Ten-Finger Exercises

Tuesday, 'tis over; welcome Wednesday

I have been writing on and off all day today--what a good day when I can say that. Actually got a flash fiction of the 'fiction' sort turned in, plus a couple pieces of non-fiction as well.

Here's the article I started writing just for fun. It's not finished. Maybe you have some ideas for more rules and pointers.

How to Choose a Toy for Your Grandchildren to Play with at Your House

“At Your House” are the operative words here. If the toy is a birthday present that you’re mailing to Pittsburgh, this article isn’t for you.

“Why?” you ask. You’re new at this, aren’t you? Or were you at work the whole first ten years of your children’s lives? Or maybe you’ve inherited grandchildren and bypassed those ugly parenting steps. Or senility has made you forget the feel of Legos underfoot.

The good news is: most toys have a suggested age range on them. That means you might not have to go through the embarrassment of having your seven year old grandson say scornfully, “These are for ba-bies, Gramma!”

The bad news is: there are sixty-two jillion more toys available now than when you shopped for your own kids, and these kids know the brand names of every one of them. Unless the kids are under two, there’s no fooling them by substituting action figures called “The Highly Unusuals.”

That’s Rule Number One: If the kid is set on a particular name brand, don’t monkey around. “Leggies” may build just as well; but, as I said, if the kid is over two, he’s gonna make you look cheap.

Rule Number Two: Hey, this one hasn’t changed for centuries. Make sure you know if the toy comes assembled. If it’s gonna be up to you, don’t even think how fun it will be for the two of you to build together. Your daughter doesn’t want her child to know those words yet.

Rule Number Three: How many parts does it have? If the information’s not on the box, you can probably count the pieces through the shrink wrap.

Rule Number Four: Now, you’ll need to be both creative and brave with this one. How many things can you think of to do with those, say, 100 parts?

For instance, if you have 100 inch long blocks, you can make a short wall that’s nearly 8 feet long, or a three-block-high brick wall of several feet. Theoretically, you could make a stack as tall as a three year old, but that probably wouldn’t work.

Anyway, there are a whole lot of things you can do with 100 blocks besides stuff them up your nose and drop them in the toilet. On the other hand, if you have a little dolly picnic set with 30 parts, and most of those are doll-size shoes and a picnic basket with knives and forks, the uses are limited. The pieces will get lost, and you’ll only find them after the kids have gone home and you stick your feet in your slippers.