My Life on a Plate

Tears For Fears

Today has started out in a totally different way to how I'd planned. Not sure if that's good or bad. Was going to do the humdrum tasks, bog cleaning included, and walk to lunch with my ex-colleagues. Maybe I should call this a bog instead of a blog, it seems to get mentioned an awful lot.

Very windy again and I'm running late for a number of reasons so abandoning the lunch bit, although I daren't neglect the bog of course. Going to the hairdressers later so not much time to spare.

You know, the views of this blog have now topped over a thousand which I find staggering. Fellow bloggers, are you getting the same response? Is it the 18+ rating that draws people, do they think they're going to get something juicy or gory in here? I doubt you will, I just rated it that high to be on the safe side and for expletives, which I do tend to use in writing. Or maybe it's just the natural curiosity of other people, we do enjoy looking at other's lives, nothing wrong with that. And as I've made a couple of new friends along the way I can't really complain.

So why the tears this morning? Came online this morning and got chatting to a friend in Mexico I've known for a long time. He's beating himself up about smoking again and wants me to support him while he tries to stop. I'll do my best but I'm hardly the best person when I can't stop myself. But I do relate to his fears and feelings so much; he imagines having to tell his two young sons he has cancer, he dreams of waking up feeling healthy and taking a run without even missing the ciggies. I wish him the best of luck; like me, he's a sensitive, self destructive person and wants to be more like others. I won't say 'normal' - I don't use that word as I defy anyone to define it, but I know how he feels. For some reason, his worries and pain hit a chord and I wanted to really talk to him and offer my support. It made me tearful.

Then I viewed a blog of someone who kindly commented on mine and more tears welled as I read of her personal battles and related to her fears and anxieties. Blogging has become something much deeper than I ever anticipated. I'm a big believer in fate, in everything happening for a purpose, even though we may never figure out why.

The internet has fascinated me from day one. Okay, it's caused some hassle at home (understatement) and I've had a few unpleasant experiences but I do believe, several years on that the few true friends I've made through it are meant to be in my life for a purpose. Maybe, to help them, maybe to learn from them, maybe to share something. I don't know but if all this tapping away on the keyboard touches someone's heart or helps someone along the way, then it's all been worthwhile. I'm honoured to have made so many friends on here too and the site itself is a wonderful, warm, inviting place. Long may it prevail and thanks to those who keep it such a special place.

Getting all emotional again, maybe it's hormones. lol Better go get the bog brush and see if I can get my head straighter. Or maybe I'll read a couple more blogs first...