Effective Venting

Been a while

Yes, it has been a very long time since I've posted.....so those who actually read this need an update. We got a cat. I'm not sure if I said anything about that, but we got a beautiful calico cat named Abbygail. We just call her Abby for short. She's a very sweet little kitty. She's bad, and scatters her litter around, and climbs up our curtains, but really, she's a very very good loyal kitty. She loves to lay with you, and has a habit of massaging stomachs before she lays down. Its been a while since all that Jazz happened to me, including breaking up with my boyfriend. I tried several times to find what to write about the experience, but all I can conclude is that I felt so relieved when I broke up with him. I wasn't honest to a lot of people about he and I, and to tell the truth, I had another boyfriend. As if I need to justify my actions, I had the boyfriend I broke up with because of how little I got to even talk to my real boyfriend. Other that that, even the pathetic replacement "Asshole #2" (as we'll call him from now on) merely hurt me and confused me even worse. My mind was clouded, wondering if I loved my real boyfriend, but it got to the point where A.2 made me realize how much I should appreciate my real darling. After I broke up with A.2, I told my boyfriend, and he understood, and it makes me cry at how much I took advantage of him. I know now that I will NEVER make that mistake again. Given, I am a horrible flirt, and I fall for people often, but since that happened, the one on my mind has been Eric. I've actually been involved with him since late Freshman year. I'll be a Senior this fall. A.2 recently has been saying how big of a mistake he made hurting me, and has given me promises of love and romance. He even asked me back out, but for one, I will not hurt my love, and I will not hurt myself, or ever put myself back into that kind of situation. Yes, it is still very very very hard not talking to my boyfriend very often, and worse, there is a boy who visits my Japanese class who look and talks exactly like him, which makes me cry, but the difference from Eric and anyone else is that I know he loves me very much, and that above all, he is there for me, like I want to be there for him. I know he's mature, and he's sweet, and he's gentle, and he cares about me. He's handsome (how'd I get him? ;)) and I love every aspect of him, every piece of his personality something I want to know and love. Often times I come home sad or angry, and there have been times when I've completely blown him off, but he's always been tolerant, and reassured me. Its hard for me to express the severity of my love for him, but I know he feels the same way, and he tells me everyday. I hope that he will always be here to stay and that I will always be there for him.