My Life on a Plate

Why Worry?

I think susanL hit the nail on the head by describing the post-humbug feeling as BLAH The urgency has gone out of everything, the hype is slowly subsiding and humanity feels tired, lethargic and a little deflated on the whole. I've survived another Christmas for which I'm grateful, I've gritted my teeth through the T.V. adverts for post-Christmas sales and foreign holidays and will no doubt be confronted by Easter Eggs when I shop tomorrow.

There has been nothing amazing or thankfully horrendous happened over the humbug period, but I wish I felt more energetic and able to tackle some of the jobs and projects I'd put on hold. But as usually happens, when I finally have time to do the things I've longed to do, suddenly they don't seem so important any more. Perverse and Procrastinate should be my middle names. I can't seem to settle very long at anything and I'm not sure whether it's me, the time of year or feelings of concern. Let me analyse what's bothering me.

1. My sister arrived today for a couple of days; something I always look forward to. She's staying with our parents tonight and here tomorrow so I've already booked a hangover for Friday. But, the weather isn't good. We have snow, freezing temperatures tonight and more snow forecast tomorrow. Selfishly, I'd love her to be unable to travel home on Friday but it's not practical. It will be a bit of a worry if it gets much worse but I'll still try and enjoy my time with her.

2. We're having a party on Saturday. (YES, you're ALL welcome! lol) We normally have one between Christmas and New Year but with everything falling at weekends this year it had to be on New Year's Eve. ANOTHER period I'm not fond of; too old now to believe in fresh starts and resolutions. Just a niggling fear of what may happen in the year to follow. I know, I know, I should live by the advice I give others - 'One day at a time, sweet Jesus.'

3. I'm worried about my online friends and indeed my own dependancy on the internet. My Mexican friend's father passed away on Christmas morning after a few months of health problems and it saddens me I can't offer more support from this distance. I haven't seen my Canadian friend online in nearly three weeks which is most unusual. Yes, I realise it's Christmas and people are busy but we have been friends a long time. This is our third Christmas and it's just not his nature to not keep in touch. He hasn't a bad or mean bone in his body and it's niggling me there's something seriously wrong. Such is the fragility of online relationships.

4. I'm wavering again on the writing class front. I don't feel ready or able to commit to writing every week. I'm presently trying to write a BANG entry, CC style (Believe me, it ain't easy! lol) but much prefer these sort of tasks than set assignments. I love the people in my class but still have this nagging feeling it's time I did my own thing.

5. I worry why at my age I still worry! lol I've come this far, every day is a bonus and whatever the future holds I've learnt there isn't a deal I can do about it. Well, maybe that's not completely true but I'm not fooling myself I'm strong enough or brave enough to make any dramatic changes to my life. I just want to accept my lot,appreciate what I DO have and make the most of every day.

Oh well, enough rambling. Time to crawl into beddy. Tomorrow is another day! Just hope the snow isn't up to the window ledge by then. I swear I'd be much happier in a sunny climate!