My True Soul

Latest Meeting & New Trend?

Last night surely was interesting. It's nice when you have something to go do. I had an advising session at 5 and my GLBF meeting at 6.

My mom's been having a fit for me to go ahead and start taking business classes, etc., cause she feels it's vital. I think it'd help me, but, those of you who know me... you guys already know I try to avoid math. I don't do well with higher level math, least I don't like the severe strain it causes on my brain and perhaps I'm taking the easy way out by not 'challenging' myself with math. Anyways, so I asked my advisor...she said it probably be best for me to just focus on psychology, unless I wanted to spend a couple more years as an undergrad. She's opened her own practice and done fine without having a minor or major in Business. Also she said she wouldn't recommend a minor or anything unless it just "really lit" my "fire". Now, the fun part of this will be telling my mom that.

I was in the Psych building until almost 6:20. My GLBF meeting was just 2 buildings down. When I got out of the advising, I was gonna go to my car and put up my stuff, but...I was thinking I didn't wanna waste anymore time. Then, I really was debating if I should go ahead and go considering I was 20 minutes late...5 minutes, no problem, but 20? Yeah, well, I said screw it, I'll be late, cause I really wanted to see if any new girls showed up after the group posting like 200 fliers around campus. I walked in and saw her...in which, I started blushing, lol.

They briefed me on what'd happened and pretty much, there were a buncha new guys, lol. As usual. Justin decided to formally introduce himself, lol... he was like "we really do need more girls it is the gLbf!" and he starts going through how maybe they're just all busy or something. Well, the other 2 meetings I've went to, there were 2 different girls... didn't think they were cute really... the one yesterday night.... wow... yes, beautiful. So, they were going to Pizza Hut and I was thinking "I really need to study...so I may as well go home, plus it'll be awkward" Then, lol, I was like "wait, you need friends, that girl is REALLY cute, she's going... some of the other guys that seemed nice are going... I wanna go...but, grrr, I already walked away..." (You see, I have problems, lol) Then Kenny saw me, motioned for me to come over, introduced himself and all...he's so great, lol. Asked me if I was gonna go, then Kurt was like "you should!! come on!!!" and all.

I called Lily to tell her about this girl, her name is Amanda, and....Lily screamed at me, lol. She has this thing against girls named Amanda who are either blonde, have curly hair, or both. (This one has curly hair) But, I was like "well, I do need to study..." "NO you don't, you get your a$$ to Pizza Hut right now and go see the cute girl!!!! You can study later!!!!"

Ironically, it was family night at Pizza Hut... ahem. That was rather amusing, there were 8-10 gay guys and then us 2 girls. Amanda was just smiling and then said "oh yes, we're all family.... *nods* family indeed" it was so funny.
I spent about 2 hours around her and Kenny. I was with the others, but, they had their own convo going. Anyways, she's amazingly beautiful. Sarah was so close to everything I wanted physically. I like darker hair, but I actually love a medium to light brown. I love pretty eyes, but I'm fond of green. Amanda's got medium brown hair with blonde highlights, it's curly, she's got green eyes, glasses, dimples, perfect teeth and smile, great laugh, great voice, great legs, nice everything. So, yes, I have a wee bit of an interest in her. *rolls eyes at the words 'wee bit'*

She's from Arkansas, so we're both out of staters... yay for us. She's from the one part of Arkansas that ISN'T flat, oh my goodness!!! LoL. She seemed so nice tho, and she's got these expressions that are so cute. She's also a biochemical engineer...(K, I'm impressed...). I knew she was at least 20, but hey, some sophomores are 20. Heh...I found out she's a senior. Which, no, I guess that's not much older than me...I don't have a problem with age unless it's way too young, but then we're still cool as friends, just not gonna date them. She's gonna be 2-3 years older than me. But, I still find that most older women don't seem to be interested in me, perhaps it's because I am so timid? I'm not really sure. I just know that seems to be how it works out. But, I just hope something really great comes from meeting her. Either I get another great friend who, lol, I've already been able to talk about girls with! That tripped me out, we were talking about my advisor and Amanda looks at me and asks "Isn't she sssooo hott?!" I mean, Sarah did that, but...it just... wasn't the same. It wasn't face to face nor in public. Or I get someone to date, doubtful, but I'll keep my hopes up to an extent.

Ah yes, and the way she sits in chairs, lol... she hooks one arm/shoulder behind the back of the chair...it's cute, lol.
Lily and I were talking about how I've gotten where I kinda like girls that are taller than me... I didn't know why...just think it's sexy. Lily explained it to me "it's cause her chest is in your face then... that's why!" lol. Lily's also picked up on the type of girl I like. I don't like girls that are really kinda, forgive me, but "butch" or "dyke". However, I don't like girls that are really really girly acting. A little tomboyish or a little girly, but not extremes of either. Maybe I'm weird for that.

I hate the labels tho, that's why I said forgive me for using those terms. Someone asked me if I was a Femme....I was just like "look this is how I am; I wanna be able to hold her and be held and it not be a big deal...if it is gonna be a big deal, then forget it."

I was watching the news today, read that there's now a 60% acceptance for gays adopting. That makes me so happy. Most all homosexuals I know, they love kids. There were these lil girls at Pizza Hut the other night and several of us were watching them and smiling so big. I want kids one day. And, I just think after all the stuff most of us go through, we could definitely promote an understanding and loving environment. And the times are a changing...I'm glad I get to be part of the group that's gonna start changing things.

Which brings me to another point, maybe some of you have noticed this. Why is it now a popular trend to be bisexual? Maybe it's a good thing, because it's becoming so common, it's not met with as much negativity, but other than that...it's just annoying. Hopefully most of you know this, but there's a lot more to being bisexual or homosexual than who you like to have sex with. Sure, that's part of it. But, um, if you're bisexual...then you should want to have ROMANTIC relationships with both sexes, not just sexual realationships. If homosexual, then you should want to be in a romantic relationship with the same sex, not just have sex with them. And this goes for heterosexuals...it's like "DUH" when it comes to this...you should want to have a romantical relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It's not all about sex.
Then, those of us who really are bisexual/homosexual... we get our emotions screwed with. And maybe, some people, don't realize they're messing with human emotions when doing this stuff, I don't know.
And thirdly, why would you want to put yourself through the persecution of society for your sexual orientation if you aren't even of a non-traditional sexual orientation? I'm proud to be who I am, but goodness, I fought myself for 2 years cause I wanted to be "normal" because I knew it'd be EASIER. It prolly wouldn't make me as happy, but hey, it'd be easier. Then I decided that I had to pick a path...it was pick the nice paved gold road or make my own path...I decided to make my own.

I can't figure it out. Anyway, my kitten is actually being sweet...earlier she was attacking and trying to kill my right hand. I'm also hungry.

Goodness, my mom freaked out the other night cause I'd ate 2 meals a day and not 3. I mean, she went into that whole "I'm so pissed at you" it was so... just... grrrr, I hate when she goes into that worry mode. She never was that bad until I moved away...now she is more often. It drives me nuts. It's like she's gonna call me when I'm 30 and make sure I ate or something. And, grrrrr, well, then again. My parents won't be too happy with my sexual preference...so they'll probably not care after I tell them. Anyways...kitty is being sweet, giving herself a bath, BUT GOODNESS, she has such HORRIBLE stinky BREATH!!!!! *passes out*