A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Mish

I'm back again.





Mish

So what's Mish?

Mish is where I live.

Mish was formerly known as Mishton before the goverment cutbacks in the 1980s. We also lost all of our stop signs and sidewalks. We're no longer on any maps...to save on printing costs.

Mish is home to all kinds of interesting people...like a group of well intentioned apple pickers from one of our local apple orchards. They wanted to make a difference in this world...just like in all those famous Hollywood apple pickin' movies...so a group got together one lunchtime several years ago and formed "APACFUC" or "Apple Pickers Against Children From Uncaring Countries...I think their name sucks.

In order to raise awareness about children from uncaring countries, every lunchtime, these folks chose an apple each. Then each one of them writes a dedication on the apples that they've chosen. Then they eat the apples.

I don't think they've put enough thought into their awareness tactic but it's caught on with branches at all the nearby orchards...(sorry about that)

When I questioned one of them on just how they are helping children from these uncaring countries by writing on and eating apples he told me that over the years they've written on and eaten lots and LOTS of apples each.

Their wish is that there will be NO children in any uncaring country, so that these countries will eventually wither and die or else be invaded and wiped out by a more caring and compassionate country.

I'm glad I now realize that I can add these journal entries...They're my own way of making a difference in this world.


UPDATE

After reading over this thingy on Mish, I was curious to see APACFUC in action, so I took a trip out to Farmer Stemmon's apple orchard one noon hour the other day.

I got to see the group in action. Most of them had just written their dedications on their apples when I showed up. Once again I inquired how they were helping children and once again I got the "lots and LOTS of apples" speech along with "Any day now and the uncaring bastard's hearts will surely melt."

Trying hard not to be condescending, I pointed out to them that although their intentions were admirable, I can't see how children were being helped in any way by what they were doing. This didn't make me very popular. Voices were raised and I was given a lecture on the shoeless kids from Eastern and Western Maltveiar, the pantless kids in Upper and Lower Solmanzstan and the hairless kids from Inner and Outer Yackim.

By speaking calmly and using very few three syllable words, I thought my point was starting to sink in, at least among some of them. I heard a few say..."Ohhhhh. Now I get it!"...but it quickly turned into a shouting match between those who got it and those who didn't...which turned into a 15 minute apple throwing fight, (the first in three years).

After a broken windshield and Albert Albright lossing a few teeth, Farmer Stemmon managed to calm them down somewhat.

It was agreed that APACFUC had to change their tactics if they were really going to make a difference in children's lives. Someone pointed out that "95% of all apples are picked by apple pickers,(the other 5% are "picked" using a bulldozer or chainsaw, making them only good as apple juice or apple sauce) and as almost all uncaring countries don't have any apple orchards to speak of, maybe all caring apple pickers should stop picking and we'll starve the bastards."

I could tell that Farmer Stemmon wasn't too pleased with where this was going. He suggested that if APACFUC wanted the uncaring countries to start caring, then all the apple pickers should work longer hours and pick more apples. This wasn't received very well and it looked like the apple fight might continue.

Someone suggested that they contact the President and see if he couldn't spare "an aircraft carrier for the kids" and a few cruise missiles to "bomb the uncaring bastards."

I was impressed with how quickly they realized that by not picking apples, they wouldn't be getting paid or technically, they wouldn't be apple pickers anymore. The thought of changing their name to TNAPACFUC,(Technically Not Apple Pickers Against Children From Uncaring Countries), was too confusing they all agreed.

In the end they decided:

1...Not to work longer hours or pick more apples.

2...That maybe it wasn't a good idea to nuke the uncaring countries.

3...That not picking apples would be a hardship on the people who like apple Pop Tarts, a hardship on the sicko's who put razor blades in apples at Halloween,("the bastards"), a hardship on the thousands of primary school teachers and a hardship on all the mothers who love to bake apple pies for their families,("the bastards")...they were still worked up from the apple fight.

4...That the uncaring countries probably wouldn't starve if they couldn't eat apples anymore.

5...That I scream like a little schoolgirl when I get hit with an apple.

6...That to further bring awareness to their cause, they would no longer write a dedication on the lots and LOTS of apples they would continue to eat everyday.

7...and I was banned from ever setting foot in Farmer Stemmon's orchard again.


Footnote

I noticed today that the "Mish Messenger", the local newspaper, ran a short article about APACFUC, under the heading, "Local Apple Pickers Increase the Pressure Against Pantless Kids"...I live among idiots.