Personal Journal

New Year's Resolutions

New Year's sucked even worse than Chrismtas.
I wasn't - I am not seemingly done with 04. For most of 04, Jean was alive. For all of 05, she will not be. It will be my "first year" and it is ominous to have it announced so starkly on the new year.
Scrooge's Ghost of Christmas Future paid me a personal visit this year (another good writer's line, or perhaps not since it might be too personal to connect with).
I wasn't happy to see him. There's no way to go back and change the outcome he showed me.

But it was New Year's, and on my drive out of New Jersey to Maryland on New Year's Day, I thought about what I shall resolve this year.

I resolve to figure out for myself what god is telling me about my future and Jean's passing influences his plan for me. I resolve to give her death meaning and to work in my life to make me and Jean proud of everything I do from this point forward.

I resolve to tell my mother what Jean would want me to tell her. That I have little time for her because I find her an unpleasant person, and I make little time in my life for all such people.

I resolve to be a competent kayaker by the end of this year.

I don't make too many resolutions (the ordinary ones don't count - eat better, smile more, etc.). I did learn something from my mother (well lots, actually, but that's a story for another time). Set achievable goals.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn