Toadette's Story

Chapter 48 - After-School Battle

☆ Age 10 - Fifth Grade (Year: 2002) ☆

“You losers ready to believe me now, or do you still need more convincing?”

The opposing students trembled as I juggled the ball from foot to foot. Suckers. They talked a big game before facing me. But suddenly I pick up the pace and these idiots act like confused Pokeys. This wasn’t even serious football (soccer); it was gym stuff, literally in the gym due to a chilly thunderstorm.

On the sidelines, my biggest fan was cheering me on. “¡Eres la mejor, Toadette!”

“Thank you.” I pointed to the illuminated scoreboard. “But 40 to zero isn’t that impressive. How about we see if we can get into the hundreds!?”

“She’s a psycho.”
“Never thought I’d be afraid of Queen Sweaty.”
“It’s like she’s some kind of speed demon!”

“Ey, somebody’s gotta put Toadette in her place! Are ALL of you bitches!?” The coach was exhausted. No matter what lineup the opposing team had, they didn’t stand a chance against me. Oh, Minh T. was good—surprisingly so considering her allergy to physical activity. But how was someone as soft as a dandelion gonna go toe to toe with Toadette? Hell, there wasn’t even a Red Team anymore. I’d been doing this alone for the last couple of minutes, just for an extra challenge and the bragging rights that came with it.

“I’ll volunteer someone.” I immediately found my target. “Jolene doesn’t have anything better to do.”

Ah, Jolene. Had pink spots like Minh T., but she wasn’t anywhere near as lovely. She always walked around with her head in a book, and in P.E., she was the laziest of the bunch. Well, except for any kid who was fat. Her legs and arms were skinnier than mine, and it looked like all her muscle was disappearing. Ugh, and don’t get me started on her fucking snitching. Anybody who prevents you from cheating on your homework is an enemy.

“Jolene, throw that flat booty meat on that court! For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE get Blue Team a point! I understand why Toadette’s momma’s always tired. If I were her, I’d be drinkin’ every goddamn day.”

While my mood couldn’t have been better, Jolene’s grimace as she stepped in front of me got under my skin. She never looked at me with any sort of respect.

“I’d fix your face if I were you.”

She adjusted her glasses and silently tapped her foot on the floor. Her literal foot, as the girl never came to school with shoes. By now, I’d gotten nice and comfortable in my thick sneakers. Meanwhile, her feet were black as coal no matter the day.

“Blue Team, this is your last chance!” The whistle blew.

As soon as the ball hit my foot, I made a dash for the goal. Ah, how nice, the sound of two idiots smashing their caps together as I dribbled the ball past them. Constant zigzagging and twirling made my movements as unpredictable as a spinning teacup at an amusement park. Time to launch this ball and bump the score to 41!

“HAA!” I flipped around and backwards-kicked it into the net. The goalie was too paralysed with fear to try blocking me this time.

“OOH!”

Why’d the crowd make that noise? When I opened my eyes, my smile began to crumble.

That bitch… How the hell did she catch the ball like that? Not only was she doing a handstand, but she was holding the ball between her toes. That alone was a shock, but I got a case of whiplash as the ball whooshed past me. And I’d removed my goalie! So the class let out a round of applause now that the Blue Team’s score left the realm of nothingness.

“Between your face and that move, you’re dangerously close to making me mad,” I said to the frail-looking girl.

“Something we can finally agree on.”

“I let my guard down ‘cause I felt bad for you, ugly! It’s not happening again!”

“Get her, Jolene!”
“One minute left!”
“Should make her smell your foot if you win!”
“I’m still on your side, loser or not, Toadette!”

It was a fluke, nothing more. With less than 60 seconds to go, what was I gonna complain about? These spore brains couldn’t score more than 20 points, let alone 40.

“I almost feel sorry for you,” I snickered, taking the ball under my foot. But with a mischievous chuckle, I started dribbling down the court again. Dodging, dodging again. And the ball was gone! Who took it!?

Damn, how did that banana-haired freak get the jump on me? Her speed was nowhere near mine.

Then there came this bright flash. It was a pinkish glow that almost made Jolene look radioactive. W-Was she psychic? Was that how she stole the football from me!? Vile, Goomba-breath cheater! Whatever she was up to, I wasn’t gonna give her the chance to show off anything wild. I ran up to kick that ball away from the now-levitating Toad.

