My Life on a Plate

Confusion

I think I should be awarded a degree in confusing people; the older I get the more I do it. So, let me rewrite the request for contributions to the December issue of The Blogville News. Sorry to bring it up again. My references to 'Humbug' are just my way of avoiding using the word 'C*******s.' It's not my favourite season but I realise many love it and I don't have a problem with that.

So, what I'm asking for are letters, jokes, poems, anecdotes, lists and articles about 'C*******s,' written from ANY angle. Positive or negative, old or new, serious or comedic although I would prefer the Newsletter to be pretty light-hearted. So far I've received one poem. lol I know you're all busy but please try to send a little something to me soon. Thanks.

Supermarket day again. Woopdedoo. I'm sure there are more Mondays in the week than other days. I'll be rushing by those humbug aisles with closed eyes although I'm told these are some of the 'must haves' for C*******s 2006 -

1. A Nabazatag. This little desk-top companion which looks rather like a limbless white rabbit utilises Wi-Fi technology to fetch information from the internet and convey it back in various charming ways. A wiggling ear may signify falling stock prices, a certain pattern of lights that it's time to get up or a tune from Westlife that you need a bath. Well I never; how did we live this long without one?

2. A fun animal apron and glove mitt set. Since when did anything we do in the kitchen become classified as fun?

3. An inflatable, detachable beer belly. Perfect to fit under that Santa costume or for a pub crawl with the mates. I predict there won't be many sales around here - most males seem to already have a home-grown one.

4. Bog paper decorated with 'C*******s' images. The perfect companion for those of us who tend to mutter 'C*******s - my arse.'

5. Best of all, for the person who has everything - a pack of 'nothing.' That's right, for a price you too can own a package of 'nothing' although I gather the product is at the moment 'out of stock.' lol

It really is a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world.