Ins and Outs of my Life

A letter to my Husband

 (This entry was edited by suzydiana on 07-15-01 @ 10:19 am EDT)

Honey,

I put this in my journal as I know you are more likely to see it as you snoop in here.
I do not know why this site makes you so jealous! I have never seen you ever jealous of anything i do, so I don't quite know what to think of it! In a way, it is kind of nice to know you want me and my time so bad. But, on the other hand, you need to understand my feelings too.
First, I want you to know (as you already do) that I love you more than words can express! There is no one else in life that could and has ever compared to the love I feel for you! Except for God, you are first in my life!
Now I want you to think of something in life (besides sex), that you love to do. Maybe golf or watching the Braves or snow skiing. Now think about if you never got a chance to do those things you love. Wouldn't it stiffle you? Now when you do those things do you ever think of me and the time away from me you are missing? I doubt it. More than likely you are thinking how much fun it is to have time to yourself and enjoy doing whatever it is you are doing. And in doing whatever it is, are you loving me any less or feel like you should be spending time with me?
My favorite hobbies in the world are reading and writing. It relaxes me and gives me time to myself. Someday, I would like to become more serious and perhaps become published even. When I sit down at the computer late at night, it is usually after the kids are settled and you are watching T.V. or sleeping (so it seems).
It has nothing to do with you. I am not avoiding you. It is just the only time I really have to myself. Sometimes, yes I get tired while I am at the computer and I am too tired for time with you. But most of the time that is not true! I just want you to understand that I do need time to myself. All day, I am giving to everyone and i don't give anything to myself. I need this time for piece of mind. Esp. when Fall comes and my work schedule gets even more hectic where I have to give even more of myself. It is an emotional thing all day with me in dealing with kids. I need time to myself! Just sitting here and reading and writing is relaxing and I enjoy it! So please understand! I love you and I still have plenty of time and love for you!
THe reason I was keeping my journal so private is because it is such a part of me that it is embarrassing to have you read it. I don't really mind, but some of it sounds so personal that it is corny. Most of it is things you already know about me, but it is just like you are reading my mind when you read it! I feel almost like I am naked when you read it! Of course, you like that last line!! And last, I think you know but I want to say it anyway. I would never ever cheat on you. In person or on the internet! I know you know that but I just want to reassure you that I love you so much that I don't even think like that! And even if I wanted to have an affair, I wouldn't because it is so wrong!! Honey, you know you are the man for me!!!! I love you so much!!!! Even when you make me mad!!! LOVE<
YOUR WIFE