“OUCH!” As soon as I got in her vicinity, my body sprung back like electricity was pumped through it.

“Oh shit!” The coach took a step back. “I ain’t even seen one of you do this! ‘Bout to get heated up in here!”

“Heated!?” I asked.

KAWOOSH! BOOM!!

Suddenly the ball split into several flaming spheres. One by one, they scorched the goal net, causing the score counter to go haywire. Blue Team’s score just kept rising, while mine couldn’t go any higher than 40. Okay, wasn’t too bad at first… More or less 15, that was manageable. But then it entered the twenties, then the thirties, and my worst fears came true when it rose to the fifties.

60, 65, 70, 75… I covered my mouth, hiding the squeaky sound of terror from the rest of the room. Holy shit, she was in the hundreds!! That was impossible!! How did… What the hell kind of trick was that?

Even with more time, I couldn’t close that lead.

Coach blew his whistle one last time, fanning himself with his shirt. “Blue Team just roasted Toadette’s ass in the most crispilicious fashion I’ve seen!”

“That’s not fair!” I screamed, trying to raise my voice above the celebratory screams for Jolene. “She cheated with some magic or rare item!”

“If you had ever read a book, you’d have known about Mega Strikes and how they’re perfectly legal.” The winner gave me a smirk, bowing before her fellow classmates.

“Since Toadette decided to drive us all crazy, Jolene, you get to choose which activity she’s gotta do.” Our coach pointed to my blackened eye. “I know her mom, she’ll approve of whatever you got in that genius little head of yours.”

Jolene wiped her glasses on her shirt, the whole time eyeing me from head to toe. If she didn’t wipe that smirk off her face, she’d be heading home with some cherry-red lips.

“Can I pick two, sir?”

“Fuck yes.”

“What is wrong with you people!?” The waterworks were opening up again.

“To apologise to the class for dismissing them all as losers, I think Toadette should lick the bottom of my foot.” Jolene lifted her dirty sole in the air. “Just one lick, anything else would be unnecessary.”

“I will kill you.” Tears were streaming down my face at this point. Too bad I couldn’t shout this statement at full volume without risking a serious suspension. Damn threat policy. “You’re dumber than I thought if you think I’m gonna—”

“Lick her foot! Lick her foot! Lick her foot! Lick her foot!’

“Get off me!”

The other students had formed a huge wall, pushing me towards Jolene and her disgusting bare feet. And to my left, the girl who was supposed to be rooting for me. Traitor! Minh T. blindly chanted along with those assholes, being one of the ones to pin my shoulders to the ground. Once enough Toads had trapped my legs, Miss Nerdy lifted her long foot over my face.

“NOOO!”

This was foul! Her foot looked sickening, covered in all sorts of outdoor mud, indoor dust, and what appeared to be a dead spider on her big toe. Ugh, even at a quick glance, all of that was enough to make me queasy.

But she dropped it on my face without hesitation, and two Toads had pried my mouth open. So, her foot slowly slid across my tongue, leaving a trail of muck behind. And I thought gelatine was gooey! This mud was all cold and sloshy and—

“BLAAAARGH!”

“Gross, gross, gross! She threw up!”
“Sick! It’s like a fountain!”
“Aw hell nah! My fucking floor! Toadette!”
“¿¡Qué has hecho, Toadette!?”

Still towering over me, Jolene was laughing. Too bad I didn’t puke on her fucking feet. She deserved every last bit of this disgusting treat.

“Considering our similar backgrounds, I’ll never understand your disdainful attitude towards me.” She folded her arms. “And as for my apology, I request an item from you.”

“Fat chance! Go bite into a Poison Mushroom!”

I was used to walking home barefoot, even on rainy days. But this was the first time I’d walked home with only socks on my feet. Why did it feel so strange to have them wet? They weren’t as strong as shoes, of course, but my feet were getting wrinklier by the second—more so than if they’d been wading in a pool. Ugh, and at this point, they’d probably smell like spoiled milk.

Minh T.’s umbrella was the only thing keeping the rest of me dry. Her mission this whole walk was to not make me feel like shit for losing my sneakers to an absolute cunt of a Toad.

“My mom’ll buy you a new pair tomorrow. No big deal.”

“That bitch made me look like an idiot. That’s a big deal.”

