The Time Without

Chapter Seven - Learning Curve

Chapter Seven
Learning Curve
Poem Forty-Two

Punctuation-What does it do?
by DragonBlue
December 30, 2005 ---Black Moon


The question was: Does leaving off capitalization and/or punctuation in a poem give a poem the desired effect we are trying to achieve?

I think that depends on the poet and the poem

         for if you listen
                   you really do create art
                             with words and then
                     the art begins to
                                create you. Before
                               to long you sway
                      you swing away
                         to your own
                    internal
           symphony...


To use lower case or Title Style?
I sit and ponder it a while…
oR nOT?!
That thought--
Three not four dots.
Are the ellipses...
trading kisses,
to leave an idea to wander,
can end and begin another.

Unless you want to SCREAM,
Your words to those unseen;
to Use the UppER CaSE lETTerS-
like this is terrible grammar!

And real bad manners!! HA!

Sometimes I get so tyrannical and annoyed,
When my pen stops for an exclamation point!
My beat gets interrupted,
Then I add a period.
If I pen an apostrophe;
As if it was accidentally,
It becomes not a plural word-
My meaning now obscured...
But possessive, with a new definition.
So finally, frustrated and in desperation-

I then try to use the colon:
Was that 2 subjects; without conjunctions?
Though a list can follow too,
A line between will also do.

I try to save the day; quotations adding class-
“I need an explanation and I need it fast!”
How much should I try to use?
Before my reader is confused?!!
With all this restricting punctuation,
When do I ‘surround’ a word with ½ of a quotation?

May I use exclamation point and question mark!?
The sentence must end and complete the start.
Parenthesis, make me think aloud…
To myself; (as I peer about).
Don’t forget to tie the noun,
To the verb subject bound.

Should I use the slash?
Or do I use the dash?
And if I use the slash,
With the ampersand;
Can I use it to imply,
It is yours &/or mine?

The semi-colon,
Has in common,
With a comma;
Break in rhythm.

Now what about the curly dame~
I can’t remember what’s its name?
Where does it go on my sheet?
Its Count is two with the beat~

I’ve always thought
That by not
Using these little signs
My easy rhymes
They grew to long
Tales and song
Epic story went on and on and on…
But this poem--proved me wrong!{c}

REVIEWS:
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#1. Review Of "Punctuation What Does it Do?" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: alfred booth (16)
Date and Time: 05-23-06 @ 6:59am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 318 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I expected something like dual versions of the same text and you pleasantly surprized me with your creativity.
You have written about a problem all of us free verse writers tangle with and you have done so extremely well.
The only word I will scream at you is the following: BRAVO
~~Image #1095454 Sharing Restricted~~



#2. Review Of "Punctuation What Does it Do?" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: milkywayman (2)
Date and Time: 04-22-06 @ 9:13pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 422 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Hello DragonBlue (5)
Like my partner
trouble & strife
I'm a grammar demon
and it is rife.

New lessons
for me!
I laugh, Haw, Haw.
Not for me.

So at learning
yet I know what I
like
Take it all away
and leave nothing in its
place

Then you will see
Trouble & Strife.

Milky



#3. Review Of "Punctuation What Does it Do?" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Sue - Son Home ... (16)
Date and Time: 03-21-06 @ 8:00pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 179 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Very cute, I am, most admittedly, punctuationally challenged. I get confused as well. However, I know what I like, and I like what I've read .... So Write On!

Sue


My Feedback; My Received Reviews For
#1071400 - Punctuation What Does it Do?
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Chapter Seven
Learning Curve
Poem Forty-Three

The Escape of Id


Across the intricate mile,
Moving in waves with style.
Conservative; yet with innate denial,
Then a look for thee to reconcile...

Thine own and mine-
Elegant to the sublime,
Uncaring of its own design,
Transcends the paradigm.

Balanced and yet aware-
Imparts a radical stare!
Then an exquisite flare,
Upon thy soul to bare.

In a timeless,
endless-

Casual trend,
Of itself-
Reflects and sends...

Ye are charged and must contend,
Before this sparring will reach an end-

Triumphant thee be and only when,
Id 'tis thy ally and closest friend.

This challenge ye meet-
formidable this foe!
Counter to defeat,
Let it flow...

Shearing thy flank-
Do not slow,
Focus thy strength!
Center thy soul-
Stretch thy length,
Tower above-
Thy alter ego!

For Win ye must!
Accept no less.
Contain it ye must,
Then tightly harness.

Light and energy it affects-
Self and Id as they caress...

Tumultuous waves be calm,
Balance within-
Self and Id beyond,
Champion the timid.

In harmony-
An empathic link.
Timed easily-
As One ye think.

Keep the Wheel and Quarters,
Personal and a sacred wealth.
Thy combined being forever;
The most acclaimed of stealth!

For element integrity-
Can never allow...

The Escape of Id!

