Gemini Rising

Just some late night musings...

Well, the 4th of July has come and gone. Work was busy. We were holding over 200 calls on our non-emergency line. I had to call for an ambulance for 10 yr. old boy and 9 yr. girl who were burned by fireworks. The parents rushed the girl to the hospital. THE PARENTS!! My co-workers and I were just stunned by the fact that the parents were out letting their young kids play with fireworks to the point they got so burned. Where was the supervison??? Sigh...


I just want to thank my co-workers, too. They helped to keep my spirits up. Kathy Kravitz was wonderful, Mechelle sent me a text message and to those workers who I shared my story about my husband leaving, they gave me hugs and support.

You know what hurts? He hasn't called ONCE since he's been gone. So much for my kind, considerate husband, huh? I'm just hurt. What else can I say. Then, while I was at work I spied Deby reading THE RULES. So I thought I'd take a peek.

I discovered I was the biggest rule breaker there ever was. In my zealousness to work on my marriage after getting out of the army in 1997 I broke every single STINKING RELATIONSHIP RULE there was. Where did it get me? HERE. Not one phone call from my husband while he was gone. He didn't miss me. He didn't care enough to miss me. He takes me for granted. He's probably RELIEVED to have a break from THE BALL & CHAIN.

Reading THE RULES tonight really put a lot of things in perspective and things aren't as rosy I'd like them to be. Hell, if they were rosy and I had a great marriage, the BUM would have called at least once.

(Well, he did call once when he arrived, just to say he arrived. I talked to Andrew for 2 minutes and that was that. I don't count this time, because let's face it, did he miss me? No. He was just calling to say he made it and HE WAS FINE.)

So here I sit, in front of the computer, 11:52 at night, alone, sad, and hurt. I need a new leaf. I need a new something. Every married woman at work said their husbands wouldn't do to them what my husband did to me over the holiday and I believe them. I let Brent just walk all over me. Really, I'm taken for granted - and where did it get me? Here. I need to start putting THE RULES back in action.

I just want to thank Aunt Alma, Joannie, Aunt Diana & Uncle Lanny for having lunch with me. The food was delicious and their company helped to cheer me up a little. Still, there's nothing really that's going to get me over the sad fact of the matter that my husband really doesn't care much about my feelings. If he did, he would have called. If he missed me he would have called. If he cared about my health, he would have called. Hell, he would have never left his pregnant wife.

Just some late mussings. I have a doctor's appt at 8:50 tomorrow to check up on the baby so it's time for bed.

Hope you all had a chance to catch some fireworks. Steph