“You were talking a lot of smack back there, Toadette. Learn to do Mega Strikes. Jolene’s not as strong as you, so imagine someone with your muscles pumpin’ out kicks like hers.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trying to be a pro football player isn’t what I’m interested in. Looks like a lot of work.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” When we reached the porch, the harsh wind picking up, Minh T. asked another question. “Hey, what’d her foot actually taste like?”

“Did you not see how I painted that floor!?” I shuddered just recalling the specific mashed potato-like texture of the filth. “Wipe it from your memory! It never happened!”

Inside the house we went. I gave the usual call to my mom that I’d arrived, and in traditional fashion, removed my… Well, I didn’t have any shoes to take off at the front door. Best I could do was peel these socks off. Considering they’d been soaked for more than a mile, getting them in the dirty clothes bin was top priority.

“Put ‘em with the other laundry?” I asked Minh T., dumping the wet socks in her hands before running up the stairs.

Yeah, my feet were indeed super wrinkly. Holy fucking shit, socks were cursed when wet. Yet at the same time, it wasn’t like my feet were drenched or anything. They were a strange combination of dry yet soft. My skin was already quite light, but this little trek through the rainy streets had my soles looking like uncooked biscuits.

Mommy always said not to shower when it was storming, but whatever. Not the first time I got away with it. Plus, I didn’t dare to take a whiff of my feet in this condition. I’d lost so much food in my stomach that I’d end up barfing up the actual organ.

I checked my drawers for some pyjamas, plucking out the shirt and panties. That out the way, I just had to take off this backpack and strip. Into the closet—

“JUMP ATTACK!”

I’d only opened the door a bit, but in within seconds, I was on the floor. If I hadn’t recognised the high-pitched voice, a few punches would’ve come from this red-haired beauty. But instead, this surprise attack from DT had me laughing.

“Yahoo! I gotcha!” He pinned me down with his four-year-old arms.

Ah, it was gonna be one of THOSE days again, wasn’t it? He wasn’t even gonna give me time to wash myself? Alright, time to dust off the vocal cords and entertain this squirt.

“Fungah! Did you think your puny little jump was gonna finish me off, Mario?” I shoved the boy off me (gently), then hopped to my feet. “Demon King Bowser’s invincible! No one can defeat me, ‘specially not a pint-sized spaghetti-slurping plumber!”

“Are you a-forgetting about my-a ultra hammer?” DT reached into the closet and pulled out one of my white flip-flops—these were about as strong as a tough sandal.

“A’ight, let’s dance, pepperoni breath!” I got into a mock fighting stance, arms up like the Koopa King himeslf. “I’ll let you get in a punch or two just to feel good, but then I’ll roast ya!”

Immediately, DT swung the shoe at my chest. The kid was clearly aiming for my face, but he was a head too short. Then we went for my legs. All the time he was throwing in a “yippee” or a “wa-haa” as if he really was the Mushroom Kingdom’s great hero. He even swung back the flip-flop in the same style Mario would with his ham—

“So long-ay, Bowser!”

OW! He jumped and struck my in the mouth. I actually felt that one…

“I’m gonna crush you like a Goomba!” And I picked up the spunky boy, spinning him around until I slammed him (softly) to the ground. Then, as he screamed, I put my foot over his mouth. “How does it feel, Mario, to know you’re gonna die under the feet of the mighty King Bowser!? Gwahahahaha!”

DT squirmed under me, trying desperately to pull my doughy foot of his face. Aw, I wasn’t even using that much force, and he still couldn’t get me off him. Hehehe… All that running in the gym caused my feet to work up a sweat, and though the socks should’ve absorbed that, the weather should’ve caused a new reaction—one I didn’t want to see myself but had no issue watching my little brother test. Just what he deserved for thinking he could defeat me so easily.

“Looks like all the life’s gettin’ pumped right outta ya, huh? Yoo-hoo, I’m talking to you.”

“CHOMP!” His yell gave me a shock, then he followed it up with an action. He gave the ball of my foot a nice bite.

“KYAA!”

As soon as I leapt up, the boy ran downstairs, giggling. Heh, two could play at this. He got a nice little headstart, but in seconds, I’d already made it to the ground floor. Somehow, Minh T. was in the same exact spot, my wet socks still in her hands. But whatever, DT was the target! Past the kitchen, he’d dived onto the living room’s worn-out couch.

“I win, Bowser!”

“I don’t remember giving up!” I landed on top of the boy, panting. “Why don’t you tell the king exactly what his royal feet smell like!?”

