Life as we know it sucks

Some things never change

Current Mood: mmm, i dunno, im ok, a little tired

Current Music: no music.

8-3

Sometimes I feel that Shane is more serious about this relatinoship than I am . . . Is that bad? He's always telling me how much he loves me and that he never wants to lose me and that he could never hurt me. I'm very skeptical about myself, my feelings and all toward him sometimes also. I don't always feel as if my whole heart is in it. <sigh> I'm confused. I know I mean it when I tell him I love him, but something is still wrong . . . I don't know what. I'm thoroughly confused. Perhaps I'll receive a sign and it will help me understand my predicament. Hopefully anyway . . .


8-5

The confusion is gone. Nothing is missing. Nothing. I guess I sort of did receive a sign. Shane was feeling very nauseated yesterday and I was very worried about him. Just like today . . . He was supposed to call when he got home from taking me home. He still hadn't called 40 minutes later, but finally did. I hate worrying. <sigh>

It's nice to care. It's nice to be cared about. It's especially nice to know you're cared about, to know you're loved. I know I'm loved. He told me he would shoot himself if he ever hurt me, like car accident and that. He never wants to hurt me even if it's unintentional. You should never believe that when some guy says it - they all do . . . but something about the way he kisses me, the way he says he loves me and no doubt about the way he actually says he won't hurt me makes me think otherwise. I can't help it. I believe it. I love Shane. That will NEVER change.

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but i threw you the obvious,
just to see if there's more behind you.
eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy
but i see,
see through it all.
see through, see you