My Life on a Plate

Extremes

I suppose if the weather was the same every day it would become rather monotonous, but I'd much prefer a lot more warmer days than these cold, dark damp ones. I'd also prefer it if everyone's body thermostat was the same.

I don't consider myself a person who tends to feel the cold too much - I don't generally need electric blankets, hot water bottles, gloves or scarves, but come the winter I seem to fight a constant battle with myself and others over maintaining a comfortable temperature. Take today.

Hubby allows the heating on for a couple of hours in the morning, which is sometimes a bit too much when I'm dashing (alright crawling) about doing household tasks. But just as I settle down at the computer, the heating goes off and I end up doing computer chair aerobics to keep my circulation going.

Then we go off to the gym which is nicely air-conditioned. But after an hour of agony on the treadmill, bike and weights (I will be thin, I will be thin, I will, I will,I will) I tend to be a little red and glistening and look forward to my swim in the pool to cool down.

Today the pool was empty - perfect for my fantasy about this being my own private pool at my huge mansion in the country and I'll be holding a WDC ball tonight and wearing my size 10 (that's small in England) red backless evening strap and matching five inch heels while I dance the night away with...

Anyway, it took a nanosecond to work out why the pool was empty. It was bloody freezing. After a few olympic speed lengths I jumped (okay clambered) out, shivering and shaking but consoling myself with the thought of my private hot jacuzzi which was also devoid of any bodies. You've got it - that was bloody freezing too. So were the showers.

After a juddering ride home hubby dropped me off then went to the hospital to see his mum. An hour to spare to catch up on WDC. Now hubby doesn't believe in having heating on in the day time and if I say anything about it being cold he just says 'Well, put the fire on then.' The fact the fire is in the lounge downstairs and I'm upstairs on the computer seems to elude his brain cell.

There was no point putting the heating on as by the time the house had heated up it would be time for me to go out, so I managed an hour in here whilst wiping condensation from the screen and breaking icicles off the monitor. A brisk walk to the parent's house cured me of threatening hypothermia.

Now, my mother feels the cold like no one else and will sit in a blanket with the fire on in the middle of June. Their house would be the ideal place to grow tropical plants and hatch ostrich eggs. So after a couple of hours of sweating cobs over the latest jigsaw and removing as much clothing as possible without offending mother's delicate sense of decency, I was counting the minutes until hubby fetched me to return to the igloo. Can't win can you?

I think a little alcoholic beverage is in order - purely for inner heating purposes of corset.