Down the Rabbit Hole

Trying to find Atlantis

Another morning pockmarked by anger and disappointment. My inbox is overflowing again and despite an drug-induced good night's sleep last night, I feel exhausted. I'm waging war on the telephone with my insurance providers who sent out letters to our financiers indicating that our insurance policy had not been renewed, effectively grounded our entire fleet. Nice. I'm ten days late getting the warranty paperwork into the factory for two of our aircraft, one of which has been grounded due to being out of inspection, I owe settlement statements on four deals and I'm feeling rough and empty following a shallow argument with my boyfriend this morning. All the while, my 33rd birthday looms in the near future like a dreadful assassin. I coughed through my first cigarette in two years this morning, not so much enjoying it but rather, absorbing it. There was something painfully familiar and oddly satisfying about sucking the acrid smoke into my resisting lungs. Sure I was only hurting myself, but there were worst ways to do that then a little white cancer stick. I reluctantly palmed four more (emergency ones if needed), and handed the rest of the pack over to my brother with a healthy dose of self-admonishment. I dropped him off at work and he surprised me by leaning over and giving me a quick hug and telling me he loved me. He's a good egg, my baby brother. He's a lot of things, but he's mostly that. Now its back to work...I ache to write more but the day job calls, loudly and impatiently.