Sanguine Tenacious Tidings

Camping With Andre' June 3,2021

Prompt: rite about a campground in your area and how a visit there with Andre went haywire

I found this on the web. It was quite entertaining. I include it as an extra of this blog not necessarily a part of the camping story. Don't read it unless you have an extra few minutes, since it is a story and will take a some time to read.

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A Camping Tragedy

JUNE 3,2022 The following will not have truthful scenarios alluding to the campground listed in the story as this is a completely fictional story.

Activities https://thegreatoutdoorsfamilycampground.com

As we arrived at the campgrounds the sky went from bright sunshine to black rolling clouds. We were given a map to the off the grid camping area. Looking at the sky, I truly wished we had not decided to camp so far away from everyone else. Storms that come up in this area, on the fly, can bring awesome displays of mother nature. I’ve seen sunny days turn into roaring windstorms with driven rain or hail so deep it covered the ground in inches of ice. Not a pretty thought.

Today we were driving the jeep loaded down with camping supplies. I noticed Andre’, through my rearview mirror, sitting in his seat, belted in, looking around in a quiet interested way as the path to the campsite took us into a more wilderness view of life.

I nudged Darla, who was reading the map, as we bounced down the one lane trail to the campground we were assigned. “Do you think Andre’ is unusually quiet on this ride?”

“Kind of, maybe, I’m not sure?” She mumbled.

Just then I noticed a large stone on the trail ahead of us. I brought the trail ready automobile to a slow halt. “The trail is blocked.”

“Can’t you just inch you way around it? It doesn’t look that big.”

“See how the trees grow in so close. I don’t think there is room. I’m going to get out and see if it can be moved.”

"What is that? OK it’s alive." I slipped my phone out of my pocket and called the ranger station. “There is a big snapping turtle on the trail.” I reported. “You can't? How do I do that? O.K. If we can’t do that we will be calling you again.”

“What’s going on?” I jumped, because Darla had come up behind me, while I was talking on my cell phone.

“I didn’t know you were standing there. It’s a snapping turtle. I called the ranger station. It’s the weekend. They can’t come out to move it, too many campers need his attention. He is the only one on duty this weekend. He said they can be dangerous so don’t approach it yet.”
"Oh."

“Yeah, he told me how to do it. We have to find a sturdy branch and get it to bite the branch then we can carry it out of the way. He said, Be really careful.”

All of a sudden there was Andre’ he grabbed a branch about 1 inch in diameter from under a tree and waved it right in front of the turtles mouth. SNAP! Faster than the last flash of a burnt out lightbulb, the turtle severed that limb in half. Darla and I took a few steps backwards. Andre’ let out some Chimp howls covered both hands across his ears, then in quick succession both eyes, then his mouth while jumping up and down.

The turtle pulled its' head deeper into his shell and started slowly back peddling itself in a semicircle toward the East. Now, it was centered in the trail and moving toward the campground, one slow step at a time.

We stood silently watching it. In the 6 minutes we stood there it moved a couple inches.

Darla who was standing slightly to the side and back of me jerked on the side of my yellow t-shirt, "you know what, if you center your jeep just right you can drive on down the trail. I can sit beside the trail adjacent to the turtle. Just to make sure you don’t hit the beast. As soon as you clear the turtle I’ll yell, you stop, I’ll jump in, off we go.”

“Sounds like a plan, Andre’ get back in your seat. By now, the clouds above had turned a dark, dark, color and a wind was picking up. Pretty soon, with Darla watching, the auto cleared the turtle. Darla jumped in and we left it behind.

Once into the camping area we pulled out some sandwiches and water bottles. I watched with a sigh of relief, when the dark storm clouds rolled over, heading Eastward. The wind kept blowing. The tops of surrounding trees waved a lot, nevertheless, the appearance of sunshine was heartening. Good just blow that storm away I thought.

Ok. Let’s get this camp setup. Andre’ actually helped unload bedrolls, and other essentials, even though he kept looking back down the dirt road the way we came in. "Where does the tent go?"

