My True Soul

Under better control...

My life has been somewhat interesting the last few days. I have gotten certain aspects back under control. I do realize how I feel about certain people and things and that just makes it a lot less confusing.

I figured out what my dream meant. Yay!

I talked to Miss April about some important feelings.

I know what my answer would have been. It woulda been yes.

And I talked to Skylar about some stuff also.

Now, if I can just get Sarah to stop confusing me, we'd be great. She wants to ask something, I don't know what. I don't want it to be what I think it could be. Right now, no would be that answer.

I wrote Kat, she wrote back, quite a few sentences. I finally wrote her back tonight. She's changing like crazy.

I guess we all go through periods where we are super confused and we fight to find who we are at that moment in our lives. It's very hard sometimes because you have to think a lot about at and at other times, it just happens and you don't even realize it. It's a lot easier to just change without realizing it. And it does make me wonder if we ever really find ourselves. I actually think.... we do find ourselves but we have moments of doubt and sometimes those moments are so powerful and so fearful. We momentarily loose sight of who we really are.

I feel like I'm falling down a tunnel at times when this happens.... I loose sight. I'm falling and I'm trying to grab onto something I know is true. Last time that happened, I didn't grab onto something of my own...I grabbed onto the words of someone I trust. That works, but only when ya trust them that much.

And Halee called me tonight, I actually called her back....she didn't answer, but, I called! I was gonna check and see how she was doing. I haven't talked to her in a week and 2 days. That's like, lol, forever, haha. She hasn't called everyday, it's been nice. I still was told I was mean for not liking her, basically. Mmm, whatever.

Eric's coming into town later on today. I've missed him. I talked to him about a few things the other night... he told me just to "be patient" lol. Sounds like most other people. Yah, and tonight he helped me out MAJORLY. Sarah asked me to help her, Eric told me to talk to him or give him something to do, sssoooo, lol, I asked him to help me help her, lol.

And I'm gonna go somewhere with Lily sometime tomorrow afternoon? Yeah, after I take a nap, I've stayed up way too late tonight, but I just wanted to write some stuff down.

Santa Clause 2 characters = Cupid, Tooth Fairy, Mr. Sandman, Father Time, Mother Nature, Easter Bunny, and Santa of course. They're sssoooo cute. And of course, Mother Nature is gorgeous.

*Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream/Make him the cutest that I've ever seen/Give him two lips like roses and clover/Sandman I'm so alone/Don't have nobody to call my own/Please turn your magic bean/Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream*

Anyways. There are other things on my mind, but... yes, I guess this is for now.
Ah ha!!! I got my poster of the 2 girls kissing that I've wanted for... like 9 months? Yay!!!!!! AND I got one of Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Goodman, and Duke Ellington. I love jazz ssssoooooo much, especially them. Heh. It makes me happy.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

(or whatever you prefer to celebrate... may it be the best!)