Teen Time

Big Bad Wolf

Big, Bad Wolf

Did you ever wonder why the wolf went after Little Red Riding Hood? Could there have been a reason? Could he have gone mad?

I mean, really, how many wolves do you know that invade houses and put on a grandmother's nightgown? Especially that cap? Would a sane wolf wear Grandmother's ugly nightcap? (In polka-dotted pink, yet...)

No way. That's why I wrote this tale so you would understand. This is the true story of what drove that poor wolf "bananas".


(Dictated by the Wolf:)


It was a female who did me in. I was strong with perfect canine teeth. My coat was shiny and full. My long, pointed jaw, some even said, was quite handsome.

Then SHE came. Like a puppy, I cavorted about, awed by the glow of luminous, green eyes. Her whiskers were fine. Her paws, dainty as a dancer’s. Ah, life was filled with sunshine, and I was blinded in its shine.

My mother used to warn me. “Don’t go picking up strange girls.”

But the forest was dark and rich with deep, soft padding. I sauntered in, unafraid, naïve, and stupid.

Once, when I was just a pup, my father took me aside and spoke of life. “Son,” he said, “listen to me now. I won’t be able to stay with you. The life of a wolf is a lonely life. I must hunt and bring home meat. Some day a hunter might catch me, or I might end up in a trap. These things happen, my boy.

“Grandfather ended up in a boiling pot of water. He slipped and fell into a pig’s chimney. It was a terrible accident. He was a good wolf.

“Grandmother ended up almost as bad. She had just eaten a duck, when a boy named Peter lassoed her tail. Hunters took her off to the zoo, where she still resides in a cage.

“Don’t let such a bleak family history roll you down that road. Stay away from people. They’re trouble with a capital T.”

Dear Daddy! That was the last time I saw him. We heard a circus captured him and made him parade about with clown clothes. What fate could be worse to a proud, ferocious beast?

Unless, it was my fate.

Red. Even today her name flows like her beautiful, bushy tail. She wagged it so fetchingly. It had streaks of browns and blacks and an odd red that sent my heart into a double-spin. And her breath when she panted up close to me was pure enchantment. Oh, how I loved my little Red.

My mother after my father’s disappearance grew sad and hollow-eyed. She mourned him with her howls to the moon. Each night, even on moonless nights, she stood at the top of the hill and cried and cried. Her bay to the moon -- half yowl, half shriek went on and on. My brothers and I trembled with the sound. We whimpered and whined, but she had no ears for us. The nights were lonely, bleak hauntings.

Then one day I couldn’t take it anymore. That morning I said goodbye to my brothers and sisters, and I set off to find my father. I searched from circus to circus. But none of them had wolves. And then, I met HER in the pitch, black forest.

She licked her lips. I didn’t see the dangling snarl. I never saw the diamond claws or the evil in her eyes. I fell, and I spiraled down into the deepest, darkest love. But it wasn’t love.

As I said, her name was Red, Little Red, and she had a splash of red fur that flowed down her back from her head to her tail, causing her to look as if she were wearing a hood and cape. Sick with love, I did everything she asked. But she left me for another. A younger lobo, a mad dog of a wolf.

Now hate grows strong, and I howl at the moon. Fatherless, motherless, and alone.

And then one day a little girl came skipping through the wood. I spoke with her as friendly as could be. I asked her where she was going. When she told me she was bound for her grandmother’s house, why, I smiled and offered to accompany her. But then, along the way, she told me her name: Little Red Riding Hood, and darkness entered me.

I howled and yipped. I shrieked and barked. And Little Red Riding Hood ran off. It wasn’t enough. I followed her. Then I saw the grandma’s house, and madness took my mind away. I remember nothing more.

I was just an innocent wolfling, barely out of the cave. My mother loved me. My father cared. Why did it all go wrong? Red, Little Red. . .Aooooooooh!