My Life on a Plate

Peevish

I apologise if my entry today sounds selfish but I really am getting to the end of my rope. I'm tempted to put my life on e-bay and try and buy a new one.

I spend a lot of time with my parents under normal circumstances but for the last four weeks most of my life has revolved around them. With the exception of the three days my sister came over, I've visited my dad in hospital every day. Most days I've also visited my mother or taken her out somewhere. I've shopped for her, I've done my dad's washing, I've gone round at a moment's notice to put bins out or change light bulbs and take care of paperwork. I'm neglecting my own home, my social life and my writing.

I know we need to appreciate and care for our parents but I'm starting to feel drained and very stressed. Today I've spent two hours at their house while the social services brought my dad from the hospital to assess how he'll cope at home and what adjustments will need making for safety. I now have a list of jobs that need doing as well as arranging meetings with solicitors to gain power of attorney and filling in numerous forms for allowances.

I haven't been anywhere apart from my writing class and swimming that hasn't had something to do with them. My dad is going home tomorrow and I thought I might treat myself to a day shopping in Nottingham. Nothing personal but I have a lot of birthdays to buy for over the next few weeks and as yet, cannot even think about that 'C' event in December. But, now the social services have decided they want my dad to be supervised whilst cooking for the first few days. My mum isn't capable of doing it, so it looks like it's my responsibility again.

I know my dad will say he's fine and doesn't need me to go, but if I don't I'll only worry and feel guilty. I'm reading about people writing 5000 words a day, shopping, visiting places and generally getting on with life and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever have one of my own again.

It's six in the evening. I'm in the middle of getting a meal for my family. I have ironing to do and my hair is in desperate need of washing. Then I have to phone my sister and relay all the parent news.

I'm not asking for sympathy or a medal but I really am getting bogged down with all this. Maybe I should just get on with it instead of spending time on here, but surely I'm entitled to some time for myself. I wonder what happens to elderly people with no family or kids who live far away?

Oh well, stop grumping missis and move on to the next exciting task. Life gets tedious doesn't it? Mine does anyway. Will have a serious chat to my Lottery ticket again tonight. Money might not be the answer but it would sure make life a lot easier. Sorry for the boring ramble; think I need a good dose of laughing gas.