My True Soul

Delirium = freestyle

Do you ever have those days where the thought of a bullet blasting through your brain actually seemed like fun? Today feels like that. Though I should be having a problem in not going and getting the gun that is in the closet of my bedroom... the thought isn't even crossing my mind of really doing it. I won't. That's all there is to that, I won't.
Why the sudden change in mood and such?
You have bad days, you have good days; today wasn't good.
Will tomorrow be better? Perhaps.
I've lost something, I've lost the knowledge of something that glues together pieces of my heart and soul. It's only temporarily gone, I know that. It'll be back. But until that time... the pieces are scattered on the ground.
I gotta be the one who picks them up and glues them back together again. Somehow, without dumping more pieces on the ground. Not only that, but I'm afraid I may be slightly confused about who's glue I want to use. There's reliable Elmer's, but maybe you just wanna see if Rose Art will work, just this once. So, I think I'll just tape the pieces back together for the moment.
I need sleep. Thank goodness for sleep. I just hope not to have any nightmares.
Must get job. Must write guy back about group.
The group meeting was tonight, I missed it. The next one is in 2 weeks. I am going to it. I wish I was a cat, I really do. April, you've wanted to be a cat before, haven't you? To sit around all day and pur, it must be nice. Course, would you realize how lucky you had it made? Would you realize that it sucked because you couldn't do the same stuff? Or would your brain not even be big enough to have those thoughts? When it comes to this... the only way I'd wanna be a cat would to have a brain that couldn't realize that your life sucked. Being a human, your brain does realize stuff sucks, but you can also think of other things that don't or you can think of a way to do something new.