REVIEWS:

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#1. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Lobelia is trul... (53) mamahobbit
Date and Time: 07-21-06 @ 8:23am
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 439 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Excellent combination of rhyme and the lyric formality of archaic words: ye, thy...

I am especially impressed that you have avoided here the sing-songy quality & forced nature I find in so many poems where the entire stanza rhymes with itself. Your words are rich- both content and form are exceptional!



#2. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Nesen (2) sean2099
Date and Time: 01-14-06 @ 9:19pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 329 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Dragonblue,

I enjoyed this poem as well. You described the battle of id very well. I only wonder how appropriate it is to use the term Id in a fantasy setting. It seems to present an anachorism but I am hard pressed to come up with an equally compact but more "fantastic" sounding word.

Nesen



#3. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Dave (24) drschneider
Date and Time: 01-14-06 @ 4:45pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (4.5)
Review Length: 164 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

The intricate entwining of the elements of the subconscious self in a balanced presentation with both rhyme and rhythm creates a superior piece of work. Great job!



#4. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: AliceNgoreland (50) alicengoreland
Date and Time: 01-13-06 @ 6:00pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 535 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

I like that your poems are in blue.

"Elegant to the sublime," I thought this was a good line.

"In a timeless, endless-"

"For element integrity-
Can never allow..."

These line I thought were very good.

Just looking to see if I am nuts or not but Id is a physiological term that you are referring to.

I like this one also. However my favorite is still the first one about the blue dragon.

Alice




#5. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Andrea (144) astephenson
Date and Time: 01-13-06 @ 3:33pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 387 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Good work, descriptively written.

Some suggestions:-

"Thine own and mine-
Elegant to the sublime,
Uncaring of its own design," - double own in a short space of time repetitive, consider revising.

"This challenge ye meet-
formidable this foe!" - double this in a short space of time repetitive, consider revising.




#6. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Kit is working hard (22) anestel
Date and Time: 01-13-06 @ 2:48pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 437 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem really made me think you have an amazing vocabulary. I think that is a strenght of yours.

One line that bothered me...Maybe I'm wrong, but I wanted to point it out in case it is a mistake.

Center thee soul-

Thee sounds wrong there. Are you meaning to say "the" or "thy"? Maybe it's just a spelling error or the. I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say with it.




#7. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Khalish (89) mcgupta44
Date and Time: 01-13-06 @ 1:35pm
Public/Private: Public
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 745 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

This poem is not for ordinary minds, the category to which I belong. I wrestled in my mind whether to rate it 4 or 3.5. I would have settled for something in between.

Ref:

Center thee soul-
Stretch thy length,
Tower above-
Thy alter ego!

>>>

Center thy soul-
Stretch thy length,
Tower above-
Thy alter ego!

***

Ref:

For Win ye must!
Accept no less.
Contained a must,
Then tightly harnessed.

>>> The last 2 lines do not convey the intended idea, whatever that might be, because of lack of grammatical soundness.

M C Gupta
REVIEW OF THE REVIEW: Well Mr. Gupta, looks like you are in need of some gp's again and are much to cheap to buy them. So you thought you would hit up my port and be the rude f*&^$#@ a##, you usually are. Hope you feel better now. Oh, did I not bother to tell you thank you for insulting my intelligence and my poetry. Have a nice day!



#8. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: DOT (24) entropy
Date and Time: 01-12-06 @ 8:59pm
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 411 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]



Sometimes I let it know, sometimes I let it go. It knows where it belongs though at times it does not long to be there and I can understand the reasons for its flight. It goes mostly in a straight line until it is out of sight. Then turns and comes back through the cover of the surrounding trees thinking I cannot see the forest. It is not escape it seeks but merely some adventure.

Keep Wrestling.


#9. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: meg71186 (3) meg71186
Date and Time: 01-12-06 @ 9:13am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (4.0)
Review Length: 288 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Another brilliantly written piece.
I especially love the use of a old english in this one. It really sets the mood of the piece, and fits in well with the genre itself.

I think Id is ID, thought, but other than that, I didn't see any flaws here.
Write on!


#10. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: - - - Uncle Har... (1) uncleharris
Date and Time: 01-12-06 @ 7:19am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (5.0)
Review Length: 269 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Good, good. A piece of free verse that actually rhymes, a very refreshing change from the usual muddle of words that people put together in the hope it will be classed as poetry.
I tried to catch you out on spelling but couldn't! Well done.
Uncle Harris


#11. Review Of "The Escape of Id" (nw) [Rated: E]

Review By: Heide needs a n... (10) ro312
Date and Time: 01-12-06 @ 6:00am
Public/Private: Private
Reviewer's Rating: (3.5)
Review Length: 553 Characters
Review Follows: [Delete Review]

Review

The Good
I enjoyed the imagery, the structure and the subject. This is an epic struggle, indeed :)

The Bad
I'm a little turned off on the language... but that is only personal preference. Also a few of the rhymes seemed forced in places.

The Ugly
nothing!

The Lowdown
Truly, a good work!

Write On!

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