And my feet returned to his tiny nose, this time, pinching it between several of my red-painted toes. Hehehe… The air from his nostrils tickled like crazy, to the point where I almost slipped off the couch more than once. But the longer I had my feet in his face, the more aggressive his sniffing became. Aw, was he trying to tickle me so much that I’d lose my grip?

“You gotta speak before you die, Mario! These things have been through the wringer!”

“YOUR FEET ARE STINKY!!”

“More specific than that!” My stomach hurt from all this laughter. “You’ll never go free with an answer like that!”

“Like those stinky herbs Mommy buys! Please! Mario quits! Mario-a quits!”

“Finally.”

Lifting my feet from his face, the sucker could finally breathe again. In just ten seconds, he did everything to get the stench away from him. Fanning his face, rubbing it on his T-shirt, rubbing it against the couch cushions, EVERYTHING.

“Are feet supposed to smell that bad, TT?” He rubbed the water coming from his eyes.

“Mmm-hmm.” I embraced him in a hug, kissing his flared cheek. “Which is why under normal circumstances, it’s rude to put your feet in someone’s face like that. I can just do it ‘cause I’m your big sister.”

“Are mine bad?”

“I don’t know, silly. Maybe. Just pray to the stars you never have that sweat issue I have.”

DT put his hands together, dropping to his knees on the ground. “Dear Holy Star Spirits, I wish that I never have feet that smell anywhere near as awful as TT’s. Make mine smell like Minh T.’s when they’re very clean. Amen.”

My jaw dropped. “Minh T.? Why are hers better?”

“She’s always playing with flowers. Maybe her feet sucked up their smells. You’re friends, don’t you know?”

Minh T. sat criss-cross, to the right of where my feet dangled. “What you two talking ‘bout now?”

“He thinks your feet smell like flowers.” Yawning, I let my left foot drop onto DT’s cap. “No, I don’t wanna know what those smell like at all.”

“I got good-smellin’ feet,” she giggled.

“She’s lying, DT. If her feet smelt good, all her crusty flip-flops wouldn’t look like the bottom of her foot burnt a mark into them. And besides, she wore sneakers today. WITHOUT SOCKS!”

Scoffing, my best friend turned to the side, her face a few inches away from bumping into my feet. As soon as she did this, I instinctively tilted DT’s head to the side with my foot. Anything to keep him from getting a whiff of Minh T. I might have smelt bad, but her lifestyle meant she had to be a dozen times worse.

“Sniff my feet, Dane T. Huélelos.” She scooted closer to him. “Toadette’s treating you like a baby. You gonna take that?”

Convincing a four-year-old was literally child’s play. Minh T.’s foot crawled up the side of his face until it could shimmy around to the front. Once there, DT started sniffing.

I noticed that his face got redder, but that was about it. It would happen to anyone in an awkward situation such as that. But Minh T.’s reaction was the real strange one. Why was her smile so wide? No laughing or anything, just a creepy grin as my little bro smelt her chubby foot.

Tap, tap, tap…

Ew. Imagine someone’s slimy toes tapping on your nose like that while they’re staring like they wanna eat you. Based on the cable box’s timer, DT was smelling her foot for at least a minute. So, I finally separated the two.

“How was it?” Minh T. asked.

“Wow… Can you teach TT how to smell like that?”

“Traitor!” I gave him a soft kick, making him laugh alongside the other chucklehead. “She probably just filled her shoes with lotion.”

She lifted her leg high. “Care to take a sample?”

“Hell no!”

SLAP!

“Watch that mouth, TT.”

Fuck. I didn’t even see the fun-killer approaching. My mom pushed me aside and curled her lanky body into the couch. Couldn’t even get me a napkin for the blood oozing from my lip. And as if I wasn’t already sick of feet, like some cruel joke, she put her giant monsters right on my lap. Not even ten seconds, and she was already trying my patience.

“Y’all are eating pizza tonight, I got a few extra coins today. Rub my feet, TT.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Thanks for not doing the dishes last night like I asked.” She wiggled her toes. “What you waiting on?”

GAH! Why couldn’t I get one day in fucking peace!? While massaging my mother’s ugly feet, she turned the TV to one of those news channels: Jubem News. On it we saw something that was almost paradoxical. It was Princes Peach in a salon, getting her feet professionally done. Around her were a bunch of Toads, some Lakitu cameramen and too many microphones to count.

