ride. Mom, you can give my assistant the same treatment.”

“No, no, that’s okay,” I said. Being a spectator was perfectly fine.

“Lucky you. You can handle my left foot, then.”

The boy’s tongue worked around the bottom of the princess’s foot. Hopefully, it wasn’t too sweaty since we hadn’t been out that long. No, what am I saying? It better have been as sweaty as possible, just to squick him out. Maybe, just maybe, he’d get a clue of how I felt from his spitballs. Heh, now hearing him groan sent a cathartic shock up my spine.

Princess Daisy was sure getting a kick out of it. “In between the toes. Come on, get it where it’s nice and tasty.”

While her toes absolutely violated the boy’s tongue, the mother had her face slapped by the princess’s other foot. Following that, the heel pushed itself deeply into her mouth. Oof, must’ve been real difficult for her to breathe with that blocking her. But that was karma for being a terrible parent.

As if this wasn’t enough, Penelope also decided to join in the action. The girl hopped out of her seat and held her foot up to the mother. By the way, her shoe was still firmly on her foot.

“Lick.”

Damn. How revolting it must have felt to be licking the bottom of a girl’s shoes. Those shoes had a distinctly worn look to them, so no, the soles were not clean. Well, not yet. The mother’s tongue in the first lick already had some sludge on it.

Princess Daisy moved her left foot in front of the boy’s face, giving him ten toes to focus on.

“Now, I think you owe my assistant her due apology, don’t you, brat?”

He muttered the most pathetic “I’m sorry” I’d heard in a while. But if he wanted to play so badly, Toadette here would indulge him. I gave Princess Daisy’s arm a poke.

“Doesn’t sound sincere to me. Maybe you oughta make him suck all your toes, just to be sure.”

She chuckled. “Absolutely. Care to do the honours?”

Did that even need to be asked? I took hold of the boy’s head and drove it towards the princess’s scrunching toes.

“Bon appetite!”

First, the big toe charged into the boy’s puny mouth. Then, in an instant, the rest of the princess’s toes followed their leader. He sat so helplessly at the mercy of the princess’s nasty feet. And there I was, bobbing his head back and forth like he was doing another dirty activity. A tad too humiliating? Perhaps, but sometimes you gotta embarrass kids to get them to learn a lesson.

Back on the mother, she practically had a third of Penelope’s shoe in her mouth. Now that was an impressive feat. Looked painful as well, what with her eyes watering and face going red. Princess Daisy gave a round of applause.

“Why stop there? Take your shoes off, Penny. Let’s give ’em both eight feet to worship toget—”

The princess fell into a handrailing accompanied by a loud screech. The bus swayed backwards, then the metal slowly creaked back to neutral.

A ding ringed through the bus, followed by the automated voice going, “We’ve arrived at the northern entrance of central Toad Town.”

“Time to go,” I said, fixing my flat back on my foot.

Penelope yanked her shoe out the woman’s mouth. “Aw, it was just getting fun.”

Before she disembarked, Princess Daisy gave the boy a final slap with her wet foot.

“Even if I’m not around, just know I’m always watching, boy.”

The moment we stepped off the bus, it pulled off without hesitation. Hmm… Would they ban me from that bus next time? Wouldn’t be my first banning, no siree.

Before going off, I said to the princess, “Thank you for that.”

“If that kid grew up in Sarasaland, he wouldn’t even dare to pull something like that. You guys are slipping up here.”

“Don’t confuse Toad Town citizens for Mushroom City scum. We’re two different breeds.”

Now, before we headed off to Toad Town Tunnels, we had to make a stop somewhere. What use was going back down there if we had no hammers? That girl better had not sold them off.