My Life on a Plate

Motherhood

Today is Mother's Day in England, or Mothering Sunday as it was originally called and a name I prefer.

Special days and occasions often leave me feeling pensive and rather sad if I'm honest, and today is no exception.

I think of all the people who no longer have mothers to love and send cards to and indeed of the mothers who have lost children and how days like today must be almost unbearable. I feel for those who never knew their mothers or are estranged for some reason. I feel saddened for those who so wanted to be mothers and never got to be. On every day of celebration, there are always so many who are reminded of painful experiences and loss.

Today I am lucky. I was able to see my own mum wipe away a tear as she read my card and share her pleasure in the new C.D.'s I bought her. My morbid side cannot help wondering how much longer I'll have my mum and what the future holds for her fragile and delicate state. Selfishly, I worry how I'll cope.

My stepdaughter and her twin boys bought me daffodils and a new duck. (Dumpy is a fitting name.) I appreciate that despite the fact she has her own mum, her husband's mum, two grandmothers and two lively little three-year-olds to look after she can find time and think of me on such a day as today.

I haven't seen my son yet today as he's been away this weekend, but he phoned this morning to tell me what a wonderful mum I am and wished me a good day. He's on his way home now and I know I'll have gifts and no doubt a couple of drinks to end the evening. Well, it is MY day. lol My son is the ONE thing in my life I feel I've succeeded with. He's a wonderful human being and I'm proud to have contributed to that.

Yesterday, he and his friend booked their flights and accomodation for the first stage of their travels starting in September. I'm excited for him, I envy him even and think travelling the world will be a wonderful experience for him. But I'm painfully aware that he won't be here for the next two Mothering Sundays and I know how much I'm going to miss him and worry. Not to mention the possibilities, probabilities even, of what might happen while he's away.

So, my reasons for reflection and sadness are manifold on this day set aside for Mothers. Don't get me wrong; I know I'm fortunate to have a mother and be a mother but sometimes both are heartbreaking roles.

Time for that wee drink methinks. Maybe it's the clocks moving forward that brings on these maudlin thoughts, or perhaps it's this stinking cold. But - 'Tomorrow is another day,' and even if it's just a trip to the supermarket and the gym, I'll just be pleased I'm here to be part of it.