Down the Rabbit Hole

Ghosts and Dial tones

This morning on the drive to work, I was busy thinking. I think so much lately that it exhausts me. I was so lost in thought that I nearly missed the new colors budding budding out from the dark green landscape that lined the highway. Yellows, red and oranges, the harbingers of my favorite season. It encouraged me a little, but didn't quell my endless thinking for very long. I don't know when it became so difficult to find faith. I thought I'd begun again some time ago, stepping securely on sturdy stones of hope, but it seems that lately, that hope has deserted me at the times when I most need it. A year ago I was so determined to not be damaged, and now, lately, I'm wondering if its an inescapable fate. He's a good man. He likely deserves better. I don't know if I can be better anymore. Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe I sold my chance at happiness a long time ago to a sweet liar with a hazel eyes and a sick soul.