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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/503873-Feeling-the-Black-Hole-of-Doom
Rated: 18+ · Book · Emotional · #954458
Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!!
#503873 added April 24, 2007 at 9:25am
Restrictions: None
Feeling the Black Hole of Doom
Today was an total flop. I did get up an get some digging done outside for the vege patch but that must have used up my dedication, enthusiasm and energy because the rest of the day has passed in a strange kind of buzzing blahness. There were so many things I wanted to get done but I just couldn't call myself to action on anything. Anything I attempted to start wandered and then fleeted through my mind. Time passed and progress faltered.

Even now, as I'm sitting, typing my blog my mind isn't really present. I want to be elsewhere, doing other things. I was even tempted not to bother blogging tonight but brought myself back to my desk. It's important that I remain consistent. I mean it's easy to say, "I'll do it in the morning." But getting here in the morning will be just as challenging as getting here tonight.

I did that yesterday. Not my blog, but the review. I'm aiming to do a review each weekday but yesterday it was gone late by the time I came anywhere near to getting around to it so I forgave myself and set the reminder for the morning. Morning came and went with no review. Today's review has joined it in the 'to do' pile as well and I know from my past track records that it is the start of all manner of routine collapsing. Interesting that it only ever lasts and feels good for a few days. So much for developing a habit.

Anyway, I'm here and failing to concentrate, still. I don't know what to say so I'm not even going to bother. I was here and that's all I demand from myself. Sure, my personal standard insists I ramble on for a few paragraphs rather than writing an entry consisting of three words, "I woz 'ere", yeah that's more like 1.8 words or something. lol

Now I'm going to go waste my time on something brainless and hope that tomorrow is a better day.

© Copyright 2007 Rebecca Laffar-Smith (UN: rklaffarsmith at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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