Second Helpings

Rough Diamonds

I’ve been doing some hard thinking and soul searching over the past week. I know, it hurt like hell and my last brain cell is threatening to expire, but before it does I’ll record some of my thoughts for posterity. Share them if you wish.

I don’t like looking back too much. I have memories, both good and bad, but agonising over what might have been or regretting decisions makes no difference to anything. But I’m sure we can all see patterns in our behaviour and actions which can help us come to terms with present day situations.

When I was six, a friend passed on her pet white mouse to me as she’d tired of it. It was my first pet, imaginatively called Snowy and I spent many happy hours with it. I still remember the devastation I felt when it died.

Aged eight, a stray cat wandered into my life and much as I’d always wanted a dog, I couldn’t bear to see this poor, undernourished scruffy creature without a home. My mum disliked cats, but after a lot of nagging and crying, she allowed me to keep him. Blacky (okay, I was a kid – my imagination wasn’t developed then) lived a long and happy life and was quite a character, despite his fish breath, battle-scarred ears and scabby backbone. Over time, we all came to love him in our own ways and his demise caused great sadness.

When I first married, I used to go ten pin bowling in a team on Monday evenings. Walking home on return one dark night, I discovered a very tiny, cold budgerigar on the floor. I picked it up and we made it a makeshift cage for the night. Much as I don’t like to see caged birds and had never craved one, I couldn’t have left the poor thing to freeze to death. Over the years, we came to love our bird ‘Sid’ and he brought us great pleasure with his cheerful chirruping and comical antics. The whole family were gutted when he left for the great aviary in the sky after eleven years, a wonderful age for a budgie.

By this time ‘Franklyn’ was a member of our family. This Heinz 57 of a canine had been brought home by me several years earlier, homeless, terrified and obviously ill-treated. Hubby wasn’t too pleased, especially as during the next few months Franklyn almost devastated everything in our home and behaved like a deranged wolf when taken out. But within a year, that dog had developed into the most faithful, loving, hysterically funny and intelligent animal it was ever my pleasure to meet. We gave him twelve years of happiness and he gave us much more in return. He passed away suddenly almost four years ago; one of the rare occasions I have seen my husband cry.

Oh, there’s been many others – injured birds, pigeons, hedgehogs, rabbits, even a chicken…lol, but my point is and I apologise if I’m being long-winded, that I could never bear to see an animal suffering or leave it to its own fate. Ultimately, the reward for caring outweighed the initial inconvenience and effort.

I write this not because I think I’m a heroine or a wonderful person, not in the slightest. I also don’t want my analogy with animals to seem disrespectful in any way but examining my own actions clarifies in some ways why my son acted as he did. Mey Ling is a young lady who has suffered enormous trauma in her short life yet lights up a room with her smile. In her he saw sincerity, wisdom, innate intelligence and a very strong character. I believe he saw the opportunity to give her the chance to blossom and reap the rewards of a very loving heart. How could he leave behind the treasure he believed he’d found and regret it for the rest of his days? I know that feeling only too well.

Maybe the bookmark my son gave me on return sums it up better than I ever could.

'Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.'

I’m not saying everything will be hunky dory or the road ahead won’t be a rocky one for us all, but I do see a clearer picture in some respects and hope we can overcome difficulties as they present themselves. We have to face one worry at a time – my first is just about to be served for dinner. No squid sauce for me, thank you. MY GOOOOOD

Thank you Mavis Moog for thinking of me and presenting the lovely merit badge I shall strive to live up to.