Darla pointed and we both grabbed opposite corners of the family tent dragging it into position and unfolding it. “Andre’ can you bring us the package of tent stakes from the Jeep?” I looked around. “Where’s Andre’?”

Darla stood up stretching her back, hands on hips, looking around. “He was just here.”

No Andre to be seen anywhere. "I’ll get the stakes." We proceeded to put up the massive tent ourselves. Forty-five minutes later, " Where is the rain sheet?" I wanted to know. Darla just shrugged.

"I'm sure it was here when we unloaded the equipment. If it rains we need it on the tent to shed the water."

Spinning around toward the dragging sound Darla pointed. There was Andre’ dragging the rain sheet into the campsite. The snapping turtle was riding on the sheet.

Andre’ folded the sheet over rolling the turtle off unto the ground. Just then I heard thunder. Dark, black clouds were once again rolling our way. "Quick we need to get the sheet in place and stabilized." It seemed in response to my words serious gusting winds began to rampage through the camp flinging coolers, camp stove, solar panels, a folding table, and actually everything Helter, skelter.

“ Andre’ no!” I yelled as he opened an umbrella and a strong gust knocked me down It grabbed Chimp clinging to umbrella and sent him clutching the parasol high into the canopy of the brownish, green limbs and leaves above.

Darla and I clawed our way toward the vehicle; against the strong torrent of water being poured from some celestial broken dam onto our campsite. The tent was flattened, even stamped into the ground, some by the force of the water. The heavy winds rocked the car a lot. The back window was still open and blew away at one point, but we were able to ride the storm out in the vehicle. As the storm abated. I laid my head down on the steering wheel, “Poor Andre’ what do you suppose happened to him?”

We could see the storm clouds moving swiftly East. The winds went along with the storm leaving our campsite in shambles. I climbed down from the jeep as Darla open her door and slid out on the other side of the vehicle. She screamed. I ran around to her. “What’s wrong?

"I almost fell over Trudy."

"Trudy?"

"Yeah. Trudy turtle."

"The turtle? You named it Trudy?"

"No. Andre said it’s name is Trudy."

"I thought you couldn’t speak Chimp?"

"Well sometimes he makes things really clear. Look!" Darla was pointing upward toward the tops of the green soggy leafed trees.

The largest umbrella we have was floating quickly downward. It looked like a large green very solid parachute with a reddish brown chimp hanging from it’s handle. Every once in awhile Andre’ would reach out and grab hold of a limb slowing his descent, if it became too fast. Closer to the ground he reached out and drew himself onto a lower limb dropped the parasol and climbed the rest of the way down from a large maple tree.

My phone rang. “ Hello.” Just then a herd of White-tailed deer bounded into the clearing. One stopped by an upside down cooler. It picked up a bottle by the cap and started shaking it. Liquid poured out. Andre’ started screaming in Chimp language, running at the deer in his lopsided gait. He waved his long hairy arms in the air as he toddled along.

“What’s he screaming about?

Darla giggled, "the deer was emptying out his saved bottle of Banana daiquiri.”

"That was the Ranger on the phone. He is bringing a crew of campers who volunteered to help clean up the campsite."

A half dozen men and several women rode into the camp on a John Deere Gator. Together we put all the camp back together even though everything was too soggy too use. They brought a long rope which we tied to some trees and hung out clothing and bedding to dry.

Andre’ sat beside Trudy moaning over his empty banana daiquiri bottles. The ranger sat down beside him. “ Let’s go back to the ranger station, you can spend the night in the spare cabin behind the station. It’s stocked with food and bedding for emergencies. You can soak some bananas in a bottle of vodka I have.

"What about Trudy?" I asked.

"Oh. there is a small pond a few hundred yards to the East. That’s where she is aiming to go I think." As he spoke Trudy slowly aimed herself in the direction he pointed and moved off at her own speed.

We all piled into the gator and headed for the ranger station.

All WORDS = 1627

(THE END)