Complex Numbers

The Best Offense

There are a few more prompts for me to pick from at random in this incarnation of "JAFBG"  [XGC]. This is one of them:

Tell us about a time when someone else's humour offended you.

I gotta admit, this is a tough one. I'm not one to get offended at a lot of things, and most of the things I do find offensive aren't jokes. Like when someone doubts that I know how to drive a manual transmission vehicle. Dude, I was driving a four-speed truck around the farm at 12, as soon as I could reach the pedals and see over the dashboard simultaneously, and my first five vehicles were all manual. I only drive an AT now because a) "standard" isn't standard anymore, or much less expensive, and b) back problems make it difficult to clutch on a regular basis. But I promise you, if I wanted to steal your piece of shit car, your stick-shift isn't going to deter me.

Certainly, general things exist that offend me. Censorship, for example. One of the things I like about this website is that we're not censored, only content rated. You want to write scat torture porn? Go right ahead. It's probably going to be XGC, but nowhere are you guaranteed an audience.

But I don't much like to talk about the few things that do offend me. This is because trolls tend to use it against me. Like, let's use a fictional example. Say I'm offended by, I dunno, birds. If someone feels like trolling me, that would give them a hook to do so. They could send me pictures of birds, leave dead birds on my doorstep (don't do that; it's my cat's job), sign me up for the Audubon newsletter, whatever.

Which brings me back around to jokes.

Now, this is where I wish we had better graphics capability here. Picture a 2x2 grid, like a Punnett square   in genetics. Along the top you have the joker's intention: "Meant to offend" and "Didn't mean to offend." Along the side you have the recipient's attitude: "Doesn't look for offense" and "Looks for offense."

Now, as with the biology behind the Punnett square, in reality, things are more complicated, nuanced, and shaded, but I feel like these are the main categories. Let's look at them one by one.

"Meant to offend" x "Doesn't look for offense" - the recipient might not even realize that the joker was trolling, and might even be inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt. This, hopefully, takes the wind out of the joker's sails.

"Didn't mean to offend" x ""Doesn't look for offense" - usually not a problem.

"Meant to offend" x "Looks for offense" - oh, boy, is this wonderful for the joker/troll. They got exactly what they wanted: a rise out of the listener/viewer.

"Didn't mean to offend" x "Look for offense" - once called out, the joker will probably be apologetic. But it won't matter, because they'll be smeared all over social media for their inadvertent offense, even if they apologize afterward.

Whatever the case, the best way to handle these situations is to not assume the worst of the joker. If the person is particularly offensive, a simple explanation of why they're being offensive is a good way to start. Like "Hey, look, some people might take offense at your suggestion that we should run over bicyclists when they're on the road." If they continue to make jokes about scoring points for hitting bikers, then you know they're trolling and should be shunned.

Well, I've already banged on long enough, and I still can only remember one time when a joke actually offended me. As it was offensive to me, and not funny, I don't remember many of the details, but it went something like: a missionary knocked on a door, and an atheist answered. The missionary calmly told her about Jesus, and she went to slam the door in his face, but something kept the door from closing. She went to slam it again, still wouldn't close. Finally, the missionary said, "You might want to move your cat out of the way."

Like I said, not funny. But the way it was told (again, I can't remember it exactly) was in the standard format of a "joke." But look, I've been studying and practicing humor for decades, and I can't find anything funny about this. Is it an example of what passes for humor in evangelical circles? I know some evangelicals, and they have a sense of humor, so I don't know.

Is it trying to say that the atheist is blind to what's right under their noses? If so, they've got that backwards.

Is it a rag on cat people? That's one of the things that can offend me, so it's not only not funny, but deliberately hurtful.

Not to mention that jokes about hurting animals aren't funny in the first place.

But like I said, no point broadcasting my reaction for all the world to see (until now, when it becomes relevant as the response to a prompt). Just file it under "reasons not to engage with door-to-door religion vendors."