Life as we know it sucks

I knew it wouldn't last

Current Mood: obsessive

Current Music: Creep - Stone Temple Pilots

Do I really hold onto things too much? Do I really cling and obsess?

I don't think Jacob and I see eye to eye anymore. Basically, he told me to get over Matt today. I found out he likes one of my friends. I mean, she's really cool and all and I'm used to him liking girls. And my other "friend" Brittany, feels free to just talk about it all fucking period right in front of me. It rips me up inside that she would do that, than him liking some girl. Like I said, I'm used to it. I would probably punch him if he flaunted some girlfriend right in front of me.

And what kills me even more is that Jacob told me to get over him and to "date Danny or something." Is he crazy? How could I do that? I'm in love with him. I hardly look twice at any guys anymore. They don't matter. All that matters is Jacob. JACOB! And he doesn't get that! He will never get that. He'll never understand that he is my life. Whether he wants that or not. I can't even help it anymore.

<sigh> I hate him so much right now. I will never have someone who's always there for me no matter what. I don't have that with anyone. I don't think I'll ever have that with anyone. Anyone. I don't have friends like that. I don't even have Jacob anymore. I should have known this wouldn't last.