Snow Melt

All the Signs are There

Kamal (Perfection), 3 Sultan 164 B.E. - Monday, January 21, 2008 about 10:54 AM PST

I'm beginning a new phase of my life
all the signs are there
the three dreams, which occur just before it begins,
the stress surrounding labor and a new birth.

The stress and labor pains
always occur in the year preceding the new phase
the birth of a new life.

The dreams are of my grandparents
and come on three consecutive nights:
the first dream is always the same,
in it my mother and I
(it's always my mother and I
none of my siblings are ever in this dream)
are in Blackwell, Oklahoma,
in my grandparents house.

The reason we're there is
for my grandparent funeral
and to dispose of their property;
my cousins are in the dream
(they never change and they never age)
and we're discussing what to do with the house,
what Mom and I want to take back to Vegas with us;
our plane is leaving that afternoon
so we have to decide what we want
and what we can take on the plane,
the rest will be sent to us;
my cousins will sell or buy the house themselves
it's never clear precisely which.

The other two dreams are always different,
but my grandparents are alway in them
alive and will and happy.

In one dream I'm always losing something,
or leaving something somewhere,
or getting something stolen from me,
I never find it
its always important
(at least in the dream)
and I'm not afraid
just concerned.

In the other dream
I'm always at a lose for words.

All the signs are there,
a new phase of my life has begun
and I'm at a lose for words.