Varying Shades of Gray - My Life

A Little History and the Last Several Days

First off, let me start by saying that I am a gay man. If that offends you, then you are more than welcome and ENCOURAGED to leave now. Yeah, i do have a bit of an attitude today. Where do I start? Well, my sorta BF (though we're not a couple at present) and I got into somewhat of an argument Saturday. JC does not feel that I should be helping JMC as much as I am. JMC is a very very dear young man that I know and yes, adore. He is current;y in a psychiatric clinic for some problems he's having. And before you even think it, NO! HE'S NOT CRAZY!!!!! He just has some personal issues right now that he's trying to deal with. We're not sure exactly what those problems are yet, though. Anyway, I've been having session with JMC and his psychiatrist once a week, now it's twice a week. His doctor has told me that JMC seems to feel more comfortable with me there and tends to open up more, when I am there. Even though, he didn't at our last session on Thursday. Now to JC, he thinks I should back off because he's afraid that it's gonna bring me down. Yeah, it's brining me down to see my dear friend like this. But, like I told JC, I will do whatever is necessary to help JMC. I just want JMC back and back to himself. I tried to explain to JC that I would do the same thing for him or any of my other dear friends, there's only a few I feel that strongly about. Yeah, i would worry and be concerned about them, but to do ANYTHING for, that number is limited. I can name JC, JMC, BOH, JC's cousin and his boyfriend DC and IV among those.
Anyway, JC is just worried about me and I know that. But at the same time, I can NOT back away from helping JMC either. That's just my nature. Once I consider you a dear friend, you're a friend for life. I may not like everything you do, but I will always try to be there for you. Some might say that I need to get my priorities corrected. Who's more important, JC or JMC? I honestly cannot answer that question. They are equal to me. I don't even know what the hell I'm trying to say here. As I said in the description, these are ramblings of my life. It doesn't help JC is in another state, six hours away right now, either. He's away at university right now. And yeah, I worry about him too. He goes to classes about 20-25 hours a week and works 40 hours a week. I know he's young and all, but dammit he's gonna tear himself up doing that kind of shit, too. Don't get me wrong, I truly admire his work ethic and his determination. But, he doesn't HAVE to take that many classes right now, all at once. Yeah, it means he can finish his studies sooner and move back. But, I want him to be healthy at that point too. Even if we don't get back together officially, I know (or at least hope) that we will always be close.
Anyway, enough of my bitch session.
Some more about my other friends, now. :) JC's cousin DC and his boyfriend IV are two very sweet guys. They are always taking me out to eat and inviting me to parties that they have. I have my suspicions that JC has them "keeping an eye" on me. ;) And they do.
BOH. :D He's just a very sweet young man also. He is actually JMC's bf. He lives so far away, though. :( He's one of the most precious people I know, even though we've never actually met. He is honest and as far as I know, always says what's on his mind. :) He reminds me ALOT of myself. LOL. Even JMC says that we're alot alike. Hehehe. I guess you could say that at the moment, I am his connection to JMC, since JMC doesn't have internet access, in the clinic. (At least I'm useful for something. :p) I usually chat with him at least once a day. And those days that I don't? Gawd, don't even ask. I don't HAVE to talk to him everyday, but it certainly helps. Hehehe. He such a BIG RAY OF SUNSHINE. He always manages to bring a smile to my face, no matter what kind of mood I'm in. He's just so precious.
Well, that's pretty much for me, right now. I don't know what else to say at the moment. I woke at 4:00 am and now I'm getting sleepy, again. Hehehe. I wish I could get my damn sleep schedule set to some kind of ordely fashion. But as I always say, "Oh well, s**t happens. If it didn't, we'd all be constipated." LMAO. See ya next time, hope I didn't bore you all to tears.