My True Soul

A year ago today

Today I realized it was the 11th of July. I was trying to think why this date stands out in my head. It's not anyone's birthday that I know. But alas, a year ago today, I was in Washington. A year ago today, I was with Sarah... or perhaps it'd be a few hours from now and we were watching League of Extraoridinary Gentlemen. And tonight? Yes, tonight will mark a year since I kissed her, since I kissed the first girl ever. Tonight will mark the night I came back in, sat in a public place holding her hands, and it being so damn obvious that I was that happy.

And I can't help but wonder if she even remembers or if she even gives a damn. I'm sure she doesn't remember. I can't help but wonder, haha, if I really was a terrible kisser or not since she never would say. And I can't help but remember her asking me how she kissed and me being honest with her and her getting upset with me for being honest after she'd told me she didn't want me to make it seem better than it really was because of my feelings for her.

I also remember how I was bouncing up and down all night afterwards and how I'd called Lily to talk, even though it was about midnight. How Lily proudly announced she'd have to tell her mom and that shocking me.

And now, I remember thinking after we broke up how sad I would be today. How I would feel so much....but...ironically... I'm still happy and I'm excited. Who would have guessed? I wouldn't have, but like I said, I really am happy even with thinking of the things that happened.

It's funny how we humans are with love... you love with your all, especially with your first love, and then, when your heart's been smashed, you get back up and love again.