My mom sighed. “See, treat me like they treat her. Use your thumbs, TT! Come on, do I gotta ask Minh T. to rub my feet!?”

Maybe I would’ve applied more pressure if I wasn’t coming home bruised every single week. Just thinking about the last frying pan incident made my left eye twitch. And this witch expected me to rub her nasty feet like she was royalty? Haha, fuck her. Better off asking some hobo in an alley for something gross like this, oh wait, she already did.

“I’ve never seen Her Highness’ feet on video before. They’re so big.” Minh T. sounded as squeaky as a deflating balloon.

“Not like it’s that noteworthy.” My mom pushed her dry heel into my lap. “I like seeing how she changes her look every other month. This time she’s going for some wilder hair and trimmed her eyebrows. Most royals too stubborn to change, but not this one.”

Princess Peach had been in charge of the Mushroom Kingdom since I was three. I barely remember who the previous ruler was or what they were like, but so far, I enjoyed seeing our princess whenever we could. There was just a fun to her that you never got from watching the monarchs in other kingdoms.

At the scene, a Lakitu asked, “Princess, tell us if you’ve ever noticed that certain foreign underground communities have made an effort to…capture images of your feet.”

“Why, of course.” She moved her feet away from the pedicure lady and wiggled her wet toes in front of the camera slowly. “Hello, creepers.”

“I was going to ask what you thought about that, but—”

“It’s flattering but disturbing the lengths few will go just to see my feet of all things. Sure, my feet are pretty dainty, but they’re not always like peaches.” She whipped her hair back. “Let me tell you, sir, and I hope those people are watching. If they even think of coming to Toad Town to tickle my toes, they’ll face a respectful punishment worthy of indecent scum. The tame option would be shrunken with a Mini Mushroom and forced to live inside one of my well-worn heels for a day—one with a smell so vile that even a dumpster can would cry—but then there’s an alternative too questionable to mention on television.”

And after Her Highness showed her pearly whites in a cute smile, the camera switched to another angle, one where her feet were less prominent.

“That’s so disgusting,” I whispered. “People actually stalk girls because of feet?”

“No one’s gonna be stalking you anytime, TT, don’t worry. If they do, they’re probably confusing you for someone else.”

“You don’t know that,” I said, squeezing my mom’s foot tightly.

“I guess. If you dress like a pantsless slut like you do at night, then they’re bound to rub themselves all over you and your feet.” My mom kicked me in the side. “50-50 chance.”

Minh T. looked up at me, and JEEZ! Her face was red as hell. And while she was dry outside, she was sweating bullets right now.

“You okay?” I asked.

She went to say something, but quickly shook her head. “Nothing! Just don’t worry about what she’s saying. The news guy said that these were foreigners, so they probably have weirder foot-focused cultures. Not us here.”

DT tapped my foot. “And your feet are too stinky anyway, TT.”

“See, you’re ugly, your feet smell like shit, and all this is about non-Mushroom Kingdom citizens anyway. All the odds are stacked against you, TT.”

The screen showed a final glimpse of Peach’s large foot getting cleaned again, with the princess waving at us.

“To all my citizens, I love you each dearly. Until next time.”

If only she had been my mom…

***

— THURSDAY: 5 days before the festival —

Yeah, that was back when I respected the princess.

Now in present day 2011… Fuck me, sleeping was a nightmare. I got so hot that I stripped to absolutely nothing. It was like someone had cranked the temperature up so high that the dial snapped off. If I hadn’t been hooked up to this breathing thingy, bet that my nose would’ve been clogged with boogers.

And although Minh T.’s feet were next to my head all night, even that had its drawbacks. You see, over the hours, my sense of smell had been reduced to nothing. All I smelt was sickness.

“I hate this.” I must’ve muttered that 20 times. Of course, my sore throat added more difficulty to this simple expression of frustration.

I woke up at 5:00, so said my phone. But this wasn’t my first time waking up tonight. Getting some shuteye couldn’t happen when every few minutes, I’d be drenched in sweat again. I went to the bathroom every time just to dry off, which lead me to continuously detaching and attaching myself to the breathing machine. At this rate, I was considering continuing the rest of my night in the bathtub.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I groaned each and every time. I looked like a corpse—pale as a Boo, with the only colour in my skin belonging to my reddened nose.

“Thank you, Peach.” I reached out, pretending to choke her by her skinny neck.

