Life as we know it sucks

A fresh fragrance

Current Mood: er....

Current Music: London Calling - The Clash

Have you ever slept with someone's clothing before? I have. I sleep with Shane's shirt every night, because it smells so good. And because it's almost like he's in the room and I feel secure somehow. He thinks I've done that with every other guy I've been with. I haven't been with very many guys, truthfully.

I like Shane a lot and I trust him. I hate myself for trusting him because that could lead to other, unwanted emotions towards him. <cough> If you know what I mean.

There's something totally different about this one. He respects me, he spoils me, he's so good to me - I mean, I've never gotten this before. I'm - lucky.

I love it when Matt sees me with Shane. <grins evilly> I just want to rub it in his face that I can find somebody better, too. I'm not using Shane or anything. I just don't want him thinking I'm still slitting my wrists over him. Because I'm NOT.I haven't done that over him in months.

Now, it's mostly Jacob. If I ever do it, that is. I miss Jacob a lot. A part of me is missing. A part of me died when he just took her back, when he shut the world out, when Steve told him he was "god." Very uncool, Steve.

I noticed the other day that Matt was doing [to Lindsey] whath e ALWAYS did to me. He was on the opposite side of the room, talking to Brittany and all of his friends. She was over there with her head down, all alone. I feel bad for her. She shouldn't have to go through what I went through. If I hated the girl, maybe it'd be different.



One last thing to leave you with . . . Things happen . . . and they happen for a reason. <sigh> (Sounds depressing)

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but i threw you the obvious,
just to see if there's more behind you.
eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy
but i see,
see through it all.
see through, see you