My True Soul

Because You're Worth It Mints!

As usual, I've been thinking.

I've came to the conclusion that when deciding something, you should ask for friend's advice but don't let their advice be what you go by just because you think a lot of them.

Sometimes, it seems like I get lost within deciding things, but in the end, it all becomes clear. My heart is undoubtly right for the most part, it's when my mind starts making decisions (with some things) that I make more mistakes.

Also, I've discovered I really don't like one of my close friend's close friend... lol, yes, that makes sense just read it slowly. It seems I try to and I try again and I just can't do it.

Amanda's probably going to be going to school here in the fall cause she's running for position of secretary for the GLBF. I don't know, I found kinda a journal of hers from the school webpage that she has. It's interesting. Also leads me to see more of what kind of person she is... which is... yah. I don't know... nonetheless, I'm swiping some of the quotes. I'll put them below.

Uhh, yah... phone...Halee. It's 12:20 there. She's crazy. Goodness. The other day she basically told me to consider a possible relationship with her...that's so completely not going to happen. *shakes head* I just acknowledged what she said, did not say okay, did not say no. If I say no, as I have time and time before, she asks why. Then she'll tell me I'm way out of her league and try to make me feel bad. I'm not going to be in a relationship when I don't have honest romantical feelings for someone, it's wrong. I like talking to Halee and I told her I never could see us as being anything more than friends. She's a good friend, that's all I see. I thought she was over all of her feelings...I was wrong apparently.

I haven't talked to Shorty in a few days and it kinda makes me worry about the girl. But, she was going somewhere this weekend. Great, H just IMed me... Rach, ya know who I'm talking about.

Anyways, besides all that, I think today was one of the best days I've had in a while. Great weather for 1 thing. But mostly I got to spend a couple of hours talking to Rach without me being tired n sleepy. It was really nice.

Ah, and I talked to Sarah the other day. But besides that...Jake had told me that she IMed him out of nowhere to tell him that 4 guys she kinda knew were in a car wreck and died. She flipped out on him cause he didn't respond - he was in the bathroom - he's in a wheelchair so I imagine it prolly takes him a lil longer. Anyways, he basically told her off because she IMs him after never giving a damn about how he was because he was the only person online. He has a point, she only talks to him when she wants something. That's pretty much how she is with me at times.
Sarah told me her side last night, first thing she does is tell me that. She tells me what a jerk he is because she told him how those guys had been in the wreck, how she kinda knew them, and he didn't even say sorry. Stated the fact about him telling her off/being rude. And pointed out again that most decent people would have least said "oh, I'm sorry". (Ironically enough, she woulda probably fussed at me for saying that before.)
Both of them have valid points. But when Sarah told me that, it made me want to view Jake in such a bad light, but I really can't. I know he's not the most mature guy, but he's sincere when he listens to me and helps. He's curious to see how I am, vice versa. I completely can see both sides though... thus why I refuse to pick one.

As a side note, it may help to consider how important is the element of timing. There are two elements to commitment: One is finding the right person, and the other is timing. Are you both at the right point? Are you both ready? Just because you find the right person doesn't mean you're both ready.
keillor on true friendships and anger
You can't be friends with someone you're afraid to express anger to.
You live your life in the here and now, meeting whomever you will, feeling what you feel, expressing what is close to your heart, and from experience you gradually draw some conclusions about yourself. Don't worry too much about being gay or being ungay. Be with who you want to be with and enjoy their company and their wit and compassion and things will work out somehow.
Don't try to talk to someone who doesn't care to talk to you. The way to go through the closure process is to go back to the dance and enjoy being with someone who is eager to talk with you, who smiles at the sight of your face.