Just Jul Lee

Drawing From Yesterdays

Drawing From Yesterdays
Date: NOVEMBER 27, 2002

Well, Happy early Thanksgiving. I should just get that out of the way today so that if I forget at the end of this entry I won't feel bad.

I am doing alright today, dealing with guilt and doubt, dealing with yesterdays gone awry. I am not a depressed person, in fact, today I am not even remotely sad. I am tired and in pain.

My wisdom teeth are bothering me again. I am supposed to go to the dentist today to see how much it will cost to get them removed. I am starting to get a little nervous. It has to be done though.

An upside is that I am listening to Bon Jovi which always seems to lighten my moods and soothe me. At least I can count on music.

For me, music is relaxing and fun, invigorating and renewing. Reading and listening to music is the ultimate experience for me. Don't get me wrong, I love video games and movies but to honestly get me to relax, all I need are some nice jams and a good book.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am not looking forward to it at all. As wonderful as gorging till I burst normally is, I just don't want to deal with it. With any of it. I feel as though I just wish it was already here and gone, as though it was Monday.

Don't worry, I slapped myself already. NEVER wish for Monday. I don't like Mondays...Bon Jovi sang that with some guy...anyway, ahem!

So, this is an entry of rambling and thinking, thinking about tomorrows and yesterdays. I try not to dwell to heavily on my mistakes but here goes, the one paragraph in this entry that may depress.

I have a sin, a blight. We all do, actually, but this is one that has followed me for years. Yes years. I am so ashamed of it that I can't even tell anyone what it is. There is only one person, besides me and God, that knows I struggle with this. I can't shake it. If you are a Christian and are reading this, pray for me to get stronger in refusing the temptation, stronger in walking away. I get so angry and depressed whenever I stumble with this same sin...I need help and prayer.

And no, not even here will I say what it is.

Moving along, I am using this journal to kill time before I go to the dentist. One more hour. Time goes so slow when you don't take a lunch. I am dragging along on this Wednesday afternoon. Ho hum.

I want anyone who reads this to know that I am doing okay now. With the exception of the before mentioned sin, I am moving along quite well. I will hopefully be attending college in January, moving closer to my ultimate goal of becoming a doctor. I hope to have my first book published this year and I am directing the Childrens Church Christmas Play this year...although that is not going too well but let's not go there.

Well, what do you know...I remembered. Have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving!

I'm just Jul Lee, just a normal person with a talent, a talent others have as well. We have much in common...Welcome to Dragons Delyte and Faries Farce...Welcome to my world!