Second Helpings

The Key Of The Door

Mey Ling is twenty-one today. I don’t suppose anyone could have predicted she’d spend such an auspicious occasion in England. We hope to make it as pleasant a day as possible for her; it certainly couldn’t be as bad as my own 21st was, but that’s another long, involved ‘woe is me’ story I’ll spare you today.

We’ll be taking the family out to a Thai restaurant this evening - MY GOOOOOD, not more noodles and ‘r i,’ then holding a small party at home tomorrow evening. What the future holds after her coming of age we have no idea.

Mey Ling hasn’t had an easy life at all. Aged four she was hit by a train after she fell in a ditch, resulting in the partial amputation of her right arm. I’m assuming she would have been naturally right-handed, so she’s done amazingly well to learn to do so many things with her left. The accident also damaged her right leg; she cannot put her foot fully to the ground, so walking far isn’t an option and as a result she has suffered muscle wastage. Obviously, if they decide to ultimately settle in England we would do our best to ensure she has whatever treatment is available. It’s amazing what can be done in these times.

But where they settle is as yet an imponderable. Mey Ling’s baby is still in Cambodia, being cared for by her family. The plan is, if she likes it here they will go back to Cambodia when her Visa expires in six months, then return with the baby. If she doesn’t like it here, then your guess is as good as mine. At the moment I suspect she has mixed feelings about this country, which is only what I anticipated.

I dare not at the moment think too much about the future. Getting through each day is as much as I can do. I know I’m stressed to the hilt; I wake up with palpitations and a clenched jaw, I’m forgetting to do things and am short-tempered – just a few of the warning signs. But there is little I can do to alter anything. Each day is a strain with my parents needing help with things and my mother’s mental state deteriorating. The added stress of a young couple in the home, one of whom is disabled, of a different culture with limited English isn’t easy to handle. I admit at times I feel like lying down in a darkened room and weeping, but I have neither the time nor the energy and what good would it do anyway?

A little voice keeps telling me I can’t cope with all this but I know I must. I seem to have major worries from all directions and no one I can turn to with them; just slap on a happy face each day and pretend life is ticking over as it should. Ironic that all I’ve wanted for years is space, time and peace, but it seems I’m destined never to have any in this life. But I’ll spare you any more whining; I tell myself constantly there are many others worse off and I still have things to be grateful for.

I have to be honest and say I wish this trauma had never happened and my son was still travelling the world as a free man, but what’s done is done and we must make sure if things go wrong, he won’t be given an opportunity to blame us for not supporting him. I still have concerns about Mey Ling; some events in her past would make anyone’s hair curl but I’m prepared to put that behind us if she and Paul are happy and determined to make a future together. I don’t think they realise what a difficult road lies ahead but did many of us in our youth?

Anyway, I said I’d stop whining didn’t I? The future is uncertain and much of it beyond our control; but today we can focus on making it a good one for Mey Ling’s burpday. I better go straighten her hair as requested – a fair exchange for the nail painting session I received yesterday. Have a good weekend yourselves.