Second Helpings

Light Bulbs

I wish I had a ten pound note for every time I've been sent the old riddle 'How many men does it take to change a light bulb?' I know there are various answers to this as well, my personal favourite being 'One - He holds it there and waits for the world to revolve around him.'

But the latest thing I've been forwarded is entitled 'How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?' Apologies to anyone who's seen these, but I thought them rather comical.

Golden Retriever The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

Border Collie Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund You know I can't reach that stupid lamp; stop picking on me.

Rottweiller Make me.

Boxer Who cares? I can still manage to play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Labrador Oh, me, me!!! Please let me change the lightbulb. Can I? Can I please? Huh? Huh? Please, please let me.

German Shepherd I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any and made one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheepdog. Light Bulb? I'm sorry, I don't see no light bulb.

Cocker spaniel Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua Yo quiero taco bulb. (We don't need no stinking light bulb)

Greyhound It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd First I'll put the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

So, any dog-owners care to add what their furry friend would say?

I wonder how many cats it takes to change a lightbulb? Any thoughts on that one?