After tossing the rag on the rack, I didn’t return to the bedroom. Why risk falling asleep when I knew I’d be greeted with a puddle of sweat? Hell, the Sun would rise in an hour or two anyway. Instead of staying cooped up in here, I could sit on the balcony. Just needed a roll of toilet paper to stop any snot that might leak out my nose. Oh, and a towel to cover my body.

Quiet as a mouse, I unlatched the sliding door and stepped into the cooler outside. And as soon as my feet touched the balcony, my heels went up in the air. Fortunately, they didn’t have to fear the cold for too long. Because in seconds, I plopped into one of the two plastic chairs, resting my feet on the small table between them.

Ah… Even with the night breeze, I’d have been better off sleeping out here. Not only was my body temperature lowered within minutes, but I could feel the sweat finally leaving my feet.

Okay, that was easier said than done. A lot of it left, but there was still a lot of sweat between my toes. Simple solution: rub one foot between all those little crevices. It took a lot of squeezing, especially on the smaller toes. You’d think I was trying to force mud out of those areas. With a little extra pressure, though, the sweat would come off or soak into the foot, where it’d eventually drip down.

“Can’t smell anything…” I wiggled my right foot’s toes. “But does my tongue still work?”

Considering that half of this balcony had walls on both sides, there wouldn’t have been any neighbours eavesdropping. So, now was the perfect time to let my curiosity get the better of me. After all, if I’d lost my sense of taste, meals were gonna suck balls. Hard.

I brought my right foot up to my face, and ew. The bottom of it wasn’t the cleanest, especially now that I’d come out here. I hadn’t noticed it before, but it certain hadn’t been swept in a while. There were little sediments and dust hairs on the upper half of my sole. Brushing them off did restore smoothness and cleanliness, but to get my foot 100% clean would’ve required another bathroom session.

Maybe that was for the better. I wouldn’t have gotten much taste from a clean foot in the first place.

“You’ll be fine, Toadette. It’s… It’s just dirt.”

My tongue trembled as it left my mouth. With enough coaxing, it made the dive to the middle of my sole. And since I’d avoided letting my heels touch the floor, it meant that all the particles were concentrated in one area: that pocket that seemed to be a trap for everything. Up I went.

As I ascended, I forced my tongue to leave its pointed state and flatten out. For the more of this filth I tasted, the better the sample size would be. It had already manifested on the ball of my foot. Without even chewing, I could feel the crunchy bits sticking to my tongue, clinging on for dear life during the climb. If I had one specific target in mind, it was the big toe. Doesn’t take a genius to guess why.

So far, I’d picked up a few hairs on my tongue, but nothing too lengthy. The big toe, however, had a large particle on it. While I would’ve flicked it away, there was an issue. It was pretty much smushed into my toe, like a flattened piece of shoe gunk when you wear sneakers without socks. Ew, and it just looked super sticky.

“I can do this.” No confidence in my voice whatsoever.

I closed my eyes and took a mighty lick up my big toe. Feeling that the grime bit was still stuck, I put the toe right in my mouth. I sucked and sucked, using my teeth to lift the dirty chunk off in some way. Believe me, this thing’s taste went beyond rancid, more so than the other particles which just had a faint saltiness to them. It was like dipping your tongue in a vat of cold vinegar. But with enough prying, enough suction, it began to loosen.

POP!

“AGH! GROSS!!”

Now it could finally join its filthy companions down my throat. I took one last gulp and slammed my foot down on the floor, panting.

“Yep, definitely can taste things! Least it’s not all sloshy and muddy.”

“You ain’t freezing out here?”

My mother had poked her head past the door. I quickly wiped my mouth, preferring to stare at the vast horizon in front of me. Being 24 floors up in the sky might’ve been uncomfortable, but the view was quite a sight. Especially when the city was shrouded in black. This was when Mushroom City was at its best visually. All the otherwise dull blues and greys magically came to life with bright lights everywhere at this late hour. It wasn’t even quiet, as it would’ve been in Toad Town. You could hear parties from every block.

“You’re from one of those colder cities, huh?” The woman came out in a sweater and pyjama pants, filling the remaining empty chair. “First guess would’ve been Nimbus Land, but they don’t exactly take kindly to Toads.”

“Toad Town…”

“Oh, like us then. Yeah, we only moved here about six years ago. You know, I felt I had to get my life in better order for the kids, so I looked for larger jobs. Had to get a friend to put in a good word for me, but now we’re doing a little better.”

