My True Soul

S-vegas! Oh yeah, baby.... *coughs*

I'm back in S vegas for a few days, with my parents. I do like it better here in a way. Our fam's dog, Natalie, she's with us and whimpering cause my rents are outside. I feel better to be back here in a way, it's away from my home and here...this is my place...all of it. I can be wherever. At home? I'm restricted to my room, that's the only place that's mine. Maybe that makes sense to some of you. I'm sure it makes sense to you Shorty...

Of course tho, since I actually have something to do this week, things that involve travel, activities that require sitting/standing for long periods of time, it will be that time of month for me. Isn't that always just wonderful? At least the cramps are over with, the rest isn't as bad after that.

Kim called me earlier, that shocked me. I told her I really couldn't talk at the moment, I called her back later like I had said I would, she wasn't there. *shrugs* I don't know. Maybe I'll catch her again sometime later. I figured she'd gone mia on me, again. She sounded so... down whenever I told her I had to go... grr, anyway. I called back cause I promised I would. I told her it would probably be after 9, it was 9:40ish...so. What can ya do.

I've been busy traveling and painting all day...great fun. Um, and someone called me from someplace in Washington, same area code as the one who shall not be named.

And now, Kim has called back... *shrugs* Oh well. Okay, I ended up talking to her for about 2 and a half hours. That was by far the longest ever. She thinks I'm a blast to talk to *raises eyebrow* and I didn't mean to sound so skeptical when she told me that, but alas I did. I asked her if she was nervous when she talked to me with her friend Sara(h) on the phone... (I will not like the prelevance of that name from now on, it's somewhat tainted in a way) she said she was really nervous and she was asking me what had been said about her when she answered a beep, I told her...she didn't seem to care. I kept yawning, made her yawn, then I stopped yawning and she kept on yawning. Then she's telling me to yawn and calling me a punk cause I started that. I just grrr'd at her...in which her response to that was "awww" "what??" "that's so cute" "huh?" "grrr *not in the same way i do*" "oh" "it is" "okay..." "really" "yeah, been told that a few times before...don't understand, but ok" "it's just so cute" "right"

Anyways, she told me not to get quiet cause that makes her nervous and then she doesn't kno what to say. I told her not to be so nervous...to just talk about whatever. I understand getting nervous. But, I mean, last night was probably one of the better conversations I've ever had with her simply because she was getting so sleepy that she was relaxing n not being nervous. *shrugs* Sometimes I get nervous, but normally it's not for long. She was surrouded by all these people and the oldest one around her was 14 I think. It was rather amusing.

I need to call Eric and ask him how things are going. How was his trip home, etc. I miss being around him already. I need to hang out with Kat before she moves, but, if things were like last week, she'll be far too busy or her parents will be so mad at her, I can forget it. I love Kat to death, but sometimes, I don't know. Sometimes she and I can talk, but sometimes things are so empty, it's an odd sensation. My mom and I were discussing my friendships the other day and how I always seem to change my "best" friend every 4-5 years. It aggravates me. I wanna go to FL and see Eric sometime before school starts back, don't kno if that'll work. And it's now that I remember that Sarah might be in TN right now. I really really want to give... OH, right, I need to go get her necklace and take it back with me. Right, that's what I want to give back to her... really want to give it back to her. No matter how mad or annoyed or how much I don't want to talk to Sarah, I can't do anything to that necklace. I want her to have it back and I shoulda gave it back to her while I was with her, but I didn't. Why didn't I? My last futile attempt to hold onto a relationship in which I probably sensed was dying. *sighs* Okay, I'm gonna go now...