My Life on a Plate

Let It Be

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me.
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be.

As morbid as it sounds I have requested this song, along with 'Everybody Hurts' at my funeral. Not that it's my favourite but because that is the way I wish I'd lived my life and I'd like others to take the message on board.

This morning I awoke with another hangover and anger seething and knew my head would be thinking of nothing else but my son's bombshell all day. Not a pleasant feeling at all. I spent the whole morning making phone calls, sending desperate e-mails to people to see if anyone can talk some sense into my son and shedding tears. Paul has e-mailed me again but as yet I have not replied as I want some of those seconds, minutes, hours and days Tor so wisely wrote about to get my thoughts together in a calmer more logical way.

I made another decision this afternoon. For my own sake I cannot allow negativity and anger to eat away at me or I too will self-destruct and by doing so I will alienate my son. That is something I couldn't live with. So for the moment I am going to try adopting the attitude that whatever happens, there ARE worse things. Even if I have to pretend I'm not so worried and force myself to get on with MY life and allow him to make mistakes and learn maybe from his. In other words, 'Let It Be.'

It sounds easier than it feels. No doubt by tomorrow morning I'll be a wreck again but I MUST try to adopt the philosophy I wish I'd lived by, albeit a little late.

A lot of your words and supportive comments have helped me reach this decision and for that I'm eternally grateful.