“Little better?”

She placed her huge feet on the table next to my left foot. “If I could’ve told myself to wait ‘til later to come to MC, I would’ve. What are the odds that I move here at the same time that hobgoblin Wario starts wrecking the place? All that Scapelli nonsense running around wasn’t like this years ago, girl. All the money’s been wack since then.”

“Thought this place was always bad.” My speech started to slow down as I crossed my feet at the ankles. Because now I wasn’t just looking at my own, but those of my mother’s. While I definitely wasn’t attracted to them—no way would I be—I could still see the similarities after years of separation. Both of our feet were longer than they had any right to be.

“Wario had his own Diamond City. He didn’t need to come here, but give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile. Only thing I can guarantee is that the princess will take care of him soon.”

I had to agree with her. Slightly. After all, if Peach didn’t care at all, we wouldn’t have been sent on this mission to spy on the fat man’s goon squad.

“Are you looking at my feet?”

“NO!” I looked down at my trembling hands. “I’m just a little tired.”

Now she was laughing. “Sorry. You looked like a zombie for a sec.” And then my mom started nudging my feet with her toes. Again and again…

I couldn’t keep my eyes on my hands for long. Just a quick peek at the toenails would be fine, right? Unlike mine, my mom’s were very long, and she obviously hadn’t had a pedicure in a while since they were unpainted and slanted. To have her sitting to next to me without all the screaming and insults was surreal. Like a scenario that shouldn’t have been happening… And now she was teasing me with her feet, a game she would’ve never played when I was a little girl.

“I saw what you and DT were doing last night. He’s been making like deals like that since he got in kindergarten.” She placed her soft sole flat against mine. “Be glad the kid took a shower or you’d be unconscious.”

“Unconscious beats feeling this poison in me.”

“His feet can smell pretty toxic on their own. I’m convinced he likes it or something. I had another kid, and she was worse. Way worse. Every time she took her shoes off, it was like a swarm of stink bugs had crawled into someone’s shoe and died.”

Whoo-hoo! My feet were still smellier than his, so I had one point over the boy. But…

“Had?”

She shrugged. “Long story short, you know that big attack on Mushroom Bridge back in ‘05? Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Well, that turned the mood on its head. Oof… Damn, this meant that Minh T. was absolutely right. So, they really thought I died when I made that escape. How? Sure, there was an explosion on the bridge, but I still had most my stuff with me. Why would they even guess I’d take that one specific route back to Toad Town? I could’ve smuggled myself on a flight or taken a risky swim.

“Fuck, my kids got too many names. The girl’s real name was T. Ana Junior, named after yours truly. Then I called her Toadette ‘cause I wanted her to be my only girl—pretty fucking stupid in retrospect. But Toadette sounded too long, so the family called her TT. TT and DT, my angels.”

I pulled my feet away from hers and sat cross-legged, keeping my head down to hide my face. There might not have been any tears, but there was a ton of worry that anyone cuold’ve spotted. Even someone with a red mop covering their eyes.

“And if she’s not dead?” I played with my hands, unable to string the sentence together without stuttering. “If she actually survived and came back, how would you feel?”

“I’d be livid.”

Okay, might have to change plans…

“I don’t know how you were raised, but lemme teach you something for when you got young ones. Don’t get pregnant at a young age, and treat them like children, not tools.” She sighed. “I got some control over DT, but TT’s where I fucked everything up. Wasn’t a week she came home without me putting my hands on her, sometimes just for talking to me at the wrong time.”

She stood and gripped the edge of the colder balcony. “I kept telling her she wasn’t allowed to date. I got mad when she brought Minh T. over the first time to our house. I broke her nose once just ‘cause she walked in on me smoking a Fuzzy. I loved partying, drinking and sex more than my own daughter! I was some fucking mother!”

The air finally began to make me shiver.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, this is just…”

“Okay.”

“I’ve told Minh T. the same, ‘cause there ain’t no good reason to do what I did. As a mom, you’re supposed to love your kids, not have them like slaves around your house.” She turned around. “And to answer your earlier question, if TT just happened to stay well hidden all this time and suddenly popped up one day, I’d be angry at myself for letting it happen. But I’d be ecstatic to have another chance with her. Missing six years of my daughter’s life is better than not knowing the girl past age 13.”

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you,” I said, sniffling.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”